Community Archives - Group Ministry

November 12, 2018

When You Disagree in Group

by Jared Musgrove

It is never “if” Christians disagree but “when”.

It’s important to lean into this as a small group leader. Lead your group to practice Christian unity before the conflict comes. Walk through how you will disagree before the disagreement happens. This is an opportunity to show the gospel to an unbelieving world, and be reminded of it all over again yourselves.

Francis Schaeffer has been so helpful to me in his approach to Christian disagreement. In The Mark of the Christian, he outlines just how Christians are to disagree in a way that honors God:

1. Have regret. Weep over the fact that there is disagreement. This is clearly not as it should be. So recognize this. Weep together if you are able that you are here. Look forward together to a day when disagreements will be no more.

2. Demonstrate visible love. “Not all differences among Christians are equal. There are some that are very minor. Others are overwhelmingly important,” writes Schaeffer. “The more serious the wrongness, the more important it is to exhibit the holiness of God… the more important it becomes that we look to the Holy Spirit to enable us to show true love to the true Christians with whom we must differ.” Spend time on your knees praying for, and perhaps even with, the one with whom you disagree. This is visible, tangible love began.

3. Practice demonstrations of love. Do whatever must be done to show love, outdoing each other in honor even in the midst of the disagreement. A way to start the conversation with practical love is to tell the person with whom you disagree how you see the Lord using them. If they are a fellow Christian, the Spirit is at work in them. Remind each other of this in the midst of the disagreement.

4. Desire to solve the problem, rather than win. Far too much of our history is a desire to win for ourselves rather than for all the brothers and sisters. Schaeffer writes, “But we should understand that what we are working for in the midst of our difference is a solution – a solution that will give God the glory, that will be true to the Bible, but will exhibit the love of God simultaneously with his holiness.”

5. Help one another remember to exhibit our oneness in Christ before the disagreement comes. It is easy to compromise and call what is wrong right, but it is just as easy to forget to exhibit our oneness in Jesus. If there is not a habit of practicing oneness in Christ, of reminding each other of gospel truth regularly, then it will feel foreign to do so when the conflict comes.

Jared Steven Musgrove serves as Groups Pastor and elder at The Village Church in Flower Mound, Texas. He earned a bachelor’s degree in journalism from The University of Oklahoma, a Master of Divinity in preaching from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, and a Doctorate of Ministry in leadership from The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. He is the husband of Jenny and the father of two sons, Jordan and Joshua. You can follow him on Twitter @jsmusgrove

Church Leadership

November 9, 2018

Identifying Potential Leaders Within Your Small Group

By Group Ministry

by Brian Phipps

Moses identified and developed Joshua.

Elijah identified and developed Elisha.

Jesus identified and developed Peter.

Paul identified and developed Timothy.

Who have you identified and developed to lead in your group?

Identifying and developing new leaders can be one of the most exciting and fulfilling practices for a small group leader. Yet based on my experience and the experience of many others I have spoken to, developing new leaders seems to be a lost art that only a few enjoy. Current leaders simply are not raising up new leaders. It does not need to be this way.

The process of developing new leaders is simple:

Identify your new leader.

Partner with your new leader.

Release your new leader.

This article’s focus is on identifying potential leaders. Many leaders falter at this step because they start by looking for a person’s group-leading competency. I often hear leaders say, “No one in this group is ready to lead.” While that statement may be true, it is partly true because they have never been given a chance to lead or they were asked to lead without adequate preparation.

If you want to see more potential leaders in your current group, don’t start by looking for their competency. Start by looking for the following four criteria:

Character

Is this person growing? Are they taking next steps in their faith? If so, they have character. They do not need to have “arrived” at a certain level to begin developing their leadership ability.

Consistency

Does this person regularly show up for group? Are they consistently prepared for the conversation? Do their actions correlate with their words? If so, they are consistent.

Chemistry

Does this person get along with most everyone else? If so, they have favorable chemistry. I do not know anyone who gets along with everyone, but I do know some who do not get along with many. Good group leaders are generally those who get along with most people.

