Group Dynamics Archives - Group Ministry

October 18, 2019

Four Ways We are to Shepherd our Groups

The elders of the church were put in place to shepherd the congregation in the same way we as small group leaders are to shepherd our portion of the church. Although we are not that familiar with shepherds in today’s society, God chose shepherds throughout the Bible to lead His people. Abraham, Jacob, Moses, and David were all shepherds chosen as leaders by God. Jesus even referred to Himself as a shepherd: “I am the good shepherd. I know my own, and my own know me” (John 10:14).

Here are four ways we are to lead as shepherds for our groups:

From the heart

They know each sheep in their care and will work hard to get them to their destination. The small group leader’s role is to help the people in their group take the next spiritual step to get them from where they are to where they need to be. A shepherd leader will work hard to make sure no one is left behind on their spiritual journey.

With compassion

Jesus (the ultimate shepherd) set the example as a leader who always had compassion for His followers—even when it was most inconvenient.

We see in the book of Matthew Jesus withdrawing for time alone to grieve immediately after receiving the news of the death of John the Baptist, but He still could not escape the crowds.

When Jesus heard about it, he withdrew from there by boat to a remote place to be alone. When the crowds heard this, they followed him on foot from the towns. When he went ashore, he saw a large crowd, had compassion on them, and healed their sick. (Matt. 14:13–14)

Even though Jesus had every right to not care for another person at that moment, He saw sheep without a shepherd and had compassion for them. There will be many times as a small group leader where a member of your group will have a need at the most inopportune moment. It may be a phone call late at night. It may be someone who wants to stay after group to talk. It may be someone at church who needs to grab time in the lobby during the service you are about to attend. While inconvenient, it’s at those times where we have to remember the compassionate example of Jesus.

From the front

“When he has brought all his own outside, he goes ahead of them. The sheep follow him because they know his voice” (John 10:4). A leader that people will follow is a leader willing to go first. This may mean sharing a vulnerable story with the group to set the example of authenticity. The group will model the behavior you display. If you want your group to be open, open your heart first. If you want the group to serve, serve them first. Leading from the front does not mean dictating direction. It means setting the example for others to follow.

Sacrificially

There will be times when leading your group will be a sacrifice. Jesus said, “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep” (John 10:11). While your sacrifices will probably not involve laying your life down for someone, opening your home to a group of people weekly is a sacrifice. You have to keep the house clean, put up the pets, pull out all the extra chairs, make sure there is food, etc. It’s exhausting to host a group! You will need occasional breaks to not burn out, but that sacrifice of time and effort will lead to a group that bonds through consistency.

At the end of our time as leaders, we want to know we led our flock well. We can look to Jesus, the Good Shepherd, and follow His example of shepherding His flock. Though we will not be perfect, we want to lead from the heart, lead with compassion, lead from the front, and lead sacrificially.

Chris Surratt (@ChrisSurratt) is a ministry consultant and coach with more than twenty years of experience. He served on church staffs prior to becoming the discipleship and small groups specialist for LifeWay Christian Resources. He is the author of Leading Small Groups: How to Gather, Launch, Lead, and Multiply Your Small Group, from which this is excerpted and adapted with permission from B&H Publishing Group. You can follow his blog at ChrisSurratt.com.

Church Leadership

October 4, 2019

The One Thing We Don’t Do

By Reid Patton

In a recent sermon on guilt, my pastor said to the church, “I know you people. You come to my office for counseling, and most of the problems you have come because y’all don’t deal with your stuff.” What my pastor was saying is that most of us are not great at dealing with the sin in our lives. Even though we believe the gospel, that our sin has been taken care of at the cross, we still need to deal with the indwelling sin still lurking in our hearts. My suspicion is that the local church where I am member is not alone here. In fact, this problem goes all the way back to the garden.

When God did not accept Cain’s sacrifice, and Cain was sullen, God said, “Why are you furious? And why do you look despondent. If you do what is right, won’t you be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is for you, but you must rule over it” (Gen. 4:6b-7). The great Puritan pastor John Owen put it this way: “be killing sin or it will be killing you.” Because Cain did not deal with his sin, his sin dealt with him, and he killed his brother. We need keep watch over our lives because sin looks for any opportunity.

What my pastor, the Book of Genesis, and John Owen are all saying is that it is the duty of every believer to confess their sin and repent of it. Sin keeps us from fully experiencing the joy we were designed to have in Christ and damages our relationships with God and with other people. The mechanism God has given us to deal with our sin is confession and repentance (1 John 1:9; Mark 1:15). Repentance is not simply what brings us into faith with Christ, but it sustains our faith in Christ as we grow. We say no to sin and yes to God. That is what Owen had in mind when he wrote about killing sin—we continually repent of sin throughout our Christian life.

