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February 26, 2020

Group Answers Episode 141: Andrew Peterson

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On this episode of Group Answers, Brian and Chris talk to author and musician, Andrew Peterson.

Andrew Peterson is an award-winning singer-songwriter and author. The second book in his Wingfeather Saga, “North! Or Be Eaten” (2009) won the Christy Award for Young Adult Fiction, and the fourth, “The Warden and the Wolf King” (2014) won Children’s Book of the Year in 2015 from “WORLD Magazine.”

In 2008, driven by a desire to cultivate a strong Christian arts community, Andrew founded a ministry called The Rabbit Room, which led to a yearly conference, countless concerts and symposiums, and Rabbit Room Press, which has published thirty books to date. He’s been married for 24 years to his wife Jamie, with whom they have three children.

His new book, “Adorning the Dark”, is both a memoir of Peterson’s journey and an encouragement for artists, written in the hope that his story will provide practical tools to others stumbling along in pursuit of a calling to adorn the dark with the light of Christ.

Question asked:

Why did you decide to create The Rabbit Room community?
Community seems to be important to you – The Rabbit Room, Behold the Lamb of God tour – why is it important to have a community – even in the world of artists?
How do you keep a consistent community when you’re constantly on the road as a musician and speaker?
What prompted you to write “Adorning the Dark”?
For whom did you write this book? Can those who don’t work in the arts and may not consider
themselves a creative person use this?
What is one thing you have learned about creativity and the Christian life in your 20 years as a
singer/songwriter, that you wish you could go back and tell your younger self?
How does our calling as Christians intersect and inform the “great mystery of creativity”?

Resources mentioned:

Episode Sponsor:

For more than 25 years, Portable Church® has helped thousands of churches launch strong and thrive in a mobile setting. They design custom solutions that fit each budget, vision, and venue. Everything you need to launch a mobile church — an inviting worship space, kids ministry areas, welcome spaces, storage cases, etc — all in a system refined to make it fast, easy & fun for the weekly volunteer teams.

The Group Answers Podcast is a weekly show designed to resource, train, and encourage small group leaders. Each episode considers current trends and resources as well as timeless truths and methods of discipleship. It is hosted by Brian Daniel, a Bible study and discipleship expert in LifeWay’s Groups Ministry, and Chris Surratt, the small group and discipleship specialist at LifeWay and author of Leading Small Groups.

Church Leadership

February 25, 2020

Genocide From Suicide and The Church’s Response

By Group Ministry

by Evan Owens

Suicide rates have been rising in nearly every state year over year for the past decade. Last year, over 47,000 Americans died by suicide, bringing suicide onto the infamous list of the leading causes of death. The American Association for Suicidology (AAS) estimates that there were 1.1 million suicide attempts in 2016. That translates to an attempt every 28 seconds.

We are experiencing the first-ever, self inflicted genocide. We are killing ourselves at a rate so astounding that it has caused the average life expectancy to decrease in America. In other words, statistically speaking, we aren’t living as long as we did twenty years ago. Fewer babies are dying at birth and people over the age of 80 are living longer, but drug abuse and suicide are skewing the data to paint a tragic picture.

Suicide is the second most common cause of death for ages 15-24, second only to accidental death. Those most common to die by suicide are white, middle-aged males. Your banker. The CEO of the healthcare company down the road. The guy in the pew next to you who lost his job last month.

Something has to be done – but what? How should the church respond to this epidemic?

We must continue to restore the value of human life.

As Christians, we believe that God breathes life into every living being. Genesis 2: 7, “Then the Lord God formed the man of dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living creature.” This life has value simply because of the one who created it. It is a masterpiece, created to do great things. Psalm 8:5 says, “Yet you have made him a little lower than the heavenly beings and crowned him with glory and honor.”

Our existence cost God greatly. Romans 5:8, “But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

The value of human life is rising for the unborn. Despite what you may hear or read on social media, the battle to protect the unborn is being won in large, due to the efforts of evangelical Christians. In 1990, over 1.4 million babies were aborted. That number has steadily decreased and projections show that by 2020 there may be less than 500,000 abortions. Christians are restoring the value placed on human life inside the womb.

