Group Leadership

November 23, 2020

Small Group Leader Self-Care

By Reid Smith

Spiritual leaders must take decisive action to be healthy in order to be prepared to confront the inevitable temptations, personal attacks, potential burnout and other hazards of ministry. These ten recommendations are relevant for all small group leaders and coaches who want to be healthy and effective in ministry for the long-haul.

Read & Reflect on God’s Word Daily

Contend for a daily devotional life. Not only will this secure your healthy growth, but it will ensure the healthy development of biblical community in your group (Psalm 119:105). A small group’s life together will likely only go as deep as the life of its leader. If you do not already have an ongoing devotional life, start small and develop it incrementally. Here’s an interesting fact: Sheep feed on dew that collects on grass very early in the morning and the water these creatures slurp up at dawn satisfies them through the whole sun-scorching day (Psalm 5:3). Give God the first fruit of your time, and find your strength in Him (Psalm 119:114, 147).

Pray Daily

Talk with God and listen for His guidance each day. The more you cultivate a closeness with your Creator, the healthier you will be for your own well-being, your family, and everyone you influence in life. Be mindful of how He is always with you and will never leave you (Deuteronomy 31:8). This will help you to be more conscientious and inclined to communicate with God repeatedly throughout the day rather than it being a ritual that happens just once a day (1 Thessalonians 5:17). Prayer is key to having a growing relationship with the Lord, which is what God wants from us more than anything else.

Invite a Few Trusted Friends to Pray for You

You and your group are a target of the enemy and prayer coverage is an absolute must. Ask a few trusted friends to pray for you and your family regularly, especially those you know are faithful to intercede in prayer for others. Make a point to give them an update and share specific things to pray about at the beginning, middle, and end of each season of your group’s life together. There’s no season in ministry where we don’t need someone to stand in the gap for us.

Replenish Yourself Regularly

Take refuge in Jesus. When you feel like your energy level is beginning to wane, let your co-leader or a friend in your group know. If you’ve already met as a small group for a few seasons, you might let your whole group know. Invite them to pray for you and carry responsibilities that have begun to be taxing on you. Don’t make the small group “your ministry.” Ministry should be mutual and happening among all group members. If it isn’t, instigate change! Get away at times, find rest, and be sure you’re regularly participating in the worship and teaching offered in your weekend service. Honoring the Sabbath each week is just the beginning.

Recognize God’s Work

Remembering what the Lord has done and is doing builds your faith and the faith of those around you. Continually remind yourself of who God is and His promises to stay strong. For example, you can plant and water, but God is the one who makes things grow (1 Cor 3:5-7). You can use my gifts and abilities to build up the Church, but God is the one who is actually building it in such a way that hell itself won’t triumph over it (1 Cor 12:7; Mt 16:18). It is also helpful to recall that God’s Word is fully inspired, living and active and does its work in people as they engage with it (2 Tim 3:16; Heb 4:12). Recognizing how God is already at work within your group is worshipful and helps to develop a more spiritually mature perspective in those around you.

Resist Premature Involvement in Conflict

If someone comes to you with a complaint about another, find out right away if they’ve spoken with the other person first (Matthew 18:15). If they haven’t, redirect them to talk with the person they’re having tension with. If the first condition has been met, do not entertain an accusation made about another individual unless it is brought to you by at least one other, independent source (Matthew 18:16; 2 Corinthians 13:1b).

Draw Appropriate Boundaries

Be available to your group members, but lovingly draw boundaries when necessary. God wants you to be whole just as much as He does others and ultimately self-care is obedience to Him. It’s also okay to set time limits on phone conversations or one-on-one meetings you have with group members; let them know at the outset of your conversation that you have up until a certain time that you’re able to connect with them.

Don’t Meet Alone with the Opposite Sex

Spiritual leaders must avoid every appearance of evil for their sake and for the sake of others (Romans 15:2; 1 Corinthians 10:24, 32-33; 1 Thessalonians 5:22). Wisdom is not putting yourself in a situation where you could stumble (1 Cor. 6:18; 2 Tim 2:22) so if someone of the opposite sex wants to meet outside your group time, let them know your spouse, co-leader or a trusted group member will join you too. This is not about being religious or legalistic—it’s being prudent (Proverbs 27:12).

Don’t Try to Do Everything Yourself

Empower others in your group to help carry the responsibilities that come with leading a small group. Identify a co-leader who can team up with you sooner than later. Begin by giving small tasks that align with their areas of gifting or interest.

Don’t Try to Please Everyone

You’ve undoubtedly heard it said before, and it’s absolutely true: You can’t please everyone! You will become depleted and discouraged if you try. If somebody is not happy with your leadership or the group, talk directly with them about it, pray together, and trust the Holy Spirit with the outcome. Release the person, letting them know it’s okay to agree to disagree and for them to go a different direction. Keep your coach informed of any challenges like this so they can support you and help mediate next steps. Your concern needs to be for the whole group; don’t let one person derail the vision God has given you.

Remember: You’re serving God on behalf of the small group (not the other way around). The Lord wants to grow you through your experience as a leader…not use you up and leave you on empty. Be sure to take care of yourself! Your life and small group leadership will be stronger as a result.