Our small groups are the ideal place to invite people into your personal battle against sin. Yet how few of us ever confess our sins to another believer as James suggested we should (5:16)? No, we typically do the opposite. We try and hide our sin from other people, afraid of what they might think of us. But guess what, everyone in your church and in your small group is a sinner. Therefore, after confessing your sin to God, the community of faith is the next best place to express your struggle with sin and find encouragement.

In her book Openness Unhindered, Rosaria Butterfield writes about the grace of confession in the community of the church: “After Pentecost, believers were ‘continually devoting themselves…to fellowship’ (Acts 2:42). In a real Christian community, there is no shame in repentance. Real Christian communities view repentant sinners as God sees them: cleansed and robed in Christ’s righteousness. And we know that that battle with sin is not finished until we die or Christ returns. For this reason, ‘from now on we recognize no one according to the flesh'” (2 Cor. 5:16).[1]

Butterfield’s point is that when we entered into the community of faith, we found a place where we are accepted despite our sin, because we aren’t recognized by our sin, but by the grace of God at work in our lives. Confession then is not a weight, but a freedom we can only find in Christ.

The people in your group should know about areas of your life where you are wrestling with sin. They should be aware of your struggle so they can pray for you and support you. They should know so they can hold you accountable. Confession is not an embarrassing burden but a great freedom secured for us by the blood of Christ.

All of this begins when you are open and honest about your own struggle and model what confession looks like. Lead from the front, and confess what is going on in your own heart. Be vulnerable to ask for prayer and accountability. Receive others confession with acceptance and grace while addressing it with prayer and pointing them back to the gospel. Make your small group a place where people can “deal with their stuff,” as my pastor suggested.

As small group leaders, you are on the front lines of ministry. You are the arms of the church and the first stop for pastoral care. Humbly embrace this responsibility and lead your groups to become a refuge where people can experience the life giving grace that comes from confessing sin and looking to Christ.

[1] Butterfield, Rosaria Champagne. Openness Unhindered: Further Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert on Sexual Identity and Union with Christ. Pittsburgh, PA: Crown & Covenant, 2015. Pg. 90.

Reid Patton is a Content Editor for the Custom Content Team at LifeWay Christian Resources, where he produces biblical small group studies for Discipleship In Context and SmallGroup.com. He is the thankful husband of Kristen and proud father of Ceile and serves with the Life Group leadership team at the Church at Station Hill in Spring Hill, Tennessee. In his free time, Reid likes reading and going to record stores. You can find him on Twitter@jreidpatton.

Group Answers Podcast

September 25, 2019

Group Answers Episode 119: Heather Zempel and Amanda Seidler

By Group Ministry

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On this episode of Group Answers, Chris and Brian talk with Heather Zempel and Amanda Seidler about untraditional groups in Washington, D.C.

Heather Zempel leads the discipleship efforts at National Community Church in Washington, D.C. Heather oversees small groups, directs leadership development training, and serves on the weekend teaching team. Heather can be found on Capitol Hill enjoying the adventures of parenting with her husband Ryan as they raise Sawyer, their fun-loving and energetic daughter. Heather is the author of Sacred Roads, Community is Messy, and Amazed and Confused.

Amanda Seidler loves to help people build meaningful relationships with one another, grow in Christlikeness, and discover how to impact the world around them. As Groups Pastor, she gets to do that through leading the vision, strategy, and implementation of community environments for growth and discipleship at National Community Church.

Questions:

D.C. is such a transient, busy city. How difficult is it to convince people to be a part of a small group?
Other than the traditional group in someone’s home, what other types of groups do you offer?
What does it take to have a successful workplace environment group?
What counsel would you give a leader wanting to launch untraditional groups?
What are the most significant challenges you’re seeing in group ministry today?
What single decision from your time in leadership, if given the chance, would you change?

Quotes:

People are most likely to give groups a shot when they’re in a season of life change.
If I can pray for someone on the other side of the aisle at 7 AM in a coffee house, that doesn’t have to change when I go into my office two hours later.
You never want to take a system that was designed specifically for another demographic, another church, and try to make it work in your unique location.
You have to be constantly reevaluating your system because culture is changing.
Jesus taught at synagogues, but he also taught at wells.
As a leader of leaders, how do I leverage who my people already are?
We want people to get a vision from God and run with it.