We must deploy similar tactics and passion in an effort to stem the tide of suicide. Those who have attempted but not completed suicide must be given platforms to share their stories. We must remove shame and instead learn from their experiences. The goal is not to glorify the attempt but rather to inspire prevention.

We must talk about perseverance and give opportunities for it to be developed.

Suicide prevention is only part of the equation – and in my opinon – the less vital part. Romans 5:3-5 says, “Not only so, but we[a] also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.”

Catch this: in order for hope to be produced, we must first persevere through suffering. Remove perseverance and hope is lost. This is where the Christian message can flip this conversation on its head and offer a significantly different viewpoint. Scripture doesn’t say to avoid suffering, but rather to embrace it and let it produce something good in you.

As a culture we are losing our grit. Hard things that were considered part of the human experience are now being seen as illnesses to avoid. We seek comfort and wellness above all else. This is evidenced by a booming wellness industry and recording-breaking growth in pharmaceuticals. But while this search for more comfort allows us to numb the feelings that come along with hard experiences, it also robs us of their fruit. When we bypass the pain, we bypass the hope.

As contradictory as it may sound, the path to hope comes through experiencing pain, not avoiding it!

As Christians encountering those who are suffering or experiencing suicidal ideations, we shouldn’t make their life harder. But we should work to help them see the small victories. These small victories rebuild hope. We should encourage them that hardship doesn’t have to crush them, but instead can make them stronger.

We must all become first responders

It would be wonderful if heart attacks always happened in the emergency room, but they don’t! That’s why CPR is such a valuable skill to have. Every person who knows CPR has the ability to save a life with just a little bit of training. Imagine every Christian knowing trauma CPR or mental health CPR. How many lives could we save?

We aren’t all counselors, but we can all learn trauma CPR. Together, we can lead the broken-hearted to the Healer. The city on the hill becomes most visible during the darkest of nights. When people are suicidal, the city on the hill should be a beacon of light and life, offering hope to those who need it most.

Evan Owens currently serves as the Executive Director of REBOOT Recovery. He is certified in military ministry and has personally facilitated trauma recovery groups for over 350 combat veterans and military spouses. REBOOT is a non-profit that helps veterans, first responders and their loved ones to heal from the moral and spiritual wounds associated with service-related trauma.

Group Leadership

February 24, 2020

All Means All, Whether Big or Small

By Group Ministry

by Michael Kelley

Pretty Seuss-ian title, right? But let’s get down to it:

We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God: those who are called according to His purpose.” —Romans 8:28

That’s arguably one of the most quoted verses in the Bible—the stuff that sympathy cards are made of. But there are two ways that I think we typically misunderstand this beautiful promise from God’s Word here.

The first way happens by replacing in our thinking the word “good” here for the word “comfort.” God does not work all things for the comfort of His people; He works all things for their good, and those are two very different things. A yearly physical at the doctor’s office might not necessarily be comfortable, but it’s good for us to have. And eating three gallons of ice cream might be a very comfortable thing for us to do on a Saturday but that doesn’t mean it’s good for us. The promise here, then, is not that we would, as the people of God, be supremely comfortable in our big houses with our big incomes and our big lives, but instead that God will engineer and work everything for our good. So what is that good, ultimately, for us?

That we might know Him in a deeper and more full way. That we would be conformed, little by little, into taking on the character of Jesus. And that we might learn the true value of the kingdom and the King and help others see the same. God is actively—all the time—working things for our good.

Couched in that promise is a three-letter word that deserves some extra attention, which is the second misunderstanding we might bring to this promise. The word in question is this:

“All.”

The way we read this word betrays our obsession with the big and important. When we read that God works all things together for our good, we tend to think of the most significant, life-altering situations we’ve ever experienced. We think of the cancer. The job loss. The death. The difficult relationships that go on for years. On the good side, we think about His miraculous provision during times of need. The healing. The wonderful friendship of another. The child. We take stock and look back over the course of our lives and realize that, in both the best and worst of times, God has been working for our good, even (and perhaps most especially) when we could not, for the life of us, perceive how.

