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Church Leadership, Tuesday Thoughts

Tuesday Thoughts: Gospel Centered Authenticity

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I don’t know about you, but there’s this near paralyzing fear comes when I think about true authenticity. You know those thoughts that bombard us when we start to grow in relationships with others. If people only knew the things I’ve done in my past, my shortcomings as a spouse or my failure as a parent, my sin based in my insecurities, but the Christian community has a unique answer to all of these hesitations. As Christians, we have the opportunity to present not a persona but our authentic selves to others in our small group, but we can only be truly authentic with each other and even the outside world through a deep belief in the Gospel because the Gospel reminds us that Jesus is fully and completely bore our sin because Jesus bore our sin, we can live in the freedom of being in right standing with God.

We can day by day live with the full knowledge that we are the righteousness of Christ untainted by sin and welcomed into the family of God and amazingly even today when you and I sin and we will, we can know that Jesus bore that sin as well. The Bible has a picture of this authentic transparency. It’s found in James 5:16 where he says, therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another so that you may be healed and this verse is transparency at its best. It’s the picture of someone who convinced the limitless grace and promise forgiveness of Jesus confesses their sin. They lay themselves open and bear before others. Not expecting shame and guilt, but expecting healing. Our naturally reaction to sin is to run and hide in the darkness, but the power of the gospel frees us to come out into the light.

The work of Jesus makes confession and repentance more beautiful than burdensome. We can truly share that below the line of shame because we already know that we are so broken that Jesus had to die for us, but we also know that were so loved that he was willing to die for us. So how do we do this with our small group? Let me give you five tips for being truly authentic with your small group.

First, be willing to go first. You know, a good practice of facilitation is usually ask a question and then wait for others to jump in before you give the answer, but there may be times where you want to go first, share something from your life and set the example for others in your group.

Two, be prepared before the group meeting. Go through the study know the question so you can know those opportunities where you might be able to share something from your life and kind of help set that example for the rest of the group to follow.

Number three, know you should ease into the personal questions. Sometimes we can go there too fast, especially if this is a new group. It’s going to take some time for them to jail before they’re ready to completely open, open themselves up to the people around them.

Number four, keep the focus on Jesus and grace. Continue to point the group back to the message of the cross. Authenticity will come when we think about that amazing love that Christ has for us by laying down his life for our sin. So always point the group back to Jesus and grace.

And then number five, make prayer integral part of the group experience. You know, sometimes we can forget about the prayer time or kind of rushed through it, but really prayer sets the stage for true authenticity and healing in our group. So following those five practices will lead to the kind of authenticity that brings healing and grace to your group members.

Chris Surratt is a ministry consultant and coach with more than twenty years of experience serving the local church. Chris served on the Executive Teams at Cross Point Church in Nashville, TN., and Seacoast Church in Charleston, S.C., prior to becoming the Discipleship and Small Groups Specialist for LifeWay Christian Resources. He is the author of  Small Groups for the Rest of Us: How to Design Your Small Groups System to Reach the Fringes. You can follow his blog at www.chrissurratt.com.
Tuesday Thoughts

Tuesday Thoughts: Shaping Culture in your Small Group

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Today I want to talk about shaping the culture of your small group. You know, every environment that we find ourselves in has a culture. Kind of those unwritten rules or laws that we all abide by when we’re in that environment. For instance, your work place has a culture. There’s a certain way that you behave, how you interact with people at work and that becomes the culture of your workplace. Our homes have a culture. The way that we act in our homes, where we behave in our environment is just the natural culture of the unwritten laws, rules of our homes. Well, our small groups have a culture as well. Now, culture is kind of like the rebar of a building when it’s being constructed and if you were to go by a building when it’s first getting started, you might see these steel poles that are in the building and that’s the rebar and that’s the framework for that building, but we don’t go by a building at that stage and admire it and say, that’s gonna be a beautiful building! I can tell by the rebar! No, we wait until it’s built out and the outside gets on and then we admire it. But if the rebar wasn’t there, that building would eventually collapse.