This Episode’s Sponsor: You’ve probably heard about the movie OVERCOMER. But you may not know there are a few books and Bible studies inspired by the film. One is called Defined by Alex Kendrick and Stephen Kendrick, which is a book and Bible study based on insights from the Book of Ephesians. You can find these books and Bible studies at LifeWay.com/Overcomer.

The Group Answers Podcast is a weekly show designed to resource, train, and encourage small group leaders. Each episode considers current trends and resources as well as timeless truths and methods of discipleship. It is hosted by Brian Daniel, a Bible study and discipleship expert in LifeWay’s Groups Ministry, and Chris Surratt, the small group and discipleship specialist at LifeWay and author of Leading Small Groups.

Free Bible Teaching

September 24, 2019

The Discipleship Group That Changed My Life

By Group Ministry

by Scarlet Hiltibidal

I was twenty-something. My husband had recently become an ordained pastor. It felt fast and scary and wrong to me. We were babies. We were supposed to be wild and free. We were supposed to go to church or sleep too late and miss church, not be IN CHARGE of a church. As an act of semi-rebellion I, with my husband’s approval, got two tattoos (both Bible verses) within one week of him being ordained. Okay, I guess that’s not very rebellious, but kind of it was.

I was a bit of a mess those years early years of church ministry. During a few of them, I was a closeted bulimic. During a few of them, I was an uninvolved hider. During some months in there, I suffered a miscarriage and turned away from God — telling Him I did not have anything to say to Him. I did a lot of things wrong during those first years.

But, I never left the faith. I was held together by the body of Christ, who prayed FOR me when I wouldn’t, who discipled me when I was more immature and foolish than I am today.

And I can think back to one particular discipleship group I was in when I was some season of my twenty-something messiness, that extraordinarily changed my life.

Because we were part of a large, multi-site church, there was a ministry specifically for the pastor’s wives there. One weekend, our group was scheduled to stay in a borrowed beach house in the Florida Keys for a “Pastor’s Wives Retreat.”

After eating crab cakes and settling in our rooms in the big house, we all congregated in the living room area. One of the older women said she thought it would be a good idea for each more seasoned mother to share their best advice with the younger mothers in the group.

I was trying so hard to have it together at that point in my life. I had a BABY. I wanted to be the perfect wife and mother. I wanted to make up for all my ministry mistakes and failures. I wanted God to approve of me and I always felt like He didn’t.

So, I listened. I listened so intently as each woman shared her sleep training tips and disciplinary strategies. It all felt overwhelming until it got to Elizabeth.

Elizabeth was the newest pastor’s wife. I didn’t know her. She was really pretty and really blonde and seemed confident and relaxed. She said something like, “My goal in my home isn’t to have perfect children or to be a perfect mother. That’s not even possible anyway… My goal is to live the gospel out in my home.”

She went on to explain that she failed her family all the time, but when she did, she apologized and asked for forgiveness. She said he prayed, out loud, prayers of repentance with her children. She said her goal was to live a life that displayed her need for Jesus and Jesus’ sufficiency in her, and if she was able to give that to her kids, then she’d consider her parenting a success.

She wasn’t saying, “do,” she was saying, “done.” She wasn’t saying, “you,” she was saying “Jesus.” And it’s not like I’d never heard His name before, but it had never sounded so sweet. His work had never sounded so complete.

That moment in that group with Elizabeth changed my life. It changed my family. It grew my faith and gave me hope for ministry, as I began to base my approved status on Jesus’ perfection, not my own attempts to be good enough.

Whatever your group is — whether it’s a sermon-based group or a book-study group or a group for Christian musicians or an outreach for preschool moms — if the gospel is lifted up, if the already done, amazing work of Jesus is made central and beautiful, hearts and lives will change.

Preach the gospel in your group. Be repetitive and ask your people to preach it back to you. We are rebels and hiders and bulimics. We are scared and tired and in over our heads. But Jesus has already died and risen and won. He forgives and saves and leads us out of hiding and fear and self-imposed exhaustion. Our hearts need to be reminded that we are loved and safe and free because of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Discipleship groups that highlight that are the ones that will change the world, one broken heart at a time.

“Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe everything I have commanded you. And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” — Jesus, Matthew 28:19-20

Scarlet Hiltibidal is the author of Afraid of All the Things and He Numbered the Pores on My Face. She also writes a regular column for ParentLife Magazine and enjoys speaking to women around the country about the freedom and rest available in Jesus. Scarlet lives in Middle Tennessee, where she loves sign language with her daughters, nachos by herself, writing for her friends, and learning how to raise ducks with her husband for no reason other than cuteness.