Charisma

Do you and other people in the group listen when this person speaks? Does this person have people hanging around them before and after the group? If so, this person has charisma.

The ICNU (I see in you) Conversation

If a person meets these four criteria, it is time to initiate an “I see in you” conversation with them. Invite this person to come 15 minutes early to a group meeting to share what you see in them. This is such an encouraging exercise! After sharing the specific ways you see character, consistency, chemistry, and charisma in them, tell them that these are the four most important qualities you look for in a new group leader. Before they have a chance to respond, let them know that you want to work with them over the next few weeks to prepare them to lead the group. It is during this process that you will measure their competency.

If a person meets three of the four criteria, you can have a similar conversation with them. Have the ICNU conversation and how the three criteria you see are three of the four you look for in a new leader. The only difference in this conversation is that you will encourage them to consider asking Jesus to develop the one criteria that is missing.

For example, if consistency is missing encourage them to ask Jesus to give them a desire and commitment to be more consistent. If they are missing the chemistry element, you can encourage them to pray for Jesus to bear more spiritual fruit in them. Developing this fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control goes a long way in developing chemistry with more people. The most difficult of these criteria to develop is charisma. Even so, God can develop confidence and vision in them that can elevate their potential to lead. If they develop that forth criteria, they too are ready to begin the process that will help you measure their competency.

Four Progressive Steps to Measuring Competency

1. I do. You watch. We talk.

2. I do. You help. We talk.

3. You do. I help. We talk.

4. You do. I watch. We talk.

Much has been written about these four steps of leadership development. The brilliance of this process is the ability to measure person’s competency incrementally, minimizing embarrassment and perceived failure by thrusting them into a leadership situation prematurely. If a person moves through all four phases of this process successfully, it is time to enter the second phase of developing a leader, partnering with a new leader. I will cover that exciting topic in a later blog.

A Simple Tool

Identifying a new leader is not difficult, but it does take intentionality. One helpful tip for keeping this a priority is to have a notepad that you keep with you while leading your group. List out the four criteria on that notebook with space between each of them. When you notice someone demonstrating a given criteria, put their initials under that heading. When they get their initials under three or four of them, it is time to have those conversations.

A Promise

Over and over I hear how awesome it is to be a grandparent. Almost every grandparent I know says it is WAY better than being a parent! Currently, I have three kids but no grandchildren. If these people are correct, my wife and I have some awesome days ahead because being a parent has been awesome!

While I am not a grandparent physically, I am a grandparent spiritually. I know the joys of watching those I have invested in turn and invest in others. Their spiritual growth went into in hyper-drive when they started leading just like mine did when I was first asked to lead a Sunday school group many years ago. Their joy went up and my delight in them went up. I believe God smiled too. His kingdom just made room for more people to join and grow.

Start identifying a new leader today!

Brian Phipps is the founder of Disciples Made, a Not For Profit 501c3 Ministry that provides turn-key and custom disciple-making tools that integrate online and in person experiences. Brian coined the “Outcome Focused, Habit Fueled, and Content Flavored” language of the intentional disciple-making environment which provides increased spiritual effectiveness in traditional small group systems. Brian’s vision is to leverage the small group strategy to catalyze 50 Disciple-Making Movements in 50 Cities by 2040.

Brian served for nine years as the Next Steps pastor at Westside Family Church in Kansas City, KS. Brian is also experienced as a church planter and senior pastor. Brian received his BA in religion from the University of South Carolina, and a Masters of Divinity and M.A. in Counseling from Reformed Theological Seminary in Orlando, Florida. Brian and Carol were married in 1994 and have three children, Hannah, Sam, and Caleb.