But those are all big things. The milestones. The dividing markers. Curious, though, that the verse doesn’t say that God works the big events of life for our good. In fact, we could go so far and say that if we only think of this promise in terms of the “big” then we are failing to grasp the true—and somewhat ironic—immensity of what we find here. “All” is, if I could say it like this, much bigger than just the big things.

“All” means all.

It means the daily commute. The casual conversation over coffee. The date night with your spouse. The almost nightly discipline of your children. The prayer before dinner and the bedtime stories at night. “All” means all. “All” even goes beyond those events of which we are immediately aware. It means those things right now happening halfway across the world we have no idea about. It means political decisions made at the highest levels. It means acts of nature and random news stories we read about. Somehow, even these things are for our good. Such is the amazingly intricate work of God—that God might be working in yet unknown ways and in yet unknown people to provide for His people in yet unknown ways.

The group environment provides a unique opportunity to reflect together on “all”—not just the big, but also the small. It affords us a chance to view the everyday with new lenses, confident together of God’s enduring presence and work.

“All” means all. Breathe it in. Because it’s happening right now.

Michael Kelley lives in Nashville, TN, with his wife, Jana, and three children: Joshua (10), Andi (7), and Christian (5). He serves as Director of Groups Ministry for Lifeway Christian Resources. As a communicator, Michael speaks across the country at churches, conferences, and retreats and is the author of Wednesdays Were Pretty Normal: A Boy, Cancer, and God; Transformational Discipleship; and Boring: Finding an Extraordinary God in an Ordinary Life. Find him on Twitter: @_MichaelKelley.

Group Answers Podcast

February 19, 2020

Group Answers Episode 140: Claude V. King on Experiencing God

By Group Ministry

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On this episode of Group Answers, Brian and Chris talk to Claude King about the 30th anniversary of the Bible Study, Experiencing God. Claude King serves as Discipleship Specialist at LifeWay Christian Resources. After attending school in New Orleans, Claude began work as an editor at the Baptist Sunday School Board in Nashville, Tennessee. He met and began working with Henry Blackaby in 1986. That relationship led to their developing “Experiencing God: Knowing and Doing the Will of God” which was first released in 1990. In his current job at LifeWay, he speaks, leads workshops and seminars, and consults with pastors and church leaders to help them and their churches obey Jesus Christ’s final command to make disciples of all nations.

Questions asked:

Tell us about the genesis of Experiencing God.
What was it like to work with Henry Blackably?
Were you surprised at how well received the study was, and how it has impacted almost every Bible study written since then?
What kind of stories have you heard about its impact worldwide?
Tell us about your newest resource, Return To Me.

Resourced mentioned:

Experiencing God Bible Study

Return To Me Bible Study

Episode Sponsor:

Church Leadership

February 18, 2020

The 3 Hardest People to Disciple

By Ken Braddy

You’re channel surfing late one night and you happen to stop on a channel with a show that is just beginning. A father and son walk side by side with fishing poles slung over their shoulders. The images are in black and white, and the theme song is being whistled by a person off camera. What have you stumbled into? There are pine trees, a dirt path, and what appears to be a father-son fishing trip to the lake. You’ve just found a re-run of one of the most iconic shows in history – The Andy Griffith Show. Full of memorable characters like Opie, Aunt Bee, and of course Barney Fife. The real star of the show, Andy Griffith, had a way of dealing with difficult people. His wit and wisdom allowed him to carefully navigate the most difficult of relationships. Andy knew just how to help people see his point of view, do his will, and create harmonious situations out of chaotic ones. Sheriff Andy always knew how to deal with the hardest kinds of people – the kinds of difficult people most of us would write off. He found ways to help them overcome their shortcomings – all in 30 minute episodes.