Group Answers Podcast

September 18, 2019

Group Answers Episode 118: Steve Gladen on Group Trends

By Group Ministry

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On this episode of Group Answers, Chris and Brian talk with Steve Gladen about current trends in small groups.

Steve Gladen (M Div., Fuller Theological Seminary) has been Executive Pastor of Small Groups at Saddleback Church since 1998 and serves as an elder of the church. He oversees the strategic launch and spiritual development of more than 7,000 adult small groups on multiple campuses. He is the author of Small Groups with Purpose, which has been translated into eleven languages, and Planning Small Groups with Purpose. He has a driving passion to see each church attendee connected to a qualified shepherd and become an integral part of their church body, living purposefully for Christ. Steve and his wife, Lisa, have been married for nearly 30 years, have two children, Erika and Ethan, and reside in Orange County, California. Learn more at www.stevegladen.com.

Questions:

You host a lot of conferences and spend time with a ton of churches, what are some of the group trends that you are seeing out there?
What counsel would you give a church planter establishing a groups ministry?
What are the most significant challenges you’re seeing in group ministry today?
Saddleback has been successful with virtual, online groups, is that a viable strategy for most churches?
Who has been the most influential leader — your “go to” — throughout your ministry in the groups space?
What single decision from your time in leadership, if given the chance, would you change?

Quotes:

The economy of churches is relationship, relationship, relationship.
You build a church crowd to core.
You need a relationship and you need a responsibility.
The greatest value that distinguishes a group is that it fills the void that you feel spiritually.
It’s the content that brings people; they stay because of the community.
Your driving force has to be “change lives.”
You want to meet people where they’re at and take them to where you want them.
When God lays something on your heart, the toughest thing to do is be obedient to it.

Church Leadership

August 22, 2019

How to Handle Conflict in Your Small Group

By Group Ministry

by Reid Smith

Conflict happens. You cannot always anticipate it, but you know it when you have stepped in it. The temptation is to avoid conflict, but that is a mistake! The key to handling conflict most of the time is to deal with it head-on and right away in love. Attempting to avoid conflict only invites more of it into a situation. Unaddressed tension festers into the kind of conflict that is harmful to group life. “Better is open rebuke than hidden love” (Proverbs 27:5). When group leaders address tension in its brewing stage, it can enrich everyone’s sense of belonging and togetherness.

The most violated principle in handling conflict is Matthew 18:15, which says, “If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you.” The first thing believers are instructed to do when they have a problem with another person is to directly and privately address the matter with that person. People tumble into trouble, and disagreements escalate into tragic relational fissures when they skip this first step and gossip or stew in their feelings.

We must examine our own hearts before we go to deal with conflict. For example, our motivation is off if what we really want deep down is for the other person to see that we are right and apologize to us for the trouble they have caused. Rather, we want to ‘win over’ our brother or sister for the sake of the relationship…not to ‘win’ an argument for our ego’s sake. We will be better prepared to deal with conflict in healthy and productive ways if we ask ourselves these questions before speaking into tense situations:

Why am I upset?
Is there anything I need to apologize for or let go of? What can I learn from this?
Why do I want to go to this person? What is my goal? What do I hope to see accomplished?
Do the outcomes I desire benefit me and the person I have a problem with? Would Jesus hope for the same outcome I desire?
How can both of us not just move on but grow together as a result of the conflict?

There is wisdom woven throughout the Scriptures on how to deal with conflict in ways that are healthy for individuals and groups. In the table below, you will find passages on how group leaders can “leverage” conflict to create an environment where biblical community can continue to grow:

Key Scriptures.	Applied to Conflict
1 Cor. 13:4	Go to God before going to another. If you are not being patient, kind, and thoughtful of the other, then you are not responding in love. Be sure your heart reflects love’s attributes before dealing with conflict.
1 Cor. 13:5	Prayerfully offer up the offense and your response to the Lord and ask Him if the source of conflict is something you should release or respond to with truth in love. (Eph. 4:15)
Mt. 18:15-17	When you have a problem with somebody, first pray and then go immediately and directly to them to deal with it in private. Subsequently, only involve others if necessary for their sake and for complete healing.
James. 4:1-2	Use the questions above to evaluate your motives for conflict and get your heart right before speaking into a tense situation. (Prov. 15:28)
Phil. 2:4	Try to understand where the other person is coming from and what you can do to work toward a solution that results in mutual understanding and encouragement. (Rom. 14:19)
Eph. 4:15, 25	Continually hold on to truth and love as you speak to another person. We become off-balance the moment we let go of either one.
Eph. 4:26-27	Be real and say everything you feel you need to say in love. Do not leave behind any scraps for the enemy.
Prov. 20:3; 2 Tim. 2:24	Be self-controlled in conflict. You can prevent conflict from devolving into quarreling and strife when you are mindful of your emotions and thoughtful of the other.
1 Pet. 3:8-9	The best “defense” is a strong offense of love. Resist the temptation to fire back at somebody who insults you. It is a credit to your strength when you find a way to stand your ground while responding in ways that show understanding and love. Humility and compassion help you to relate harmoniously with others.
2 Tim. 2:23	Spend your time and energy on the essentials of the faith and help people to stay focused on the person of Jesus Christ; it tends to be the non-essential doctrines that produce unproductive debates (Titus 1:9; 3:9).
2 Tim. 2:25-26	Be gentle in how you “instruct” others. By approaching and addressing people in gentleness and love, you will be more effective in leading them (and yourself!) into God’s truth and peace.
Jms. 1:19	Group participants will be better equipped to distinguish between constructive and unconstructive conflict as they take their time to listen and learn what others are communicating. It also enriches your group’s Bible study and discussion.
Jms. 5:16	Vulnerability and honesty are the greatest safeguards against unhealthy conflict. They strengthen the unity of the group and raise its level of compassion.
Prov. 18:8	Gossip breeds destructive conflict and breaks down trust within the group. If somebody says something unsubstantiated or speculative about another person (even if they are “passing along” what they have heard from another), call it into question and move on. Don’t back down from contending for a transforming environment by snuffing out gossip. (2 Cor. 12:20; cf. 1 Tim. 5:19)
Mt. 12:25; Prov. 6:16-19	Disagreement and discord can grow into divisiveness. The enemy is constantly at work to divide God’s people and like sin, the longer it goes unaddressed, the more powerful it becomes. Love can conquer anything that causes dissension.

Conflict is not something to rush into or to avoid. It can threaten to be a separator, but the Bible shows us how we can use it as a connector. It can be a “blessing in disguise” when we handle it with biblical wisdom. God, in His grace, gives us ways we can deal with conflict so that relationships grow in ways they would not have without it. In fact, conflict can be the very thing God uses to ‘draw out’ authenticity and empower people to be more real with each other. It can be the key that allows us to experience the wholeness and life that comes with biblical community (Acts 2:42-47).

Reid Smith has been equipping leaders in churches of all sizes and stages of growth for effective disciple-making since 1996. He currently serves as a Pastor of Groups at Christ Fellowship in Palm Beach County, FL and has been a contributing author for various publications, including LifeWay’s Ministry Grid. Learn more about how to start and multiply healthy groups throughout your church at www.reidsmith.org.

Uncategorized

August 16, 2019

Leading Inter-Generational Small Groups Toward Transformation

By Group Ministry

by Jared Musgrove

We adults have a lot to learn. One of the fantastic opportunities we have as small group leaders is to lean into the normal phases of adult transformation. Because isn’t that what we are all hoping and praying and working toward in a small group? To see lives transformed by the gospel of Jesus Christ. No matter the person’s age or life stage.

There are so many opportunities for leading an inter-generational small group. At the forefront, such a group looks a lot more like the body of Christ with varied ages and stages and backgrounds and ethnicities and ranges of walks with God in the living room. Together. For the gospel. That’s the immediate opportunity and your strategy can be to call this out at the start of your first night of group. And again on the second night and on into the second year. For however long the Lord has you together, never let your inter-generational group members lose the wonder of Christian unity across the ranges of our lives and experiences with Him.

Transformation in childhood is so different than what we as adults of all ages experience. Adult transformations tend to come not just from a new idea or knowledge, but a life lived, directed by truth. Know your Bible. And don’t forget to live your Bible. In the company of spiritual friends.

Small group is an essential environment for this type of adult transformation via life-on-life disciplemaking.

Here’s what we can know and pray and work toward in our inter-generational groups: Every adult, regardless of age, transforms via three core elements that correspond with our Christian faith and the Bible’s story:

A new idea encountered (John 3:18, Romans 12:1, Phil. 4:8)

This is Jesus with the crowds, perhaps even the 70 who regularly walked with Him. This is a sermon about that affected someone in the group. Or maybe a confession from a group member that signals to another that there is a way that seems right to man but in the end leads to destruction. Maybe a group member shares about a population in your city who need help. You were never before aware of these things.