Group Answers Podcast, Uncategorized

November 7, 2018

Tuesday Thoughts

November 6, 2018

Tuesday Thoughts: Shaping Culture in your Small Group

By Chris Surratt

Today I want to talk about shaping the culture of your small group. You know, every environment that we find ourselves in has a culture. Kind of those unwritten rules or laws that we all abide by when we’re in that environment. For instance, your work place has a culture. There’s a certain way that you behave, how you interact with people at work and that becomes the culture of your workplace. Our homes have a culture. The way that we act in our homes, where we behave in our environment is just the natural culture of the unwritten laws, rules of our homes. Well, our small groups have a culture as well. Now, culture is kind of like the rebar of a building when it’s being constructed and if you were to go by a building when it’s first getting started, you might see these steel poles that are in the building and that’s the rebar and that’s the framework for that building, but we don’t go by a building at that stage and admire it and say, that’s gonna be a beautiful building! I can tell by the rebar! No, we wait until it’s built out and the outside gets on and then we admire it. But if the rebar wasn’t there, that building would eventually collapse.

So that’s the same thing when it comes to our small groups. What is the culture? What is the rebar? What is the framework of your small group? It’s either Gospel centered or it’s not. So if we recognize this fact, we should take on an active role in culture formation in our small group and we should be concerned that the gospel is not merely a message that we talk about, but it’s actually providing the underlying framework for everything that we do in our group life. That it infiltrates our thoughts and our beliefs and consequently our groups so deeply that even the normal aspects of what we do together in our group takes on a different kind of significance and meaning. And that’s being gospel centered with our culture. So over the next few weeks with Tuesday thoughts, I’m going to break that out and look at how do we take each aspect of the culture of our group and make sure that it’s gospel centered.

Chris Surratt is a ministry consultant and coach with more than twenty years of experience serving the local church. Chris served on the Executive Teams at Cross Point Church in Nashville, TN., and Seacoast Church in Charleston, S.C., prior to becoming the Discipleship and Small Groups Specialist for LifeWay Christian Resources. He is the author of Small Groups for the Rest of Us: How to Design Your Small Groups System to Reach the Fringes. You can follow his blog at *www.chrissurratt.com***.

Group Answers Podcast, Uncategorized

October 31, 2018

Church Leadership

October 30, 2018

Remove Your Masks

By Group Ministry

by Tyler Quillet

It’s that time of year when kids (and some sugar-craved adults) are running around your neighborhood in crazy costumes to collect candy. Each Halloween, we all think to ourselves at some point, “I wonder who is under that mask?” If you are a small group leader, you’ve probably asked that question about folks in your group as well. They may not be wearing a Spiderman mask to small group, but they certainly aren’t revealing their hearts either. So, how do we as small group leaders create an environment where the masks come off? It’s an important question, because masks hide important issues and struggles.

Nine years ago, my wife and I experienced our first of many miscarriages. We were broken. As much as we wanted to cancel small group that week, we knew that as leaders we had an opportunity to be vulnerable with our group. This could go a long way toward us all doing life in Jesus together in the years ahead. We were done with our study and it was time to share prayer requests, so we shared our news from that week. We wept as we opened ourselves up and shared our hurt, our anger and our confusion. The group’s response was something we could have never imagined. Crickets. Nobody said a word. They just sat there and stared at us. It took awkward to new levels. They didn’t know what to do or say, so they did and said…nothing. I finally broke the prolonged silence by praying a general prayer and as people left that evening, a few of the ladies gave my wife a hug to say they were sorry. That was it.

It would be really easy for me to get angry with our group for this. Clearly, we were hurt. We were a newer group of young couples and people weren’t totally comfortable with each other quite yet. However, do you know where the blame lies for that awkward evening? Right at my feet. As the leader, I hadn’t created an environment of transparency. I hadn’t yet modeled vulnerability. To that point, our new group was a bunch of people wearing masks who got together to eat good food and read the Bible together. We didn’t yet trust one another, and so everything shared up to that point as a group was fluffy and superficial. I had failed them, and so when we opened our hearts up, it was something they hadn’t experienced before and they didn’t know what to do.

A good friend of mine who I co-led a group with years ago often jokingly used the phrase, “It’s time to get naked.” Now, please don’t take this literally at your next small group meeting. It won’t go over well and you’ll end up in jail! But I love what that entails when it comes to our hearts. It’s time to strip away the pride, the embarrassment, and whatever else you are trying to cover your heart up with. It’s time to take the mask off of your heart and allow those you are in community with to see your struggles, your hurts, your emotions, your flaws, and your desperation for Jesus.