Reid Smith has been equipping leaders in churches of all sizes and stages of growth for effective disciple-making since 1996. He lives in Wellington, Florida where he serves as a Groups Pastor at Christ Fellowship. You can find more of his helpful resources at www.reidsmith.org.

Group Leadership

November 20, 2020

Jesus: The Servant in a Time of Suffering

By Deborah Spooner

Jesus. We know He is the Author and Perfecter of our faith, the King of kings and Lord of lords (Hebrews 12:2; 1 Timothy 6:15). But we can easily lose sight of this awe-striking reality as we go about our daily tasks. This is only increased as we experience seasons of upheaval, uncertainty, waiting, or suffering—a lot like what many are presently experiencing.

How do we remember the profound reality that Christ is the Suffering Servant, obedient to the Father above all else? How can we personally experience this reality and then share this life-giving truth with our groups in transformative ways?

We can start by studying and letting ourselves think more deeply on these realities of Jesus. Then, we can pose questions to ourselves and others.

As a starting point, consider this timely Bible study selection:

The Father declares His pleasure with the Son.

Read Mark 1:9-11.

John the Baptist came preparing the people for the arrival of Jesus. But Jesus would not be the conquering king the people expected; God had sent the Suffering Servant prophesied by Isaiah. The people of Israel needed to understand the humility of their king, but they needed to understand His greatness as well. John confessed that he was not even worthy to untie the sandals of the One coming.

Jesus’ hometown was nothing to brag about, consistent with the circumstances of His birth. Nazareth was a backwater village, the wrong side of the tracks which nothing of notoriety ever came from. Jesus left this remote village of no reputation and was baptized by John to begin His earthly ministry.

But why? We know from John’s message that he was calling everyone everywhere to repentance, and that the sign of repentance was baptism. But Jesus was—and is—the perfect Son of God. He had no need to repent of sin because He was not a sinner. So why be baptized by John?

Jesus’ baptism was, first of all, an issue of obedience to the Father. In the Book of Matthew, we see that John did not want to baptize Jesus because of His greatness. Who was he, John—the forerunner, to baptize Jesus the Messiah? If anyone was baptizing anyone, it should be the other way around. But Jesus explained that His baptism was not for sin, but rather to obey the commands of the prophets. Even from the beginning of His ministry, we see Jesus’ priority was to do exactly what God had sent Him to do.

But there was another reason for Jesus’ baptism. He was baptized to identify with sinners. Though Jesus was not a sinner, He was to be counted among the sinners. By being baptized as sinners were baptized, Jesus associated with those who needed to repent and believe. A few years after this, He would identify in a deeper, more profound way, when He would take the sins of the world on Himself at the cross. He who knew no sin would become sin so that we might be given His righteousness (2 Cor. 5:21).

So Jesus, the perfect Son of God, went down into the water and came back up. It was a shadow of what was to come. Jesus would go down into death as the sacrifice for sin and come back up, raised to new life never again to die.

Jesus identified with sinners in obedience to the will and plan of His Father, and His Father expressed His pleasure. The text tells us that immediately the heavens were torn open and the Spirit descended on Jesus like a dove. And the Father pronounced His approval: “You are my beloved Son; with you I am well-pleased” (Mark 1:11).

This same pronouncement that was given to Jesus because of His perfect obedience is credited to us because of that same obedience. When we believe in Jesus, His perfect righteousness is credited to our account, and we are positioned as the children of God.

How amazing to hear this from on high. How amazing to be adopted into God’s family, co-heirs with Christ. How amazing to be counted righteous in Christ. How amazing to know that God has not made a mistake when He formed us and when He called us into His family. How amazing to hear, because of the gospel, “This is My beloved Son in whom I am well pleased!”

Why is it important to remember that Jesus’ priority was obedience to the Father, especially as you walk through seasons of suffering?

What practical difference does it make to you, as a Christian, to know that your Father in heaven is pleased with you?

The above content is excerpted and added to from the Gospel Foundations series, Volume 5: God With Us – The Gospels. Find out more about this Bible study which studies the life of Jesus here or learn more about the entire series here.

Church Leadership, Group Leadership, Uncategorized

November 10, 2020

Six Reasons I’m Using the New Daily Discipleship Guide in My Group

By Ken Braddy

My wife and I recently launched a new Bible study group at our church. Almost a dozen adults gathered for the first meeting of this fledgling group! Since then we have grown to over 30 group members with an average attendance of 15.

When we were talking about starting this new group, we made a decision to use the Daily Discipleship Guide (DDG) from the Bible Studies for Life series produced by LifeWay. Why choose the Daily Discipleship guide? Here are six reasons I launched my new group with it as our primary discipleship tool:

It is discussion-centered. I love the five great discussion questions that are a part of this series. Every study begins with a tremendous icebreaker question—one that gets the group talking, and one with no wrong answer (which encourages everyone to speak up more during the study and take a chance on answering the other questions that are asked). Plus, I don’t want the Bible study to be about me and what I say or do—I want the Bible study to be about what the group does, says, and thinks. Of course I study and prepare, and I fully guide my group’s study, but I don’t have to do all the talking.
It engages the group members during the Bible study. The DDG has engaging images, in-group activities, and fill-in-the-blanks that engage logical, visual, physical, and relational learners.
It provides five daily studies that tie to the group’s study. This is my favorite new feature in this resource! Once I lead the group’s Bible study, my group members have an opportunity to dig a little deeper in the days that follow. After the group Bible study ends, there are several pages that include daily Bible studies connecting to the biblical text we studied together as a group. Our group studies now align with my group member’s “God and me” time during the week. The daily studies expand on and reinforce what we studied as a group.
The six-session studies are compelling and engaging. I don’t have to create new Bible studies every week on my own. I love the way LifeWay’s experts have carefully crafted each study along with the teaching resources I need to deliver a quality Bible study every week. The topics hit adults where they live and engage them in Bible study.
The teaching plan is a part of the DDG. The group plan is built into the back of each Daily Discipleship Guide. Everyone in the group is now a potential teacher, substitute, or apprentice teacher. Savvy group leaders will identify a person or two with potential to be future group leaders (or subs and apprentices right now) to follow along in the group plan section, watching to see how the leader uses the teaching plan ideas in the group. I want these individuals to see that they could follow the same teaching plan to teach our group or a group of their own. The goal is for them to say, “Since I have the same teaching plan my leader does, I could do this!”
The Bible Studies for Life series is based around the eight signposts of discipleship. Research has demonstrated there are eight signposts, or indicators, that people are on the right pathway and are growing as disciples. Every year, Bible Studies for Life has eight six-session studies. Each of the 8 studies is centered around one of the eight signposts of discipleship. If I simply continue using Bible Studies for Life in my group, I will expose my group members to the core ways that God’s people grow and mature as disciples. That’s huge!

I’m proud to place this excellent resource in the hands of every group member and our guests. If you want to have free access to four sessions of the Daily Discipleship Guide, click here.

Other than serving as the manager for LifeWay’s ongoing adult Bible studies and as the Director of Sunday School, Ken is an 18-year church education staff leader and blogs regularly about Sunday School and groups ministry at kenbraddy.com.

Group Leadership

November 9, 2020

Ten Ways to Welcome Seekers into Your Group

By Group Ministry

By Reid Smith

The best groups are high in health and impact for God’s Kingdom. For both to be true, a small group leader must be prepared to welcome people into their group’s life regardless of where they are at in their commitment to Christ and His Church. We reflect the beauty and greatness of our God when we accept one another just as Christ accepted us (Romans 15:7).

The more small group leaders know how to welcome and encourage people who are seeking truth and reaching out to God (whether they realize it or not) the more effective they will be with engaging them with the gospel in transformational ways. To that end, here’s ten recommendations for how you can welcome spiritual seekers, build relationships with them, and inspire everyone to grow in their relationship with Jesus!

Don’t assume. Consider newcomers as seekers until you learn otherwise. Believers who are new to a Christian gathering tend to convey something about their faith/church commitment up front. If they do not, chances are they either do not have a relationship with God or may not have a strong one. It’s important to avoid making assumptions about what your guests believe. Rather, look for ways to affirm the truth God has already started to impart to them as Paul did in Athens (Acts 17:22-23, 28-29).
Be a connector. Warmly introduce seekers into your small group and connect them with a few people as they come in, helping them to strike up conversations before your study begins. If possible, learn a little about them before they show up to their first meeting as this will help you to introduce them to others in a more personal way. Do your best to remember facts they share about who they are, their family and friends, and how they found your group. Use what you know about them to ignite conversations with other group members. The likelihood of seekers returning increases by at least 50% if they experience a sense of belonging through connection with others.
Empower them. Find out what subjects your truth-seeking guests have an enthusiasm or expertise in and talk about that! People like to talk about things they know about. Seekers will feel more empowered and comfortable talking about things of interest to them. If you listen with interest, you will show that you are interested in them as people and they won’t feel like a project.
Introduce your group. Take a minute on the front end to say what your small group is about and invite input from others so that guests can get exposure to some of the other personalities present. In a small group situation, most people prefer to get a good feel of the dynamic before jumping into the discussion. The more free people feel to participate, the more likely it is they will return.
Include and affirm. Prioritize seekers in your small group time by making it a goal to help them feel safe and a valued part of the gathering. Look for ways to include them socially and affirm any contribution they make to the conversation. One of the simplest ways of helping a newcomer feel ‘at home’ in your small group is to repeatedly call them by their first name. Express appreciation for their input. When seekers say something that does not harmonize with Scripture, don’t be surprised or correct them. Rather, be positive and say something like, “Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us!” Discipleship happens through trust-filled relationships that develop over time.
Break it down. Use relational terms to explain theological concepts in your Bible study. For example, salvation is having a relationship with Christ or being friends with God now and forever. Redemption is Jesus helping us to connect with God and know Him. Do your best to stay away from Christian jargon.
Don’t over-accommodate. Most newcomers like to be acknowledged but may not like to stand out or be spotlighted in front of a group…so don’t focus on them. If you keep things normal, your small group will feel more natural and comfortable to them. You can be sensitive to your small group’s form without changing its function. Be yourself and allow the group to be itself. Don’t hesitate to pray or worship in your group if seekers are present. Sometimes this is exactly what God uses to gather lost people to Himself (see Acts 2:46-47.) If somebody needs prayer, pray for them. If you are planning to worship, just do it. Don’t attempt to explain it for seekers. They likely want to see things how they really are and would rather not have you disrupt the flow of what you do on their account.
Talk about being difference makers. Healthy groups have regular conversations about how they can be Jesus’ hands and feet and impact our world with His love and message. Don’t miss the opportunity to demonstrate to seekers in your midst that you genuinely want to show God’s love to people and make a difference in your community. Have that conversation spontaneously or just say you would like to talk about it next time. This allows you to revisit your group’s commitment to evangelism and shows spiritual seekers that your group is…
- Outward-thinking and it’s not all about those in your small group—this actually helps guests feel safer because it makes the communal nature of your group feel less cultic and more caring.
- Serious about making a commitment to share God’s love and grace to a waiting world. People want their lives to make a positive impact on others. This helps them to see that your small group can help toward this goal, making group time a worthwhile investment of their time.
Have a soft landing and end on a high note. When you have truth-seeking guests, leave plenty of time for people to socialize at the tail end of your group. Newcomers tend to be interested in being more personal toward the end of a group than the beginning. This will give time to connect your small group members to guests further and have fun and relaxed conversations. Also, studies show that when something ends positively the entire experience becomes a good memory for people, and one they are more apt to repeat. In private, let newcomers know how much you appreciated them coming and that you really hope you get to see them again!
Don’t hesitate to follow-up. Let your guests know you hope to see them again! If a seeker came with somebody, encourage their friend to welcome them back. Sometimes small group leaders hold off from following up in this way because they are afraid of being intrusive or coming across as pushy. Most guests appreciate this act of kindness and it makes your small group more inviting overall. If you do not risk the remote possibility of coming across as intrusive in your follow-up, newcomers may feel like they are intruding. Revisit prayer needs when you follow-up with them by naturally weaving them into your conversation. This shows you were listening and that you care.