Encountering can also offer a solution to the problem. Freedom, emancipation, is the main theme of this beginning transformation by the renewing of the adult mind, regardless of age (Romans 12:1-2). This is where the Philippians 4:8 command to think on “whatever is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable… excellent” begins.

This is where the gospel begins to take root. Where you “know” that your old self was crucified, you believe that if you’ve died with him then you will live with him, you know that death no longer has dominion over him (Romans 6:6-11, 14-23). You know that you know. You are strengthened in your inner being so that Christ may dwell in your heart through faith (Ephesians 3:16).

But it cannot end there. No adult truly thinks or transforms alone.

Community as core (Ephesians 4:1ff)

This is Jesus with the 12 disciples. At times even just with Peter, James, and John. This is the small group where honest questions are asked and answered forthrightly, wrestling and verbal processing can be done out loud and in a safe environment, admonishments occur based in personal love and concern for God’s design; the small group is where knowledge of God, self, and friends begins to form and transform the persons in the group.

This small group space is critical to how adults, of any age, conform more into the image of Christ. When you have an inter-generational group, recognize that we are all learning, forming, and transforming along this path. The community is key. The soul is the center of the action. The people in your group, regardless of age, are relational creatures. Ephesians 4-6 help use see is that there is no significant transformation in a person apart from another person or persons. Each man or woman in that small group is in danger of being tossed to and fro, but when we speak the truth to each other in love we grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ.

But you can’t walk it alone. You have to step out.

Transformed action taken (James 1:19-25; 2:14, 26)

In your walk with God there is always the encounter, the community, and then the action taken. This is the journey outward, but it can and must not leave the learning or the community behind. You take it with you into the work, in to sharing faith. This is the step of the path where you are not a hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, blessed in your action (James 1:25).

This is Jesus sending His disciples to the crowds and the nations. This is the Great Commission (Matthew 28:19-20) on display in the group’s life together. This is sharing the gospel, together. It may be serving shut-ins or a local nursing home. It may be blessing first-year teachers at your local schools. It may be street evangelism at your local shops. It is your journey outward, together. And it must occur. We know that faith — and community — without works is dead.

So regardless the age range in your group, there’s work to do together. We are all on a pathway to further transform and become more like Christ today than yesterday. That’s the constant commonality in an intergenerational group. There’s always opportunity for growth in the gospel. It never gets old.

Jared Steven Musgrove serves as Groups Pastor and elder at The Village Church in Flower Mound, Texas. He earned a bachelor’s degree in journalism from The University of Oklahoma, a Master of Divinity in preaching from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, and a Doctorate of Ministry in leadership from The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. He is the husband of Jenny and the father of two sons, Jordan and Joshua. You can follow him on Twitter @jsmusgrove

Group Answers Podcast

August 7, 2019

Group Answers Episode 112: Trevin Wax on Discipleship Trends

By Group Ministry

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On this episode of Group Answers, Chris and Brian talk to Trevin Wax about discipleship trends.

Trevin Wax is Director for Bibles and Reference at LifeWay Christian Resources and a visiting professor at Wheaton College. He is the general editor of The Gospel Project, and the author of recent books This Is Our Time, Eschatological Discipleship, and Gospel Centered Teaching.

Questions:

What is multi-directional leadership? Why is this important not only for church leaders, but for group leaders as well?
In a groups context, what is the fallout of the apparent increase of polarization in our current climate?
There is a growing generational divide in how best to express our loyalty to God and our loyalty to our country. What are the takeaways as you have engaged both our culture and the church in this regard?
We all agree that community is essential and relationships are crucial for both the examined and the disciple’s life. So why are we so enamored with exploring a deserted island and what does this have to say about us?
What are some trends that you can share with us about Bible engagement?
What advice would you give group leaders about discipleship based on what you’ve learned over the last year?

Quotes:

A one-directional leader only looks in one direction for danger. A multi-directional leader knows that there are multiple ways in which danger might encroach upon a flock.
Social media exacerbates and polarizes so much of our discourse.
What group leaders have is an opportunity to actually speak truth to a small group of people.
Know the group you have and push in the direction they would be least likely to go.
Scripture speaks to a bigger variety of issues than our political parties do.
A lot of older Evangelicals see America as Israel, and a lot of younger Evangelicals see America as Babylon.
In life, you are thrown into a family you didn’t choose, and you have to make do.
You can’t know a hundred people really well, but you can know ten people.
How do people in our groups see the narrative of their lives?