Doing this once isn’t going to make you a transparent group (see story above). However, modeling a transparent heart, asking transparency of your group each week, and loving and encouraging each other through the transparency is, over time, going to bring you all closer to one another. More importantly, it’s going to bring you all the closer to Jesus.

It’s up to you to ask the Lord for discernment in what to share with your group and when. As group leaders, we have to lead the way in bringing our people to a place of transparency. It may be difficult at first, but true discipleship begins to happen when we are doing life together, sharing our hearts and pointing one another towards Jesus each step of the way.

May your group continue to grow in heart-level sharing with one another, may you be faithful to care for one another as you share from the depths, and may you pray fervently for those who take off their masks and share what they desperately need from Jesus.

Tyler Quillet is the Discipleship Strategist for the Custom Bible Study team at LifeWay Christian Resources. He lives in the Nashville, TN area with his incredible wife, Cathie and two boys, Cylas and Bowen. Tyler spent 15 years as a pastor in Ohio before moving to the Nashville area and is passionate about serving churches and pouring into church leaders in a variety of ways.

Church Leadership

October 29, 2018

3 Advantages of Small (groups and the microchip)

By Dwayne McCrary

by Dwayne McCrary

The November 15, 1971 issue of Electronic News included an ad that read, “Announcing a new era in integrated electronics.” The ad announced that the first commercially available microprocessor was hitting the market. With that announcement, the Intel® 4004 chip launched a revolution we continue to see unfold today. The 4004 chip reminds us of the advantage of small.

Small also contributes to the effectiveness of a Bible study group. I don’t pretend to know what number makes a group small or large in your context, but for me, once a group exceeds 20, it is no longer small. And remember, 10 couples equals 20. In my experience, something is lost when a group exceeds that number.

So what makes small so powerful? There are at least 3 advantages.

Advantage 1: Teaching Options. The larger the group the more limited our options when it comes to how we can teach. Large groups tend to move us into presentation mode and out of teaching mode (which explains why a professor teaching a class of 100 usually lectures). Presentations are about content. Teaching is about engaging the people in the group; tailoring the group time to fit their experiences, needs, and learning styles. Small makes it possible for us to use a variety of teaching approaches, giving us more tools to use when tailoring the group experience.

Advantage 2: Flexibility. A strength of a large group is mass. That mass is also a weakness, limiting the places they can go as a group. For example, if the focus of a particular study was serving, we might move the group meeting to a local ministry location where we can meet and then serve through that organization. The larger the group, the less likely we will be able to do that. Small makes it possible for us to meet in all kinds of locations without overwhelming the location.

Advantage 3: Trust. Our willingness to share is a function of trust. The greater the trust, the greater our willingness to share. When we feel like we know the others in the group, we are more willing to take the risk of sharing our ideas and experiences. Informal conversations that take place as people arrive, when they are sharing a snack, or gathering their stuff to leave nurture this trust. The larger the group, the less likely these trust-building informal conversations occur on a broad scope which lowers group trust.

When a group becomes large, however you want to define large, we may want to begin the process of starting a new group so we do not sacrifice the items listed above.

What other advantages have you found for creating smaller groups?

Dwayne McCrary is a project team leader for ongoing adult Bible study resources at LifeWay, including the adult Explore the Bible resources. He also teaches an adult group and preschool group every Sunday in the church he attends.

Group Answers Podcast

October 24, 2018

Group Answers Episode 71: Trillia Newbell

By Group Ministry

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Our guest today is Trillia Newbell. Trillia is the author of the kids’ book God’s Very Good Idea, as well as Enjoy: Finding the Freedom to Delight Daily in God’s Good Gifts (2016), Fear and Faith: Finding the Peace Your Heart Craves (2015) and United: Captured by God’s Vision for Diversity(2014). Her writings on issues of faith, family, and diversity have been published in the Knoxville News-Sentinel, Desiring God, True Woman, Christianity Today, The Gospel Coalition, and more. She has spoken at numerous conferences, churches, women’s retreats, colleges and seminaries, including True Woman, The Gospel Coalition Women’s conference, Southeastern Theological Seminary, and more. She currently is the Director of Community Outreach for the Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission for the Southern Baptist Convention.