If you lead a Bible study group long enough, you’re going to run into some people who are hard to disciple. That doesn’t mean that you write them off, of course. It does mean that you may have to be savvy in how you disciple them, just like the way Andy Griffith was careful in how he dealt with the difficult people he encountered. What kinds of people might you encounter who are going to be harder to disciple? In my experience, there are at least 3 kinds of people that will prove challenging:

The know-it-all disciple. People who are intellectually proud about spiritual matters have an arrogance that is difficult to get past in a discipling relationship. The Apostle Paul was like this before coming to Christ. He was full of knowledge about the Old Testament, proud of his cultural heritage and education, and he was absolutely convinced he was right in his denouncement of Christianity. It was not until his Damascus Road encounter that his self-assuredness was broken and he became dependent upon Christ to teach him the things he’d overlooked in his arrogant, pre-conversion state. If you are in a discipling relationship with a Christian who believes they have all the answers and can unlock the deep mysteries of God, you’re going to have a challenge on your hands. This know-it-all disciple can be hard to bring along the road to maturity, but don’t give up. To help this kind of disciple, you’ll want to challenge their false beliefs and incomplete understandings of spiritual things. The best thing you can do for this person is to show them how much they have to learn; help them see the lifetime it will take to even mature a little toward Christ-likeness. Help them by showing them how you haven’t arrived yet – and how you are still discovering new truths about the Bible daily.
The time-compressed disciple. Just a few years ago, sociologists began using the term “time compressed” to describe people’s lifestyles. This observation demonstrates that more and more people run from one situation to the next, in spite of all the time-saving technologies available to us. The urgent tends to crowd out the significant things in life that should be the center of our time and attention. Growth as a disciple is partially influenced by the time you spend reading the Bible, praying, serving others, and relating to individuals who have a maturity and wisdom you aspire to have. A time-compressed schedule will always work against a disciple becoming fully mature in Christ. When you have this difficult disciple in your group and you seek to help them grow beyond their current circumstances. Call attention to their fast-paced lifestyle and sit with them as they review their calendar, helping them to find margin in their schedule. Lead them to say no to come things in their life that have crowded out “God and me” time. This kind of growing disciple needs accountability – so give it to them!
The spiritually myopic disciple. In my experience, this is the hardest kind of disciple with whom I have to deal with from time to time. While they have a desire to grow in Christ and have begun to practice spiritual disciplines that lead toward maturity, they may not see just how far they have to grow. Although they are Christ’s ambassadors, they don’t fully realize, or care, how their behavior and actions hurt others around them when they fall short of Christ’s standards. A misspoken word, a fit of anger, a course joke, or a seemingly indifferent attitude can set them back lightyears with people they might otherwise influence for Christ. Those people might be a family member, a friend, a co-worker, or an acquaintance. The sad thing is, the disciple with whom you are working may not realize how they accidentally damage their relationship with others and how they make Christ less attractive to those who watch their lifestyle. In the case of the myopic disciple, you have to be blunt. Not blunt force trauma blunt, but blunt. It is far worse to let this disciple go on blindly hurting their opportunities to represent Christ than it is to call their attention to their shortcomings. Yes, there is potential that a discipling relationship might end if they become offended, but the stakes are too serious to let this kind of thing go unchecked.

Yes, Andy Griffith had a way of dealing with difficult people that is admirable. He confronted them when he needed to. He backed off when the timing was right. He ultimately found a way to achieve his goal, and the other person was usually better for it. “Good mornin’ ladies. My goodness, don’t you look happy! Must be cuttin’ somebody up real good” Andy said in an episode about the perils of gossiping. I pray for that kind of boldness and wisdom as I lead a group of growing disciples myself! He could step on people’s shoes and not mess up their shine. That’s what I want to do as I lead others to study the Bible and grow as disciples.

The one thing I’ll always want to remind myself is this: I am most likely someone’s difficult person – so I must be quick to extend grace for I need it as well. As I go through life I must remember the words of the Apostle Paul who mentored and discipled his younger protégé, Timothy when he said, “The Lord’s servant must not quarrel, but must be gentle to everyone, able to teach, and patient, instructing his opponents with gentleness.” (2 Timothy 2:24-25, CSB).