This Episode’s Sponsor: With Ministry Grid’s library of over 3,000 training videos, it’s now simpler than ever to train every volunteer and leader in your church. And this is training you can trust. Each Ministry Gridvideo features an experienced ministry leader who has been where you are now. Learn how to get unlimited access for you and your church at MinistryGrid.com.

Church Leadership

July 2, 2019

Looking Beyond Our Group’s Comfort

By Group Ministry

by Tyler Quillet

As a former pastor, I led a number of different small groups. Couples groups in our home, Sunday morning groups, men’s groups, young adult groups, you name it. I’ve led enough groups to ashamedly be able to say that I oftentimes preferred comfort and consistency over change. See, when my wife and I were in a group with the same couples, we got comfortable around each other. It was easy to get together, hang out, and talk about Jesus together. There was nothing difficult about getting together with good friends. The idea of bringing new people into the group oftentimes felt like a daunting task. What if they mess up the camaraderie we have? What if people don’t feel comfortable sharing in front of them? The new people won’t get our inside jokes. What if they just aren’t a good fit?

I admit it. I’ve been that leader. I’ve been the leader who got comfy and didn’t want to rock the boat. I’ve been the leader who liked the group I was with and didn’t want to chance shaking things up. I’ve been the leader who was more concerned about my own comfortability than new people in our church getting connected and being discipled. I’m ashamed to say I was that leader, which is no leader at all.

Fast forward from my time in church ministry to a new adventure for our family. We moved five hundred miles from anything we’d ever known. New state, new community, new everything. Before we even found a church home, we met a couple who would eventually turn out to be great friends. They invited us to their small group before we even visited their church! They were willing to invite two complete strangers into an existing group that had been together for a long time. They had no problem with us hopping in and potentially rocking the boat. And, for that, we are forever grateful!

You see, we went from leading groups for years in our own home to needing our navigation app to find the home of our new small group full of strangers. We walked into that house having never met anyone but our new “friends”, who we had just met weeks prior. They all welcomed us with open arms. We ate together, laughed together, got to know one-another, and spent incredible time in God’s word together. They weren’t concerned about someone messing up the good thing they had going. They were only concerned with a new family in town getting connected and feeling loved.

Almost two years later, and this is our church family, who we love dearly. A group stepped outside of their comfort zone, focused on the mission of Jesus Christ and not of their own hearts. This group could have stayed comfy, doing week after week together as friends. Instead, they stepped outside their comfort zone with a missional mindset. For this, we are thankful.

I look back on how blessed we were to be so welcomed into an existing group. At the same time, I feel guilty for not having that same missional mindset with our groups years ago. I made it more about me than I did the mission of Jesus. I wonder now how many families fell through the cracks or never got connected because we were comfortable within our circle. I wonder how many people still don’t know Christ because we never invited them into a discipling opportunity.

If you are a group that has gotten comfortable together, let me encourage / challenge you in five specific ways moving forward:

Begin to pray as a group for opportunities to invite new people in.
Have eyes open for potential group members or ask your pastor for suggestions.
Invite new people into your group and prepare your group to welcome new members.
Welcome your guests with open arms, make them feel at home, and love on them well.
Don’t stop inviting new guests and creating new groups!

Throughout scripture, we see those on mission constantly stepping out of their comfort zones. There aren’t many (or any) times that we see those on mission being comfortable amongst their circle, unwilling to step into new and unfamiliar relationships. May we the church, may we as leaders, may we as groups continue to step outside of what is comfortable, trusting Jesus to give us what we need to move toward others with the hope that we may have opportunities to point them to Jesus. What would it look like for your group to look beyond its own comfort today? Go do it, and ask the Lord to be glorified in it!

Tyler Quillet is the Discipleship Strategist for the Custom Bible Study team at LifeWay Christian Resources. He lives in the Nashville, TN, area with his incredible wife, Cathie, and two boys, Cylas and Bowen. Tyler also speaks, writes, and coaches alongside Cathie as they pour into and love on the infertile community through Cathie’s “The Missing Peace Project”. Tyler previously spent 15 years as a pastor and is passionate about serving churches and pouring into church leaders in a variety of ways.

Church Leadership

July 1, 2019

The Importance of Rest for the Small Group leader

By Group Ministry

by Will Johnston

Some of you don’t need this post.

If you feel like your day and your week have a good rhythm; if you aren’t burnt out, exhausted, or stressed; if you seem to have enough time to get everything done that you need to do, then feel free to skip this one.