Questions:

In your book you say there is a richness in knowing — really knowing — someone who is different from you. Trillia, can you elaborate on this, maybe with a personal example, of what you mean here by “richness”. This is about as close to the heart of group life as it gets.
As you have addressed issues like reconciliation and diversity, what biblical foundations have you tended to draw from?
Let’s challenge ourselves with a different perspective. You are at times very transparent about your own experiences in United. You use words like fear, ashamed, and embarrassed. How would you articulate the experience of feeling alone even amidst hundreds of people.
A church’s group ministry would seem to be uniquely positioned to serve others in ways that combat sentiments of isolation as it relates to diversity. How have you seen or can you see groups in their various expressions help churches work towards greater diversity and unity?
How do you think groups can counter a sense of rejection that some carry?
Trillia, why would a church work towards greater unity? It’s hard and in some places simply because of location and a city’s profile it feels almost impossible. In your opinion, why is it worth the effort?

Quotes:

“In any group situation, we want people to go from surface to deep. We want them to know one another.”

“One of the great benefits of knowing people is knowing people who are not like you.”

“We are all made in the image of God. That is the foundation for how we think about other people. God values all people.”

“Throughout the scripture, from Genesis to Revelation, we see a picture of God creating a people for Himself, to be saved by His son, to be in community with one another, and to one day be ultimately worshipping together for eternity.”

“In a group setting, it’s good to ask people how they are doing, and then probe a little bit deeper.”

“It’s so easy for small groups to be comfortable and insular. It’s really difficult to break into a small group that has been together for a long time.”

The Group Answers Podcast is a weekly show designed to resource, train, and encourage small group leaders. Each episode considers current trends and resources as well as timeless truths and methods of discipleship. It is hosted by Brian Daniel, a Bible study and discipleship expert in LifeWay’s Groups Ministry, and Chris Surratt, the small group and discipleship specialist at LifeWay and author of Small Groups For The Rest Of Us.

Church Leadership, Group Leadership

October 16, 2018

Take Sunday out of Sunday School if you want a Healthier Ministry

By Ken Braddy

“Sunday” is quite the misnomer. My understanding of Sunday School is that the best Sunday School happens after noon on Sundays and continues through late Saturday night six days later. As I’ve told training conference attendees before, “There isn’t anything ‘Sunday’ about Sunday School done right.” Sunday School done right is a 24/7 ministry that should find group members engaging with one another and their communities weekly.

“School” also may not have quite the right connotation about what happens in many Bible study groups. School is a term that may conjure up images of boring times, uninteresting subject matter, and teachers who didn’t “get us.” In many Sunday School groups, the teaching is discussion-centered and learner-centric. It is a far cry from the mental image some people have about Sunday School.

The best thing many of our groups could do is to take Sunday out of Sunday School. We should see Sunday School as a 24/7 ministry and not something we only do for an hour on Sunday morning. A few ways to do this include:

Contacting every absentee each week.
Fellowshipping together as a group regularly
Engaging in ministry as a group
Contacting and praying for one another throughout the week
Challenging group members to remain in God’s Word daily as they continue to wrestle with the truths discussed in the group’s Bible study

If Sunday School is only about Sunday, I believe it will struggle to be attractive to current and new members of our churches. It can be so much more than an hour of Bible study before or after the morning worship service. If, however, we take the “Sunday” out of Sunday School, it will become a vital part of who we are as the body of Christ. If we make Sunday School a true 24/7 ministry, its best days are still ahead.

Ken Braddy manages LifeWay’s ongoing adult Bible studies and is a 20+ year veteran in Sunday School ministry. His new book, Breathing Life Into Sunday School, releases in April 2019.