Ken Braddy manages LifeWay’s Ongoing Bible studies, leads his church’s groups ministry, and blogs daily on Sunday School and small groups at kenbraddy.com.

Church Leadership

February 14, 2020

The Signposts of a Growing Disciple – Part 8

By Lynn Pryor

What does a mature disciple of Christ look like? Over the past decade LifeWay Research has delved into this with thousands of pastors and church leaders. Culling through the data, we discovered that strong discipleship ministries and practices could be put in eight categories. We call these eight categories the signposts along the discipleship pathway. One sign of growing disciples is that they seek God.

We can do a lot of things on “auto-pilot.” If you’re like me you can brush your teeth without consciously thinking about the process of brushing your teeth; you can brush while working complex algebra equations in your head. (Well, maybe you can; I can’t) The daily commute to work can become so routine that we can drive the route without ever thinking about it. Other things like chores and office work can also be done in auto-pilot.

One thing we should never do in auto-pilot is our time with God. Whether it’s corporate worship or private Bible reading, we must be focused and intentional to receive anything from it.

In the Transformational Discipleship research, growing disciples strongly disagreed with the idea that worship can be done by simply “going through the motions.” Instead, maturing disciples approach things like congregational worship, prayer, and time alone with God with focus and intentionality. They actively want to seek God, worship Him, and draw closer to Him. A believer seeking God is evident in three ways.

Christlikeness is their goal. A person becomes a disciple of Christ because he intends to follow Him and become like Him. The desire to become like Jesus does not end when we cross over the threshold of faith and gain salvation. Growing disciples continuously seek after God because of their love for Him and commitment to become more like Jesus. We should have a continuous hunger for knowing Christ.
Faith is their guiding principle. Maturing disciples prioritize their faith as the guiding principle for living. The personal commitment to Jesus Christ for salvation remains important throughout their lives.
Honoring God is their desire. In the research, growing believers gave a strong agreement to the statement, “One of the main reasons I live my life the way I do is to please and honor God.” These believers actively praise God for His previous work in their lives, chase after what He wants next for them, and seek to do it in a way that glorifies Him.

Seeking God is the believer’s priority. We seek Him above everything else, and when we do, His work will naturally be done in and through our lives.

“But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be provided for you” (Matt. 6:33).

Ways the Church Can Foster Believers Who Seek God.

Promote group prayer. Many churches have moved away from a weekly prayer meeting, but we would do well to resurrect them—with a twist. The twist? Too often these meetings included a Bible study, fifteen minutes of sharing requests, and five minutes of praying. Why not spend the entire time praying? If the group is large, let them pray in smaller groups.

Encourage prayer groups in homes, offices, and coffee shops. Challenge believers to meet with 1-2 others and pray. For those unaccustomed to praying, doing so with others can lead them to develop the discipline of prayer as a way to seek God.

Organize a prayer retreat. Provide a weekend opportunity for believers to get away for a day or two, set aside their phones and electronic devices, and seek God. This can be a tough act for many of us, but a retreat is an opportunity to force ourselves to seek God and go before Him without any distractions.

Evaluate the weekly worship service. What happens on Sunday mornings is almost universally called a worship service, so make sure it is a time of worship that leads us to go deeper with God and step out in service. If you plan the service with a group, plan with a critical eye. Do what will enhance worship—and that it more than just choosing the right songs and adjusting the lighting.

Rearrange the way the service progresses. For example, lead with the sermon and follow with music and singing as a time to reflect on the pastor’s message. Both traditional and contemporary services tend to have a regular flow to them; I’m not suggesting change simply for the sake of change, but when there is a sameness to the flow of the service week after week, it becomes a routine, a rote habit that can be done on auto-pilot.

Lose the printed order of service. Of course, those leading in worship need to have a plan, but why share it with the whole congregation? A printed order lends to the idea that worship is a program. Believers can worship without knowing what’s going to happen next.

We’d love to hear from you. What are some ways your church is helping believers see God?