This post is for the people who aren’t sure how they’re going to get everything done, whose task list outpaces their availability, who feel like they’re juggling not just one too many things but three too many things.

If that’s you, I want to let you in on a little secret. There’s always more to do.

I remember being in college and having this feeling of relief after finals were over. Suddenly, there was nothing more I had to do. There was no more homework, no more studying, no more stress. In an instant, it was all gone. It was a great feeling.

Unfortunately, I don’t get that feeling very often any more. There’s always another email, another meeting, another project. In fact, I’m writing this post at the last minute, the day that I need to send it in, because there’s been so much to do that I’m just now getting to it.

So how do we find rest in the middle of the busyness of life?

I would suggest that we need to find healthy and sustainable rhythms of life. Our world is not going to get less busy, less chaotic, less demanding. We have to make good (and often difficult) choices in the midst of the chaos.

What do you need to say no to?

It’s not hard to say no to bad things.

Hey, want to volunteer your time with a hate group?

It’s not that hard to say no to that one. But how about:

Don’t you want your kids to get into a good college? Make sure they’re well rounded and in lots of extracurriculars.

Want to be financially secure? A few real estate investments can help make that a reality.

The church needs people to serve on the missions committee. Would you be willing?

Those things are harder to say no to. Who doesn’t want their kids to go to a good school, to be financially secure, or to help missionaries share the gospel? But saying yes to too many things quickly leads to that all-too-familiar feeling of stress.

Just yesterday my pastor shared in his sermon that he and his wife capped their kids’ extracurricular activities to two at one time. With three kids, that’s still a lot of practices, recitals, games, and lessons, but it helped keep the pace of life more sustainable.

When you take stock of your life now, what are the things you’re currently doing or the “opportunities” that have been presented to you that you might need to say no to? You might not be able to stop everything you should right away. You might need to finish out the season, the ministry season, etc., but you can make decisions now that will impact your pace of life going forward.

When do you Sabbath?

Observing the Sabbath is one of the Ten Commandments, but honestly, I don’t think it’s a hard and fast command under the New Covenant the same way that it was under Mosaic Law.

Jesus said in Mark 2:27, “The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath.” Not keeping the Sabbath is like eating McDonalds for every meal. It’s not that it’s necessarily a sin. It’s just not a good idea. It’s not very healthy. God gave us the Sabbath as a gift, because He wants good for us.

God doesn’t need to punish us if we don’t keep the Sabbath. Never taking a day of rest is punishment enough in itself.

One of the best decisions I ever made was to set aside one day as a day of rest. I don’t do it perfectly. There are certainly weeks that I end up working on my Sabbath. But setting aside one day where I can do the things I want to do rather than the things I have to do helps keep me sane.

Just one quick note on the Sabbath… it’s not about a list of rules. You might have grown up in a home where Sunday was the Lord’s Day and that essentially meant you weren’t supposed to do anything fun. I don’t think that’s what Jesus had in mind when he said that the Sabbath was made for man. Don’t worry so much about what are appropriate and inappropriate Sabbath activities, and just do the things that bring you joy and life.

What is your small group rhythm?

Since this is a resource for small group leaders, I thought I should mention something about healthy rhythms surrounding small groups.

There are different ideas about this. Some people think small groups should take breaks, that meeting nearly every week all year long is too much. Others think that it’s weird to take a break from your friends. If we’re truly in community, truly doing life together, then why would we stop?

Here’s my take on it, I think it can be healthy for small groups to take a break occasionally. At my church we run our groups on semesters, and there’s a four to eight week break between semesters. A few of our long standing groups don’t really take these breaks, but they’ll take the summer off.

I don’t necessarily need a break from my friends, but I might need a break from cleaning my house on Tuesday nights or from preparing to lead a discussion every week or from making sure someone has brought snacks. When someone in my group needs a break, they just don’t show up. But that’s not really an option for me. They’re coming to my house.

I’ve found that these breaks help me stay energized and excited about leading a group. And honestly, I’ve found that they actually help my group members stay excited about being in the group, because even when they say and think they don’t want to take a break, after a few months, they get a bit burnt out.

Rarely will anyone make you rest. If you want to find rest, you’re going to have to go looking for it and be willing to make some hard decisions. But if you do, your small group, your friends, your family, and your own soul will thank you for it.

Will Johnston is the Director of Build Community at Eastside Community Church in Anaheim, California. Will graduated from Wheaton College with a degree in theology, did a two-and-a-half year stint on Capitol Hill, and then joined the staff of National Community Church in Washington D.C., where he oversaw small groups.

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