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Church Leadership, Tuesday Thoughts

Tuesday Thoughts: The 4 D’s – The Drainer

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Ok we’re having a discussion about the EGR’s in your small group. And remember, EGR stands for extra grace required. Those are just people in your group who may take up a little bit more of your time, a little bit more of your patience, and they’re just more difficult to lead than the rest of the members and we also call these the four D’s. I’ve got the Dominator. That’s someone who dominates the conversation. The opposite of the dominator, it’s the Dodger. That’s someone who never enters into the conversation. And then the Debater, somebody who always wants to debate the issues. And then finally, what I want to talk about today is the Drainer. What do you do if you have somebody in your group that always turns it back to themself that never is excited, never has joy. We call them Debbie Downers. What do you do if you have a Debbie Downer in your group?

Well, there’s a few things that you can do that might help this person have more joy, more life, and be a bigger part of the group. The first thing that I would do is meet with that person outside of the group time because you probably don’t know their story and it’s hard for them to really share their story during the group time. So meet with them for coffee or after a service and just ask them to tell you their story and find out what is feeding into what is going on in their life because there might be something that you can help with that you can pray with them about that you don’t even know about. So meet with them outside of the group time.

The second thing that you might want to do is when it comes to the prayer time, that’s usually a time for somebody like this that can kind of turn it always towards their issues, their problems. Especially if you do verbal prayer requests. So instead of doing it verbally, maybe try having people write down their prayer requests on a note card and then either praying silently or sending it out during the week so the group can pray that way.

And then finally there may be somebody in your group who needs professional care. They may have needs or issues that’s beyond the abilities of the group, so make sure that you talk to a pastor, talk to a church staff member about how you can refer them to the help that they need. So if you have a drainer that’s okay. There’s some things you can do to help them and help the group.

Chris Surratt is a ministry consultant and coach with more than twenty years of experience serving the local church. Chris served on the Executive Teams at Cross Point Church in Nashville, TN., and Seacoast Church in Charleston, S.C., prior to becoming the Discipleship and Small Groups Specialist for LifeWay Christian Resources. He is the author of  Small Groups for the Rest of Us: How to Design Your Small Groups System to Reach the Fringes. You can follow his blog at www.chrissurratt.com.
Tuesday Thoughts

Tuesday Thought: Ensuring Community in Your Group

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Okay, we’ve talked about the three distinctions of a biblical small group. Number one, are we creating disciples in our small group? Number two, are we experiencing community because we know that discipleship happens best within the context of community? Then number three is our small group on mission? Are we making a difference in the world that we find ourselves in and so today I want to focus on community. How do we ensure that community is happening with our small group? I think we have to be intentional in two ways. The first one is in our schedule with our group meeting. So as you schedule out your actual meeting, you want to look at the different segments and the first part of the group you want to make sure you have time set aside for community. So about 20 to 25 minutes of just hanging out, getting to know each other, maybe have a snack or dinner food of some sort. Just to give the group the chance to have community at the beginning of the group time.

And then after that you’re going to have your study, which is going to be about 40 to 45 minutes, but then you want to set aside the end of the group time, another 20 to 25 minutes for more community building. And a lot of times this is when the best conversations are going to happen. So someone who didn’t want to speak up during the Bible study might find somebody during this last segment when you’re having dessert, just hanging out to ask that critical question that leads to discipleship. And so make sure that you’re intentional with your group meeting. Schedule the built in times for community. And then second scheduling times on your calendar for community. So as you set up kind of your calendar days to meet, make sure that about once a semester or once a quarter that you have at least one day just for community. So that means you can even do like a game night or get outside of the house or the room where you meet and have a picnic together. Go to the zoo or just do something fun that makes sure there’s community built into your calendar, into your schedule, so schedule it into your meetings and then put it on your calendar and let’s make sure we have community in our small group.

 

Tuesday Thoughts

Tuesday Thoughts – Discipleship Movement

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Last time we talked about the three distinctives of every small group, the three things that your group should be about, if you have a purpose. They were about creating disciples, being in community, and being on mission. So if you have those three things happening in your small group, you should have a biblical community. So let’s talk about discipleship. How do you know that the people in your group are being discipled? What are you looking for? Well, you should be looking for movement. Everything that grows, everything that is getting better has movement. For instance, if you try to get physically fit and you started going to the gym or eating better, you’re going to see progress and movement. When you look in the mirror, what we should see is the same thing with the people in our group as they’re being discipled. So what kind of movement?

I think there’s two types of movement that you should be looking for when your group is being discipled. The first movement, the movement that you should see is his movement toward Christ. So as Christ is the center of your group and the people in your group are being discipled, they’re going to naturally become more like Jesus. You’re going to see fruit that is more like Jesus coming from your group members. If you look at the first disciples and in their life they moved toward Jesus. There was movement toward who he is, and so that’s what you want to see from your group members. As they’re becoming discipled, they’re becoming more like Jesus. The second movement that you want to see with your group members is toward each other. So as they’re being discipled, as they’re becoming more like Christ, they’re also moving to take care of each other’s needs. They’re loving one another. You can see in the New Testament, 41 times that word one another is used. They were busy, one another in one another, and so as your group members are becoming discipled, as they’re becoming closer to Christ, they’re going to naturally going to want to take care of each other’s needs. Love one another, reach out to others around them. And so look for those two movements. Is Your group becoming more like Christ and are they moving to a taking care of one another?

Chris Surratt is a ministry consultant and coach with over 22 years of experience serving the local church. Chris served on the Executive Team at Cross Point Church in Nashville, TN, and was on staff at Seacoast Church in Charleston, SC, for 15 years. He is also the Small Group Specialist for LifeWay Christian Resources. Chris’s first book, Small Groups For The Rest Of Us: How to Design Your Small Groups System to Reach the Fringes, was just released by Thomas Nelson. You can follow his blog at chrissurratt.com or follow him on Twitter @chrissurratt.

 

Tuesday Thoughts

Tuesday Thoughts: 3 Distinctives of a Biblical Group

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[VIDEO TRANSCRIPT]

Okay, today I want to talk about having a purpose for your small group. Your small group can be about a lot of things and if we’re not careful, they can just become social clubs and not have a purpose that’s different from any other group that people can be a part of. So what are those distinctions that set your group apart from anything else that people can join in the world? I think we can find three specific distinctives when we look at the early church and the small group that they formed in acts. So if you look at acts 2:42 through 47, we can see three purposes jump out at us. It says they devoted themselves to the apostles teaching, to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe and many wonders and signs were being performed to the apostles.

Now all the believers were together and held all things in common. They sold their possessions and property, distributed the proceeds to all as any had need. Every day they devoted themselves to meeting together in the temple and broke bread from house to house. They ate their food with joyful and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. Every day the Lord added to their number, those who were being saved. And so as we look at this passage, I think we can see three distinctives that they had that all our groups should have. And so the first one that our group should be about is creating disciples. They were creating disciples. It was about discipleship. If you look, they were devoted to the teaching of the apostles. So how is your group creating disciples? Are you doing a study that’s kind of setting up those conversations that’s leading to discipleship? Second, they were living in community. It says that they went from house to house, that they broke bread together. They did life together. So how is your group doing that? How are they in community? Are you just about the study or are you actually doing life together? Breaking bread, having fun. And then third, they were on mission.

It says that they sold their possessions and they distributed to anyone who had need to. How is your group on mission? Are you making a difference in the culture that you are in? Are you making a difference in the community, in the neighborhood? Are you reaching out beyond the four walls that you have your meetings? So look at those three things. Are you creating disciples? Are you in community? And finally, are you on mission? Does your group have a purpose?