Lynn Pryor (@lynnpryor) is a team leader in LifeWay’s ongoing adult Bible study department. He also serves as an interim pastor in the Nashville area. Read more from his blog at lynnhpryor.com.

Church Leadership

February 13, 2020

10 Ways to Re-engage Group Dropouts

By Ken Braddy

“Absent Without Leave,” or “AWOL” for short, is a serious offense if you’re in the military. It is a term used to describe
someone who is a member of a group, but drops out of sight and leaves their post unattended. It’s also a serious infraction if you’re a member of a Bible study group! I’ve taught an ongoing Bible study for over seven years now, and I’ve had my fair share of people who went AWOL. Some were absent for a few weeks, then returned. Others dropped out for longer periods of time. As a group leader, you can’t control who is in your group each week; you do have control over what you do about the group members who drop out.

In a typical group, about 45-50% of group members will be absent any time the group meets (this is especially true in a Sunday school ministry). Therefore, if you have 20 people on your group ministry role, you can be confident that around 10 of them will be absent the next time the group meets. This leaves group leaders in a slight quandary – what should you do about the dropouts between group meetings? The tendency may be to say, “Well, they know where and when we meet – they’ll show back up.” But is that the best approach? Here are some ideas for dealing with people who become group dropouts.

Pray for them. This is an important first step in helping dropouts reconnect with your group. As a group leader, you should pray for the AWOL people in your group. But you can lead your group members to pray for them as well. Consider focusing the group’s prayer efforts on one or two people, or one or two couples each week. This will raise the group’s awareness that people are absent and need to be cared for.
Encourage them. Because electronic mail is so prevalent today, why not try something a little old fashioned? A handwritten note is a nice, personal touch in an overly electronic world. Tell the group dropout they are missed, and that your Bible study group isn’t the same without them. Remind them they contribute in significant ways when they are present. Ask if they need ministry from the group. Keep things positive. Don’t chastise them for being gone.
Understand them. It’s easy to judge someone and label them as “non-committed” or a “slacker.” But resist hanging a label around their neck. Instead, get to know their situation. They may be under significant stress at work, they could be traveling to care for an aging parent on the weekends, or some other significant reason that explains their absence. In those cases, your group now has opportunities to minister to the absentee and to serve them.
Visit them. Yes, home visitation is on the decline today, but that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t occasionally get in your car and stop by the group dropout’s home for a quick “porch visit.” Dropping off your group’s Bible study materials to the absentee can remind them about your group and their need to belong to it. If nothing else, a heartfelt “We sure miss you in Bible study” can melt the ice and help a person or a couple feel better about reconnecting to the group after a prolonged absence. It also helps them get over those awkward feelings if they’ve simply ducked out of church because they are tired, allowed kids’ sports to interfere with Sunday worship and Bible study, or some other reason.
Don’t give up on them. This is perhaps the most important one. Don’t just focus your attention on the “99 sheep” you have. Jesus told a parable in which the owner of sheep left 99 of them in search of 1 lost sheep. The parable demonstrated the value of people to the Lord, and the extreme measures He went to in order to provide salvation for them. Those AWOL members of your group are precious to the Lord – He died for them – and it grieves the Holy Spirit when people choose to disconnect from the church. Don’t write off the group dropout, and certainly don’t remove them from your group’s ministry list.
Invite them to a party. People who’ve been absent for a long time feel awkward about showing back up suddenly. Everyone likes a party, though, so plan a fellowship and reach out to every group dropout. It will be easier for them to reconnect with the group at a party away from the church. Help them take baby steps toward regular attendance.
Call them. I prefer that you call, not email or text, any long-term group dropouts. You may have to start the conversation with something like, “I’ve not done a great job keeping up with you” or “Forgive me for not calling sooner…” This transfers the responsibility to you, and doesn’t make the absentee feel put upon. Let them know you care, want to pray for them, and desire them to come back to your group.
Downsize the group. I’m not a big fan of large groups for making disciples. Jesus’ ministry was primarily to a group of 12 disciples, and an inner group of 3 disciples. The larger the group, the harder it is for the group leader to act like a Teacher-Shepherd and care for all of the group dropouts. A smaller group will be easier to lead, and it will certainly be easier to follow up with a few dropouts than trying to care for many group dropouts.
Organize the group. One of the best practices a group could have is to divide the members among several Care Group Leaders. Each care group leader is responsible for reaching out every week to any dropout under their watchcare. In doing so, Care Group leaders share the load of ministry with the group’s leader, allowing him or her to focus on studying and guiding the group’s Bible study.
Take advantage of natural “on ramps.” If your group has dropouts, there will be times of the year that provide natural and easier ways to get them to reengage with your group. Some are related to timing: it’s easier to invite people to reengage at the first of the year, the beginning of summer, and the start of the school year. It’s also easier to invite a person to reengage when the group begins a new Bible study. A quick message like, “Hey, we miss you, and want you to know we’re starting a new study next week” gives the absentee a good reason to jump back in and reengage with the group.