Church Leadership

October 15, 2018

Five Ways to Improve at Encouraging One Another and Building Each Other Up

By Group Ministry

by Jared Musgrove

Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.

1 Thessalonians 5:11

Christian encouragement is a command, but one we find awkward to employ in everyday life. It doesn’t have to be uncomfortable, though. Like any other skill, we get better at it with practice. With that in mind, here are five suggestions to help you grow in your ability to encourage others.

1. Turn to the Word

Not everyone is naturally comfortable crafting the perfect words for a given situation. In practicing encouragement, I have found that the fewer words I use of my own, the better. This realization has relieved me to encourage all the more, and with greater truthfulness. I don’t need my words to encourage; I need God’s Word.

Let the Scriptures be your starting point for encouraging others. Share with fellow believers where you see the Spirit working in and through them. Point out the fruit of the Spirit that you see growing in them (Galatians 5:22-23). Affirm them in their spiritual gifting and faithful use of those gifts (1 Corinthians 12; Romans 12).

Celebrating someone’s spiritual fruit and gifting is a good start toward true Christian encouragement.

2. Be Specific

Our encouragement is most meaningful when we take enough interest in others and are specific with our encouragement. Be observant of those in your believing community. Who is quick to volunteer and serve others? Who models self-control in their words and actions? Who exhibits patience with those who talk perhaps more than they should?

Based on what you observe, offer concrete examples of how you have seen this person live out their faith. It’s deeply encouraging to hear, “I saw God’s grace at work when you did this or said that.” Specific examples bless the hearer and show that you have taken genuine interest in them.

3. Be Intentional

Give thought to who could use encouragement. I and my ministry team set aside some time during some of our team meetings to encourage one another. We choose an individual in advance for each meeting, then take intentional time to tell them specifically how we see them being used by God. It deepens us as individuals and as a community.

Whether we work for a church or not, we are all doing the work of ministry, and because it is difficult work, we all need encouragement. The best way to be intentional is to think ahead and praise someone based on where you see faithfulness and fruit of the Spirit in a brother or sister. That is intentionality in encouragement, and it draws from the depths.

4. Be Selfless

Have you ever held back from encouraging someone because you were afraid you might feed their pride? Have you ever withheld encouragement because you viewed someone as a rival in your work environment or your circle of friends? We all have, but Christian encouragement and flattery sit at opposite ends of the spectrum.

Don’t let fear of being seen as a flatterer cause you to curtail your genuine words of encouragement. Don’t let your own insecurities inhibit your praise of others. The one who encourages practices selflessness, taking the words of Proverbs 12:18 to heart: “There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”

We have a choice to be selfish or selfless in our encouragement. We can either harm by the selfishness of our silence or diminished praise, or we can heal by the selflessness of our fruitful words driven by the Scriptures.

5. Be Courageous

Don’t just encourage for godly things already done, but encourage the pursuit of godly things not being done, as well. We often need godly courage in order to give someone else godly courage.

If a friend is looking at pornography, find words to encourage them toward desiring Christ-likeness instead of illicit images. If a friend is engaging in gossip, find words to encourage them toward Christ-honoring speech. Be gracious rather than legalistic. The more you can identify with your friend’s battle, the more loving your encouragement will be. Use Christian courage to confront sin with kindness and gentleness.

I believe encouragement should take its place alongside any list of spiritual disciplines. I’ve found few exercises to be more challenging and affirming to my walk with Christ and to my ability to benefit my brothers and sisters.

When we encourage someone, we have the opportunity to speak healing truth into their life. We do this by grace through a heart changed by Christ and words drawn from Scripture. In this way, may we strive to excel in building up the church (1 Corinthians 14:12).

*Aspects of this article also appeared at tvcresources.net and ftc.co

Jared Steven Musgrove serves as Groups Pastor and elder at The Village Church in Flower Mound, Texas. He earned a bachelor’s degree in journalism from The University of Oklahoma, a Master of Divinity in preaching from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, and a Doctorate of Ministry in leadership from The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. He is the husband of Jenny and the father of two sons, Jordan and Joshua. You can follow him on Twitter @jsmusgrove