You want group members to have more than permission to invite their friends…let them know you WANT them to invite their friends. This attitude is one of the greatest contributing factors to a small group making an evangelistic impact. Small groups can and should always serve to encourage personal outreach.

A small group that has an open home, open hearts, and open hands is a group that is replete with life-giving possibilities. By following the ten recommendations above, you will create an environment where the hospitality of biblical community will receive and reach many spiritual seekers for Jesus Christ!

Group Leadership

November 5, 2020

Three Guidelines for Talking About the Election in Your Group

By Group Ministry

By Will Johnston

I once convinced someone to switch to my political party by berating their beliefs and saying that they must be stupid if they didn’t come around to my way of thinking.

Find that hard to believe?

Me too. It didn’t happen. I’ve actually never seen that strategy work, although that doesn’t seem to stop people from trying it out.

There’s a good chance that your small group members don’t all agree on politics. Even if you think they do, they might not actually. I’ve got friends who are tight-lipped about their politics because they live in an area where their livelihoods would be impacted if they were too open.

Things are crazy right now. We’re all a little unsettled. We’re not sure what direction our country is going or how this election season is going to play out.

You’ve probably heard the old adage to avoid discussing religion and politics in polite company, but small group isn’t polite company. At it’s best, it’s the people we can be the most real with, and politics has a real impact on our lives. It matters, and if it matters, then it’s fair game for groups.

That doesn’t mean every group needs to discuss politics, but you should be ready in case it comes up. Here are three simple guidelines to keep your group discussion from going the way of the comments on nearly every Facebook post about politics.

Focus on “I” rather than “you” or “they.”

Keep the conversation focused on who each person supports, why they support them, and even why they don’t support the other person. For example:

“I supported Donald Trump because I think he has the best plan for XYZ.”
“I voted for Joe Biden because I believe he better reflects ABC.”
“My concern about Trump/Biden is that he DEF, and I think that reveals some character issues.”
“I understand why you would vote for Trump/Biden because of his position on HIJ, but I think XYZ is a higher priority, so that’s why I voted for Biden/Trump.

What we want to avoid are statements that disparage the other person or their positions and shut down discussion. For example:

“I just don’t see how a Christian could support Donald Trump/Joe Biden. He’s for XYZ!”
“All Christians should support Donald Trump/Joe Biden because ABC!”
“Democrats/Republicans are for DEF, and that’s just plain ungodly.”
“Jesus cares about HIJ, so Christians should support Democrats/Republicans.”

Do you see the difference there? The first set of statements expresses what I think and why I think it. The second set of statements tells everyone else that they have to agree with me.

Jesus called us to unity, not to a political party.

I do not ask for these only, but also for those who will believe in me through their word, that they may all be Republicans, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me.

I love those words from Jesus, praying that we would all be Republicans so that the world may believe. Or wait… was it Democrats? Did Jesus pray we would be Democrats?

Look, I think politics is important. I used to work on Capitol Hill. I truly believe that it matters. But ultimately, Jesus called me to follow Him, and he called me to unity with other followers, even the ones I disagree with politically.

At the end of the day, the world will see there’s something different about us when we can love people with whom we disagree because of the love of Jesus.

Pray.

I probably should have started with “pray,” but the truth is we may not be able to open every discussion on politics that happens in our group with prayer. Regardless, we can pray for our group’s unity ahead of time, just like Jesus prayed for the Church’s unity.