If you’re going to lead a Bible study group, you’re going to have dropouts. Commit to not only prepare your group’s Bible study experience, prayer, and fellowship experiences, but also to have a strategy for quickly and effectively reaching out to those who drop out of group life. You’ll come to learn, as I have, that the quicker you reach out to an absentee, the easier it is. When people go AWOL, don’t leave them in that state. Just a little encouragement can help them reengage with you and your group members.

Ken Braddy manages LifeWay’s Ongoing Bible studies, leads his church’s groups ministry, and blogs daily on Sunday School and small groups at kenbraddy.com.

Group Answers Podcast

February 12, 2020

Group Answers Episode 139: My New Life Study

By Group Ministry

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On this episode of Group Answers, Brian and Chris talk to Tyler Quillet about the new Bible study, My New Life. Tyler is the Discipleship Strategist for the Custom Bible Study team at LifeWay Christian Resources. He previously spent 15 years as a pastor and is passionate about serving churches and pouring into church leaders in a variety of ways.

Questions asked:

What was the genesis of the new study, My New Life?
Why is it important to have a study like this for new believers?
Can this study be done individually?
Walk us through the spiritual journey that this study takes people on.
What kind of tips would you give a group leader or mentor who is leading new believers through this study?
What would you suggest for someone’s next steps after this study?

Session topics:
1. My New Life in Jesus
2. Understanding the Gospel
3. The God Who Made Us
4. Abiding in Jesus
5. The Importance of the Church
6. Joining God on Mission

Resources mentioned:

My New Life Bible Study Book

Episode Sponsor:

Church Leadership

February 11, 2020

3 Mistakes We Can Make When Helping People Struggling with Mental Illness

By Group Ministry

by Evan Owens

We all want to help our friends who are struggling with a mental health challenge or healing from a traumatic experience. But knowing what (and what not) to say can feel totally overwhelming. If you’re like me, you worry that you might say the wrong thing and trigger symptoms that make the situation worse. Afterall, you aren’t a certified counselor or medical professional. Sadly, too many of us end up missing the chance to help those we love because we are afraid of doing the wrong thing.

Over the past nine years, I’ve had thousands of conversations with people who have endured chronic illness, mental health illness and post traumatic stress. I’m not a certified counselor. I’m just like you– an everyday guy with a heart to help others. And after thousands of conversations, I’ve learned that there are three common mistakes that Christians make when trying to help their friends and family. But before I share those, here’s the good news:

These mistakes are easy to avoid.

When I first began meeting with hurting people, I was overwhelmed. I remember sitting in my car, nervously rehearsing in my head the upcoming conversation. I felt totally unprepared and under-qualified. But nonetheless, I went in ready to help! I did my best, but honestly, the conversations were often awkward and aimless.