So that’s the same thing when it comes to our small groups. What is the culture? What is the rebar? What is the framework of your small group? It’s either Gospel centered or it’s not. So if we recognize this fact, we should take on an active role in culture formation in our small group and we should be concerned that the gospel is not merely a message that we talk about, but it’s actually providing the underlying framework for everything that we do in our group life. That it infiltrates our thoughts and our beliefs and consequently our groups so deeply that even the normal aspects of what we do together in our group takes on a different kind of significance and meaning. And that’s being gospel centered with our culture. So over the next few weeks with Tuesday thoughts, I’m going to break that out and look at how do we take each aspect of the culture of our group and make sure that it’s gospel centered.

Chris Surratt is a ministry consultant and coach with more than twenty years of experience serving the local church. Chris served on the Executive Teams at Cross Point Church in Nashville, TN., and Seacoast Church in Charleston, S.C., prior to becoming the Discipleship and Small Groups Specialist for LifeWay Christian Resources. He is the author of  Small Groups for the Rest of Us: How to Design Your Small Groups System to Reach the Fringes. You can follow his blog at www.chrissurratt.com.
Church Leadership

Tuesday Thoughts: The 4 D’s – The Debater

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Okay, we’re having a conversation about the EGRs in your group and that stands for extra grace required people. And Those are just simply people that may take a little bit more of your patience, a little bit more of your time than everybody else in the group. Also refer to these as the four D’s and the first week we talked about the dominator. That’s somebody who just dominates the conversation during the group time. Then you’ve got the dodger, which is the opposite of the dominator, and they’re somebody who doesn’t enter into the conversation. Then you have the debater and the drainer. And today for just a minute, I just want to talk about what do you do if you have a debater or debaters in your group time. So these are people who want to debate the study. They want to debate the conversation. Now, some debate is, okay, and if you’re studying the whole Bible, you’re going to have some controversial topics that are going to require some discussion, but at the end of the night, we want the truth of God’s word to the land. So what do you if you have somebody who always wants to debate it, there are four things that you can do that I think will help as you lead your discussion.

The first thing is to prepare. Be prepared before the group time. Read through the discussion guide, make sure you know where the finish line of the discussion needs to go, so when you have that debate, you can kind of move them towards God’s word.

Second thing that you want to do is study. So make sure that you study the whole passage, the whole scripture that it’s not just one or two verses, so as you studied together with the group, refer to other passages that kind of bring more light to the topic than just one or two verses refer.

Refer to a study Bible like the CSB Study Bible that will help shed a little bit more light on the topic that you’re studying.

And then finally, don’t be afraid to ask for help. If there’s a debate in the discussion and you don’t know the answer or you don’t know where to take it, be okay with saying, you know what? We’re going to stop it right here for tonight. I’m going to ask a pastor this week and then we’ll refer back to it in our group meeting next week, and that’s okay to do so. Make sure that you prepare you study, you refer, and then be okay to ask for help.

Chris Surratt is a ministry consultant and coach with more than twenty years of experience serving the local church. Chris served on the Executive Teams at Cross Point Church in Nashville, TN., and Seacoast Church in Charleston, S.C., prior to becoming the Discipleship and Small Groups Specialist for LifeWay Christian Resources. He is the author of  Small Groups for the Rest of Us: How to Design Your Small Groups System to Reach the Fringes. You can follow his blog at www.chrissurratt.com.

Church Leadership, Tuesday Thoughts

Tuesday Thoughts: The 4 D’s – The Drainer

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Ok we’re having a discussion about the EGR’s in your small group. And remember, EGR stands for extra grace required. Those are just people in your group who may take up a little bit more of your time, a little bit more of your patience, and they’re just more difficult to lead than the rest of the members and we also call these the four D’s. I’ve got the Dominator. That’s someone who dominates the conversation. The opposite of the dominator, it’s the Dodger. That’s someone who never enters into the conversation. And then the Debater, somebody who always wants to debate the issues. And then finally, what I want to talk about today is the Drainer. What do you do if you have somebody in your group that always turns it back to themself that never is excited, never has joy. We call them Debbie Downers. What do you do if you have a Debbie Downer in your group?

Well, there’s a few things that you can do that might help this person have more joy, more life, and be a bigger part of the group. The first thing that I would do is meet with that person outside of the group time because you probably don’t know their story and it’s hard for them to really share their story during the group time. So meet with them for coffee or after a service and just ask them to tell you their story and find out what is feeding into what is going on in their life because there might be something that you can help with that you can pray with them about that you don’t even know about. So meet with them outside of the group time.