And when a political conversation starts up in our groups, we can pray silently that the words of our group members would be infused with love. We can pray that those nervous to share their thoughts would have the courage to do so, and that those who are outspoken would have the love and humility required to listen.

And sometimes, if a political discussion looks like it might heat up too much, you just might need to stop everyone, pray, and lay out some ground rules for the discussion. Feel free to use points one and two above.

Will Johnston is the Director of Build Community at Eastside Community Church in Anaheim, California. Will graduated from Wheaton College with a degree in theology, did a two-and-a-half year stint on Capitol Hill, and then joined the staff of National Community Church in Washington D.C., where he oversaw small groups.

Group Leadership

November 2, 2020

Avoiding Pitfalls in Group Dynamics

By Group Ministry

By Reid Smith

Community is messy business! Having differences in a small group, acknowledging disappointments and hurt feelings, and running up against frustrations and challenges are all part of moving to deeper maturity in community and Christlikeness. In fact, conflict can be the very thing that helps your group to break through to new levels of honesty and freedom in Christ.

When you trace Christ’s interactions with the Pharisees, His reaction at the Temple with the money changers, and some exchanges with the disciples, it becomes clear that Jesus did not avoid conflict. The New Testament does not gloss over the reality of conflict in community. However, God’s Word makes a difference between constructive conflict and pitfalls like senseless quarreling (Prov 20:3; Rom 14:19; Eph 4:25-32; 2 Tim 2:23-24).

There will be a mixture of personalities and gifts that will surface in your small group. Sometimes the dynamic that is created will function as a conduit of God’s healing love and peace. Other times, people will feel friction as fellow believers challenge them to turn from complacency and sin and move toward complete commitment to Jesus Christ. Both of these scenarios are great, and we should pray for them to occur. However, there will be times when conflict and confusion arise because of ignorance, insensitivity, or quarreling over petty issues, etc.

Let’s take a look at some of the more common pitfalls and how to avoid them so that your small group can be a safe place where grace reigns and authentic biblical community can grow.

Don’t Tolerate Bickering Over Trivial Issues

Don’t allow abstract theological arguments to ensue over technical points of doctrine or trivial matters (1 Tim 1:3-7, 6:3-5; 2 Tim 2:23; Titus 3:9). This doesn’t help to build a healthy small group dynamic and it’s a turnoff to those just getting started in their relationship with God. You can ask those who tend to enjoy this to debate outside of your regular group time. Intellectualism is a good thing and can enrich your small group. However, unless it is coupled with “why” and “how” application questions, it is not beneficial in a mixed group dynamic. Promote safety and err toward discussion over debate. Maintain the highest level of awareness toward those with the lowest level of biblical literacy.

Beware the “Introversion and Argumentation Correlation”

Petty conflict frequently signals that your small group has turned in on itself. For example, if your group is more concerned with the signs and times of the end of the world then with bringing in the harvest before Jesus returns, there’s a good chance your group has gotten off track. At times you will need to dredge the bottom of your small group’s stream so it can flow again by turning the focus of people away from themselves. The best way to do this is to engage in outreach together.

What if someone begins promoting false theology?

There is a difference between someone saying something that happens to be erroneous (most of the times this is the case) and someone who is actually promoting false theology. If a person is doing the latter, address it head-on (1 Tim 1:18-19; 2 Tim 3:16-17; Titus 1:9, 2:1; Jude 1:3-4). The Bible is the Word of God (Gal 1:11-12; 2 Tim 3:14-17; 2 Pet 1:20-21, 3:15-16). For this reason, the Scriptures need to be the standard of truth in all of your small group discussions. It’s important you show love and grace in how you do this. Here are some pointers for dealing with biblical misinterpretations or false theology that’s shared aloud in your small group:

Ask the person to clarify what they’re really saying—you might even restate it for them: “Are you saying that….am I hearing you correctly?”
Ask them to show you scriptural support for what they’re saying. Oftentimes, this will bring a halt to it. If they try to justify their position, invite your co-leader or other trusted group members into the conversation by asking them, “What do you think about this?”
Gently but firmly express the truth and if possible support what you share with a biblical reference and bring closure to the matter—don’t let the individual’s misunderstanding derail the whole meeting. If they are in fact promoting something other than the truth—connect with them privately outside of your group time and be direct in asking them not to do it again. If they’re contentious, contact your coach for support.

Encourage “I” Statements vs. “You” Statements

When restating what a person is saying or when handling conflict, begin by saying, “What I hear you saying is…” or “What I think you are saying is…” Then ask them if you’re accurate. This encourages understanding instead of frustration which can result when someone uses “You” statements (e.g. “You said…” or “You always make me feel…”) “I” statements communicate that what you are hearing the person say is your perception of what has been spoken, not necessarily what has been said (or what the person intended to say). This will help the person who is speaking to know they’ve been understood or misunderstood while fostering a sense of acceptance. Restating the speaker’s comments with “I” statements shows that you are genuinely trying to understand what the person is saying without judgment or accusation. “I” statements also help to express more personal feelings about what the other shared.

What if the group continues to get off topic?