I asked stupid questions, I tried too hard to relate to their experience by sharing personal stories that weren’t even in the same realm of hardship. I didn’t ask some good questions in fear that I might bring up a painful memory that they didn’t want to discuss. The conversations were not disasters, but they weren’t masterpieces either. Looking back, I dramatically over complicated them. I’d like to spare you from following in my footsteps, so here are the three most common mistakes I made:

1. I didn’t wait for an invitation

Newsflash – sometimes people can put out the fires in their own lives. They don’t always need me to rush in and save the day. This was a hard lesson for me to learn. My intentions were pure, but my tact was way off base. The moment I saw a fire in someone’s life, I would run towards it ready to help. Have you ever been on the receiving end of help that you didn’t ask for? It is uncomfortable at best, if not downright offensive.

Those of us in leadership positions, whether it be leading a Church, a small group or a prayer team, are constantly bombarded by people with problems. This can train our brains to assume everyone wants our help. In those early days, I never once asked the person I was meeting if they would like me to join them in their journey of healing. I just assumed they would since I am such a charming individual!

Tragically, in a few cases, they had to tell me they weren’t ready for my help or they just no-showed my meetings. This was a hard lesson, but one I had to learn. Now, I simply ask for permission and wait for an invitation before running towards the fires in other people’s lives.

2 . Instead of leading with grace and love – I led with advice

Advice without grace sounds like judgement. Have you ever been on the receiving end of ungracious advice? Seeds of advice that aren’t planted in the soil of grace won’t produce any yield. As the number of people I was helping began to increase, I found myself over-extended. Instead of 2 hour coffee meetings I had to shorten them to 45 minutes. In other words, I needed to get to the point faster. Less rapport building, less listening and more advice giving. Like a spiritual vending machine, they’d put in a token of their time and out would come some advice. Shockingly, in many cases God redeemed my lack of humility and allowed my advice to help them in their situations, but it felt like commodity advice.

Leading with grace and love sounds like this, “I want you to know I love you and care about you. No matter what you choose to share with me (and what you ultimately choose to do), I want you to know that I am in your corner.”

Leading with that kind of commitment and support changes the entire atmosphere and opens up the conversation. Too often, we lead with advice that isn’t received. Save yourself some time and energy, don’t give advice until you are certain they understand the source from which it is coming.

3. I tried to fix their problem for them

John 15:1 says, ““I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener.”

Sometimes I want to be the gardener. I want to prune the unruly branches and make the plant look healthy.. I have learned that when we do this, we risk burnout and compassion fatigue. Our role when helping those who are struggling with trauma or mental health challenges isn’t to fix them. Our role is to help them grow through the suffering as best we can by ensuring that they are connected to the true vine: Jesus We can encourage them, pray for them, love them, weep with them and rejoice with them, but we can’t heal them. This is what bearing one another’s burdens really looks like..

For many living with mental health challenges or coping with trauma, there will be good days and bad days. Symptoms will ebb and flow. Others will come into their lives for a brief moment to offer unsolicited advice on how they would manage the situation, but few will join them for the long journey.

Learn from my mistakes: helping someone dealing with chronic illness, trauma or mental health challenges isn’t about “fixing” their problem as much as it is about carrying that problem with them. Wait for an invitation. Lead with grace.

Adopting this mindset will eliminate many of the all too common mistakes the faith community has made in this area such as bad theology, denial that mental health struggles exist and so on. The mistakes, while still present, are rapidly becoming less common as our congregations become more informed.

As you continue serving your community, overcome those feelings of inadequacy and simply be a friend first. While institutions and medical professionals diagnose and treat, they don’t sacrificially love people very often. That’s where you come in.

Evan Owens currently serves as the Executive Director of REBOOT Recovery. He is certified in military ministry and has personally facilitated trauma recovery groups for over 350 combat veterans and military spouses. REBOOT is a non-profit that helps veterans, first responders and their loved ones to heal from the moral and spiritual wounds associated with service-related trauma.

Group Answers Podcast

February 7, 2020

Group Answers Oscars Bonus Episode

By Chris Surratt

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On this bonus episode of Group Answers, Brian, Chris, and Jenaye look at how pop culture events, like The Oscars, can be fun gatherings for your community. They also break down this year’s Best Picture nominees.

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