The second thing that you might want to do is when it comes to the prayer time, that’s usually a time for somebody like this that can kind of turn it always towards their issues, their problems. Especially if you do verbal prayer requests. So instead of doing it verbally, maybe try having people write down their prayer requests on a note card and then either praying silently or sending it out during the week so the group can pray that way.

And then finally there may be somebody in your group who needs professional care. They may have needs or issues that’s beyond the abilities of the group, so make sure that you talk to a pastor, talk to a church staff member about how you can refer them to the help that they need. So if you have a drainer that’s okay. There’s some things you can do to help them and help the group.

Chris Surratt is a ministry consultant and coach with more than twenty years of experience serving the local church. Chris served on the Executive Teams at Cross Point Church in Nashville, TN., and Seacoast Church in Charleston, S.C., prior to becoming the Discipleship and Small Groups Specialist for LifeWay Christian Resources. He is the author of  Small Groups for the Rest of Us: How to Design Your Small Groups System to Reach the Fringes. You can follow his blog at www.chrissurratt.com.
Church Leadership, Group Leadership, Uncategorized

Last Chance to Register for Free Small Groups Webinar

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Hey everyone, my name is Chris Surratt and I am the Small Group and Discipleship Specialist at LifeWay Christian Resources, and author of Small Groups for the Rest of Us, and Gospel-Centered Small Groups. I am super excited to let you know about a small groups webinar that I will be hosting on October 9th, 2018 at 11AM Central. Our panelists: Steve Gladen from Saddleback Church, Heather Zempel from National Community Church, and Bill Willits from North Point Community Church, will be discussing how to have effective small groups in the modern church. At a time when churches are giving up on, or moving away from, offering small groups, how are these three trend-setting churches continuing to produce life-changing and disciple-making groups for not only just church members, but for people outside of the church as well? And, the best part about this webinar? It’s completely free! Just hit the registration link on this video and join us for one hour on Tuesday, October 9th at 11am to learn about producing effective small groups in the modern church.

 

Church Leadership

Tuesday Thoughts: The 4 D’s – The Dodger

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Okay, we’re having a discussion about the EGR’s in your small group. And what does EGR stand for? It stands for extra grace required people. Now these are people in your group who probably take a little bit more of your patience a little bit more of your time and they’re just a little bit more difficult to deal with than the rest of the members of your group. Also refer to these as the four D’s, so you’ve got what we talked about last time. The dominator. That’s just somebody who tends to dominate the conversation, maybe turns the discussion back to themselves during the group time. And then you have the dodger, the debater, and the drainer, and for just a minute, I want to talk today about what do you do if you have the dodger in your small group.

Now the dodger is the opposite of the dominator. Whereas a dominator talks a lot. The dodger tends to not talk at all or very little during the group time. So what do you do? How do you bring them into the conversation? Let me give you four ideas to try during the group time. First of all, you don’t want to force anyone into the conversation before they’re ready. There’s a lot of people that just need some time to feel comfortable with the group before they’re able to kind of share or discuss their ideas in front of everyone and that’s okay. Especially those who are more introverts. Just give them the time to feel comfortable. Give them two or three group meetings before they feel like they have to talk. The second way that you can get people to talk is just have everyone give kind of they’re a three to five minute life story. Most people are okay talking about themselves.

Now the important thing here is that you give them some heads up on this. So if you have somebody that hasn’t entered into the conversation, give them a couple of weeks to prepare so they’re ready with their life story. So just give them about three to five minutes to talk about themselves with the group. The third thing that you might want to do is ask her opinion on something that you know she’s going to feel comfortable answering. So if there’s a question, you’ve looked ahead in the study and you feel like you know what Susan would have an opinion on this, so maybe ask that person directly their opinion on something, that you know they’re going to have an opinion on. And then fourth is to arrange a time outside of the group to kind of get to know that person, get comfortable with them so that they’re comfortable and they have a relationship with somebody in the group before they feel like they have to open up. So just maybe simply meet them for coffee or between services in the lobby. Just something to start that relationship before they have to enter into the conversation with the whole group. So that’s just the things to try if you have a dodger in your small group.