Multi-person discussions naturally meander. Don’t be too rigid. Try to keep the balance between keeping a focus and giving the focus some wiggle room. By way of analogy: a sailor doesn’t hold on tightly to the rope locking the sail in a single position. This actually gets the boat to the destination slower than if one held on loosely to the rope letting the sail fully catch the shifting winds. Every small group has its own pace and rhythm based on its unique chemistry—discern your group’s chemical make-up and steer the study and discussion accordingly. These pointers might help with a group which seems to continually get off topic:

Preview your small group’s upcoming study material and assume you’ll only be able to cover HALF of the questions presented. Ask yourself: “Which half of these questions will work best for my group?” This “cleans up” the dynamic of your small group’s study and discussion time, bringing more focus onto the topic.
Outline what you want to do from the outset of your time together. Avoid sharing as if it’s an agenda. Set a goal for your small group. For example, “In this meeting, let’s explore…” or “What I hope you’ll walk away with by the end of our meeting is…”
Discern a pattern. Does your small group tend to get off topic at generally the same time of each meeting? Does something trigger your getting off topic (maybe it’s an individual, how questions are phrased, or maybe it’s the study itself!)?
Ask the group if they’re happy with the study you’re doing. When a group continually gets off topic it might be a signal it’s time to abandon the particular study you’re doing. That’s okay to do! People might just be bored or disinterested with it. Dialogue together about this. Check in from time to time with your small group and ask them if the study you’re working through is working for them.
Try to link “wandering talk” back to the topic at hand. Look for opportunities to jump in, graciously segue, and take hold of the steering wheel again. You don’t have to bring an abrupt halt to aimless chatter—look for the right moment when you can gracefully harness it and relate it to your small group’s study focus.
Invite your coach to attend a meeting. They have a different vantage point than you and may see something you don’t that provides insight.
Ask other trusted small group members to help the study stay on track.

Avoid pitfalls, not conflict itself. Conflict avoidance has a paradoxical way of decimating relationships and destabilizing the development of biblical community. Rather, keep the main things the main things in your small group’s spiritual conversations. Encourage personal maturity and the missional application of God’s truth. Listen to the unique undertones of your small group dynamic, seek first to understand, and be flexible with how your journey together plays out. The same One who began a good work in you and will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus will do the same for your small group (Php 1:6).

Group Leadership

October 26, 2020

How Video Teaching Can Help Your Group

By Deborah Spooner

Even as our world seems incredibly divisive and the future seems ever more uncertain, this remains certain: ministry cannot stop.

Pastors, small group leaders, and disciple makers of all kinds feel the strain. Months into an “unprecedented time,” we can exhaust the endless need for creativity to meet the current discipleship needs. We can grow weary of continuing to lead well as tension is high, disagreement is higher, and our groups seem to be so different than just one year ago.

In these moments, we can lean on the body of Christ to find encouragement, fresh creativity, and new solutions to meet our varied small group needs. One of our favorites? Burden-lifting video teaching.

What is video teaching?

Our LifeWay video teaching is 10 – 30 minute Bible teaching sessions from trusted Christian voices. Made to complement Bible study print editions and eBooks, we offer as wide a selection of video teaching as we do traditional studies. These videos can be done alongside the Bible study or used as a discussion starter on their own.

You’ll hear about difference making from Gregg Matte, purpose from Tony Evans, doubt from Barnabas Piper, racial reconciliation from many voices, the book of James from Matt Chandler, and so much more.

How can video teaching help your group?

Less Leader Stress

Relieve your leadership burden by leaning on other trusted leaders. By picking a specific topic or finding a particular author, you can let the biblical wisdom of another provide spiritual insight and temporarily alleviate your preparation work. These videos will help with the teaching time of your small group and let you focus on additional group needs during this season.

More Flexibility

You might only need to fill two weeks before you launch into your group’s next focus. Video options let you do this. Or, maybe you want to fill a 6 – 8 week time slot. Videos let you do this. From the wide variety of topics and authors, you can find seasonally relevant videos, teaching specific to cultural moments, and classic teaching that easily adapts to your group’s needs.

Easier Access

Our videos are easy to access. Through a simple click and purchase, you’ll be able to use the teaching videos. These can be screen-shared via a virtual meeting platform, or they can be played during an in person group gathering.

Personalization

Even if video teaching isn’t the preferred option for your group, one of your group members or a smaller discipleship group within your group may ask you for resources on a particular topic. You can search our video teaching to find particular videos that can be a ministry resource to help meet their needs.

We’re in this together, here to help and support you in all the ways we can—one step (or video) at a time.

Group Leadership

October 23, 2020

Custom Church Resources

By Group Ministry

By Tyler Quillet

I speak with pastors and church leaders about their small groups weekly. I keep up with groups on social media focused on small group ministries. I have small group inquiries thrown my way almost daily. I know what you’re thinking: What are these people talking about, discussing, and doing when it comes to their groups ministry? I’m glad you asked.

Far and away, what I hear more than anything is, “What do you know about sermon-based Bible studies? What are other churches doing when it comes to sermon-based studies? Would this be a good option for us?” When thinking through these questions, it’s important to recognize that what works for one church may not be successful for another. You need to know your church family and prayerfully decide how to lead your groups ministry.

That said, sermon-based groups are a great option to consider. For those who use sermon-based studies, the alignment allows individuals and families to focus on the same text and topic in the sermon, small group, individual study, and family devotions throughout the week.

However, many leaders are confronted by the question, Who has the time to write sermon-based resources for adults, students, and children? Most church leaders simply don’t have the time in their week. That’s where LifeWay’s Custom Church Resources team comes in. We create Biblical solutions for the specific calling and context of your church. Whether this be sermon-based, a long-term discipleship plan, a simple short-term series, daily devotions, or more, we create based on your specific needs.

Our team can take your sermon text, topic, or even your full manuscript to create curriculum for your groups that aligns with your sermon. We create studies based on your needs and in a way that reflects the culture and context of your church. This may include heavy teaching content for a traditional Sunday school class, a shorter facilitator guide for a typical small group setting, or some simple questions to help keep your group discussion moving. Whatever your needs, we’ll incorporate your language and your church’s style guide to make your studies look, feel, and sound as if they came out of your church office.

Take a look at www.customchurchresources.com to see the many ways our team can serve you and your church family. On our site, you can view many sermon-based samples and click the “Get Started” button to set up a time to connect. We’ll answer your questions, share with you how we can serve you in this partnership, and discuss what next steps might look like.

What are pastors saying about Custom Church Resources?

“We can do what we’re supposed to do here every day in serving this church and being a part of the ministry here and meeting the needs of the people without having to spend hours in the office doing something that we’re not really used to doing. So, handing it over to a trusted expert who can take it and put it together for us, and we know it’s gonna be good, we know it’s gonna be theologically correct, and we know there’s not going to be surprises. It’s been fantastic. It’s been really good.”

Jim Herndon

Small Groups Pastor, Second Baytown Church

Baytown, TX

“I have been so happy and surprised at how beautiful the partnership is, and how great the collaboration is. I really feel like we have an added member to our team that’s not in-house. It’s incredibly affordable for a church our size….Not only are they helping with the application of the truth, but they are helping me think of ways I could even teach the truth.”

Barrett Bowden

Lead Pastor, Island Community Church

Memphis, TN

Have you been writing your own guides but feel like you don’t have the time, the content has become stale, or the responsibility has become overwhelming? Let Custom Church Resources take that burden from you, learn your church’s DNA, and write your group studies for the specific calling and context of your church. Set up an appointment today. I look forward to hearing from you!

Tyler Quillet is the discipleship strategist for the Custom Church Resources team at LifeWay Christian Resources. He lives in the Nashville, TN area with his incredible wife, Cathie, and two boys, Cylas and Bowen. Tyler also speaks, writes, and coaches alongside Cathie as they pour into and love on those battling infertility through Cathie’s “The Quillet Institute.” Tyler previously spent 15 years as a pastor and is passionate about serving churches and pouring into church leaders in a variety of ways.

Group Leadership

October 19, 2020

10 Ways to be a Great Small Group Member

By Chris Surratt

If you do a quick Google search on “How to be a Great Small Group Leader,” you will find a treasure trove of articles—several of them written by me. But what about being a great small group member? After all, it’s hard to feel like a successful leader without faithful followers.

Leading a group is not easy. I have personally led a group for over 20 years, and there are countless Tuesday nights when I have felt like a complete failure.

Several people were late to the group or just didn’t show up. The discussion felt like it didn’t go anywhere. Prayer time turned into gossip hour, and the list goes on.

I can always work to be a better leader, but there are also many ways a group member can help the leader and the rest of the group have a better experience. Here are 10 of them.

1. BE ON TIME (BUT NOT TOO EARLY).

It can be really frustrating when group members are consistently late to the meetings. Especially if they are responsible for bringing food, or if the discussion flow is interrupted by their late arrival.

On the other hand, it’s also hard on the leaders and group hosts if members arrive too early. There are always last-minute preparations taking place for the meeting or a needed few moments of rest before everyone shows up.

Being on time, but not too early, helps start the meeting in the right direction.

2. LOOK ENGAGED IN THE DISCUSSION.

Speaking in front of a group is one of the most intimidating things in life for a lot of people. It’s especially difficult if the people in the room seem disengaged in the discussion. When I am leading a group, I always look for the people looking back for encouragement.

One of the best ways you can help your group leader out is to be fully present in the moment. Don’t constantly check your phone for the latest scores or stare out a window the whole time. Occasionally give visual cues, like a nod of the head, that you are fully engaged in the conversation.

3. BE THE FIRST TO ANSWER A QUESTION (BUT NOT EVERY TIME).

A big part of being engaged in the meeting is answering questions during the Bible study. When the leader tosses out a question, the silence that follows can be super uncomfortable. It’s always a relief when someone steps in to answer the question or offer an opinion. That answer may also be the catalyst that gets more people talking.

However, it’s important to not be the first person to answer every question so that more people have the opportunity to jump in with their thoughts. An over-talker will dissuade a lot of people from answering.

4. BE THE FIRST TO OFFER TO READ SCRIPTURE.

Just like it’s awkward when no one answers a question right away, it’s the same when no one volunteers to read the Scripture passage. Most of us have the Bible on our phones now, so be that person who volunteers quickly. Treat it like a “sword drill” in Sunday School—fastest one to the passage wins a prize!

5. HELP HEAD OFF RABBIT TRAILS AND GOSSIP.

Some rabbit trails are inevitable in a discussion. The trick is getting it back on topic before the whole meeting is off the rails. Instead of waiting for the group leader to have to step in and bring everyone back, offer a helpful comment that gets the discussion back in the right direction.