Chris Surratt is a ministry consultant and coach with more than twenty years of experience serving the local church. Chris served on the Executive Teams at Cross Point Church in Nashville, TN., and Seacoast Church in Charleston, S.C., prior to becoming the Discipleship and Small Groups Specialist for LifeWay Christian Resources. He is the author of  Small Groups for the Rest of Us: How to Design Your Small Groups System to Reach the Fringes. You can follow his blog at www.chrissurratt.com.

 

Church Leadership, Uncategorized

Tuesday Thoughts: The 4 D’s – The Dominator

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If you lead a small group, the chances are good that you have at least one of what I call EGR’s. What does that stand for? Just extra grace required. Now those are people in your group that take just a little bit more of your patience, probably a little bit more of your time than everybody else. I still refer to these as the four D’s. See if you recognize any of these in your small group. The first one is the Dominator, then there’s the Dodger, the Debater, and finally the Drainer, and what I want to do for just a minute is talk about what do you do if you have a dominator in your small group. And that’s just somebody who tends to answer more questions and everybody else maybe turns the discussion back to themselves. They may be a seasoned Christian so they feel like they have more answers than everybody else. So what do you do if you have a dominator kind of dominating the conversation? Well, let me give you four things that you might try. The first one is just simply how the room is set up for the discussion of your group. You might try sitting right next to the person that dominates the conversation. There’s something about being that close of proximity to the person who’s answering or asking the questions that maybe slow them down a little bit before they jump into the conversation, so you might try that. Also, maybe make eye contact with other group members when you ask the question, especially those that have been introduced into the discussion yet and kind of with your body language invite them to answer the question before the person who usually jumps in as the dominator. And then you might also bring somebody into the conversation by calling up their name, asking them specifically to answer the question. Make sure that it’s something that there’ll be able to answer, maybe more of an open ended question, but invite them in before the person who dominates is able to jump in and if none of that works, it’s always good to meet outside of the group time. Maybe grab some coffee or meet them in the lobby after church and just sit down and explain the mission and the vision of the small group. So that’s some things that you might try if you have a dominator in your small group.

Chris Surratt is a ministry consultant and coach with more than twenty years of experience serving the local church. Chris served on the Executive Teams at Cross Point Church in Nashville, TN., and Seacoast Church in Charleston, S.C., prior to becoming the Discipleship and Small Groups Specialist for LifeWay Christian Resources. He is the author of Small Groups for the Rest of Us: How to Design Your Small Groups System to Reach the Fringes. You can follow his blog at www.chrissurratt.com.

 

Church Leadership

How to Have Effective Small Groups [Free Webinar]

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I hear from churches and pastors consistently about how small groups no longer work in our modern world. People are too busy for another weekly commitment. Groups organized by the church are too forced for people to connect deeply in community. Yet, we see research telling us that offering healthy small groups will close the back door and help our churches grow.

If all of this is true, the question then is: s it possible to have effective small groups in the modern church? I believe it is, and I will be discussing this topic with three church leaders, who are seeing small groups thrive in their influential churches, during our free webinar on October 9th at 11am CDT. 

Steve Gladen (Saddleback Church), Heather Zempel (National Community Church), and Bill Willits (North Point Community Church) will dig into:

  • Are we really creating disciples through our small groups, or are they just another social group we belong to?
  • How can small groups compete with other church programming?
  • Are small groups just for church members, or can they reach beyond the church building?
  • How much should church leadership try to control small groups?

Webinar attendees will receive a free eBook on small groups, and we’re saving 15 minutes at the end of the webinar for live Q&A. Register now if you’re interested, as space is first come, first serve. Hope to see you there for our discussion on effective small groups in the modern church!

Church Leadership

Now What? Five Things a New Leader Should Do Next

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Stepping out to start a new group can be an intimidating and scary experience. All of us have the same questions starting out: Will anyone show up? Have I invited the right people? Have I picked the right study? How will I disciple everyone in my group? All of these questions are natural and healthy. As you begin this new adventure of group leadership, here are five helpful steps to take next.

1. Find a coach.

Everyone needs a coach. Even the best athletes in the world have coaches who still help them try to be better. The best way for you to progress as a leader is to have a seasoned leader walk alongside you. If your church has not assigned a coach to you, reach out to someone who has been leading longer than you, and ask them if they would be willing to meet with you occasionally and answer questions. Most leaders will be honored that you asked.

2. Be one step ahead.

One of the biggest worries for leaders is not being worthy of leading other people. How can I spiritually lead others when I am still trying to figure out how to lead myself? The truth is, none of us have arrived on our spiritual journey. Our responsibility is to become more like Christ and be willing to take a few people along for the ride.

3. Connect closely with 2-3 people.

Most leaders will not be able to connect on a deeper level with every person in their group, nor should they try to. If you look at the example of Jesus and His small group, He connected intimately with only three disciples. Look for 2-3 same sex members in your group whom you can personally disciple; then, help others in the group do the same.

4. Don’t have all the answers.

It’s okay to not know the common translation of the name “Zephaniah” (“Yahweh has hidden”… in case it comes up). Always be ready to stop an unhealthy debate with, “I don’t know the answer, but I will check with a pastor this week and we can revisit it at our next meeting.” Also, a few discussions will need to be taken outside of the group time. People will respect a leader who is transparent more than one who seems to have all of the answers.

5. Pray weekly for group members.

A leader who prays is a leader who can be followed. Don’t underestimate the power of praying for each group member by name. Prayer sets the stage for life-changing moments to occur through the group meetings, and in the lives of group members.

Chris Surratt is a ministry consultant and coach with more than twenty years of experience serving the local church. Chris served on the Executive Teams at Cross Point Church in Nashville, TN., and Seacoast Church in Charleston, S.C., prior to becoming the Discipleship and Small Groups Specialist for LifeWay Christian Resources. He is the author of Small Groups for the Rest of Us: How to Design Your Small Groups System to Reach the Fringes. You can follow his blog at www.chrissurratt.com.
Church Leadership

Tuesday Thoughts: Being on Mission

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Okay, we’re talking about the three distinctions of a biblical small group, if you remember. The first one is discipleship, so we want to make sure that we are creating disciples in our small group. Second, we want to make sure that we’re building community, that discipleship happens best within the context of community, so we want to schedule it into our group meetings and into our calendar. And then third, what I want to focus on today is mission. How can we make sure that our group is on mission? So I’m gonna give you four things to maybe look at to think about for your group to help your group to start thinking missionally. The first thing you want to do is you want to study it.

Choose study that forces your group to think missionally. Lot of the studies that we do are something that we’re passionate about, so kind of revert back to the same types of topics. So if you’re not naturally, if your group’s not naturally bent towards being on mission, choose a study that forces them to think about serving people outside of themselves. So maybe you go to lifeway.com, look at the balance discipleship plan and choose a steady from the serving God and others category, something that’s about six weeks long and take some time to study what does it look like to be on mission and then number two you want to plan for it.

Choose somebody in your group that will organize something that you can do maybe on a weekend and something that fits the skills of your group. So choose somebody, talk about it, talk about where are we skilled, and then pick a project for your group to start with to start thinking outside of the group. And the number three, it’s pretty obvious, but we want to do it. So actually make it happen. We can study it, we can plan for it, but if we don’t actually go out and do it than it was for nothing. And so make sure you get a good day and time when the entire group can do something. Maybe a weekend, Saturday morning, a couple hours where you can serve alongside another organization and become missional. The number four, and this is important and we forget this part a lot of times, is talk about it. So as soon as possible, maybe the next group meeting after your project, take some time to debrief. How did it go? How did it make you feel? What can we do differently or better next time? Because what we want to do is we want to move the mindset from a project to a lifestyle. So we go from just thinking about how do we do this project to how do we actually live missionally day by day. So study it, plan for it, do it, talk about it, and let’s become missional as a small group.

Chris Surratt is a ministry consultant and coach with over 22 years of experience serving the local church. Chris served on the Executive Team at Cross Point Church in Nashville, TN, and was on staff at Seacoast Church in Charleston, SC, for 15 years. He is also the Small Group Specialist for LifeWay Christian Resources. Chris’s first book, Small Groups For The Rest Of Us: How to Design Your Small Groups System to Reach the Fringes, was just released by Thomas Nelson. You can follow his blog at chrissurratt.com or follow him on Twitter @chrissurratt.