The prayer time can also easily slip into gossip if we’re not careful. Help the group leader out by not going there yourself, and also help others see when it’s starting to take place. The leader hates always having to be the “bad guy” in those situations.

6. OFFER TO ORGANIZE THE NEXT GROUP OUTING.

Planning and preparing for normal group meetings is a big job in and of itself. There’s prepping for the Bible study, making sure everyone has the details for the meeting, cleaning the house, preparing food options, and many other varied details that help make it a great experience for group members.

One way to take some of the load off of the leader is by offering to organize a fun outing or a mission opportunity for the group to participate in. This can be a monthly or quarterly event. The leader will appreciate the initiative, and the group will be better for it.

7. OCCASIONALLY HOST THE GROUP MEETING.

Now that we understand how much work it is to host a group every week, it would be a big relief for someone to offer to take that responsibility occasionally. It’s also nice for the group to meet in a different environment. A new location can lead to a different perspective.

8. GO HOME ON TIME.

As a group leader, it’s always great to see the group engaged in discussions before and after the official meeting time. A lot of the time, the life-changing conversations happen outside of the group meeting. However, there has to be respect for the host’s personal time. The conversation may need to continue at a local coffee shop so the host family can go to bed.

9. PRAY FOR YOUR GROUP LEADER(S).

Stepping up to lead a group is no small task. Group leaders are asked to spiritually shepherd the people in their care. This responsibility comes with a lot of weight. Satan loves to attack those who are helping pull people out of darkness and into the light.

Group leaders also have the same struggles and stress that we all do. Consistent prayer is not only appreciated, but much needed. Remember that they are also praying for you.

10. OFFER TO START A NEW GROUP.

The only way we are going to fulfill Jesus’ Great Commission of making disciples is by starting new groups for new people. I know how hard it can be to step out of a successful group for something new, but the time is short, and the harvest is plentiful. We need new disciple makers to carry on the work that Jesus started.

Every small group needs great leaders and great members. Together, we can change the world with the message of the gospel through biblical community!

This article first appeared at lifewayvoices.com.

CHRIS SURRATT (@ChrisSurratt) is the discipleship and small groups specialist for LifeWay Christian Resources, a ministry consultant and coach with more than 20 years of experience, and the author of Leading Small Groups: How to Gather, Launch, Lead, and Multiply Your Small Group.

Group Leadership

October 16, 2020

Five Bible Studies for Fall

By Deborah Spooner

We need the Word of God. One way we learn about the Bible is through trusted Christian leaders who have spent years studying the Scriptures. To resource you in this way, LifeWay features many Bible studies made in partnership with thought leaders such as Tony Evans, Derwin Gray, Vance Pitman, and more.

As you search for a Bible study for your group or for your own personal development this fall, consider the timely and insightful options below:

1. The Life of a Jesus Follower

Does Christianity ever seem like a burden to you? Following Jesus is not just about obedience. It’s all about relationships! It is a daily, intimate relationship with the Father overflowing into fellowship with other believers. And that moves us to cultivate relationships with others who don’t know Jesus and share Christ with them. This Bible study will help you rise above the exhausting and burdensome rules of religion and return to the simplicity and purity of following Christ. (8 sessions)

2. The Church and The Racial Divide

In light of racial tension in America, many Christian leaders are talking earnestly about racial reconciliation. The average Christian may not fully understand why racial reconciliation is a gospel imperative. And the average pastor may not know how to pursue it. This Bible study features a multi-voice video series from evangelical leaders that sheds light on issues of race, culture, and the gospel, and equips small groups to take action. (6 sessions)

3. The Good Life

Everyone wants to be happy. We spend our money, time, and energy chasing our version of the good life. And on the way, we run ourselves into physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion. But what if the happiness we’re all striving for isn’t the happiness we were created for? Pastor and author Dr. Derwin L. Gray believes there is a better road to happiness, and it is found in the Beatitudes of Jesus. In this section of the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus revealed the shocking, countercultural path to true flourishing. It comes not through wealth, fame, or laughter but through poverty, obscurity, and mourning. (8 sessions)

4. The Prodigal Son

At some point we have all asked, “Is following Jesus really worth it?” But why are we so tempted by the allure of a life outside God’s design? Thankfully, Jesus addressed this question through the well-known parable of the Prodigal Son from the gospel of Luke. This Bible study walks through the parable verse by verse, showing us what it means to follow God and walk with Him in a relationship of love and commitment, and ultimately illustrating that the best life is found in the love of our Father. (8 sessions)

5. Pathways

The story of Esther appears to be a series of coincidences that deliver the Jews from certain death. However, God selected Esther for a particular purpose at a particular time in the history of His chosen people. These resources will help you discover the power of God’s providence in the midst of your personal pain, fear, gain, loss, and love. You’ll see that God has a purpose for your life, and He uses every action and event that occurs in it to make that purpose a reality. (8 sessions)

Six Reasons I’m Using the New Daily Discipleship Guide in My Group

How Video Teaching Can Help Your Group

Custom Church Resources

Five Bible Studies for Fall

All Ministry Sites

Digital Resources

LifeWay Network