Group Dynamics Archives - Group Ministry

January 13, 2020

When Bridezilla Leads a Group

What makes a sweet, charming, happily engaged young lady turn into BRIDEZILLA? (Cue ominous organ music.) She was sweet and charming; that’s why Mr. Right fell in love with her. But as the big wedding day gets closer and closer, her personality slowly changes and enough tension fills the air that electrical transformers begin to buzz as she passes by. Out of the murky waters of wedding planning rises—cue ominous music again—BRIDEZILLA!

What feeds Bridezilla? The desire for everything in the wedding to be perfect and go off without a hitch (as she … um, gets hitched).

When it comes to my Bible study group, I’m no Bridezilla —at least I haven’t heard the ominous organ music—but I do want everything to go off without a hitch. And the studies I lead would go perfectly except for one thing: people keep showing up and disrupting my plan.

My cardinal rule for leading a group is: BE PREPARED. I want a well-planned Bible study. I have sat in groups where the leaders asked “What do you all want to talk about today” and “What do you think that passage means?” Sharing our ignorance or flying by the seat of our pants is no way to lead in transformational Bible study. We expect our pastors to be prepared when they stand up to preach—and it should be no different when we facilitate a group Bible study.

However, we face a potential pitfall if we’re too prepared.

I think back to some of my carefully crafted studies. Every moment was filled with richness … questions to really make you think … clever illustrations … activities you would remember on your deathbed. If the apostle Paul was in the group, he would say, “Wow. I hadn’t thought of that.”

Yet when the group meets, the discussion drifts slightly—not a full-blown chase-a-rabbit tangent—but just not on point with my golden plan. Another discussion runs long and we have no time for an activity. Or the wi-fi is splotchy and my cool video illustration is stuck on the shoulder of the information highway.

The best laid plans of mice and Bible study leaders. Yet in spite of all that, the most amazing thing happens: God still worked! It just wasn’t the way I thought He would work—or more accurately, the way I planned for Him to work.

So I’ve added an addendum to my cardinal rule. I first heard it from Henry Blackaby in his instructions for those who lead Experiencing God groups: Be prepared—and be prepared for the Holy Spirit to work. In other words, do your homework. Plan activities. Find a great video clip. Study the passage well. But be prepared for the Holy Spirit to lead—even if it is in a different direction that you had planned.

That’s OK. After all, He knows what’s truly on the hearts of those in my group. He knows what they need to hear, learn, or experience that week. I don’t need to be the Sunday School version of Bridezilla. I can be prepared and ready for God to work His agenda.

Lynn Pryor is a team leader for adult resources at LifeWay. He and his wife, Mary, lead a Bible study group for young adults and have survived raising two sons to adulthood. A graduate of Southwestern Seminary, Lynn has previously pastored and served churches in Texas. Follow him on his blog at lynnhpryor.com.

Church Leadership

January 9, 2020

Seven Keys to a Successful Groups Launch

By Chris Surratt

The beginning of the year is a perfect time to launch new small groups at a church. January is normally a growth season for churches, as people return after making spiritual growth resolutions. Whether you decide to launch a campaign with all of your groups studying the same content for a few weeks, or just have new groups available for new people to join, there are a few things you can do to help the launch go as smoothly as possible.

1. Provide coaches for new leaders.

No matter how much training you provide for your new leaders, they will almost always run into issues during group meetings that they need answers for. The best source for providing those answers will be seasoned group leaders who have been there before. Every new leader should be assigned a veteran leader that can be one email or phone call away when questions arise.

2. Start enough groups for expected growth.

Before you launch your groups, make sure there are enough groups to accommodate the people wanting to join. It’s much easier for new people to stick to a new group than an existing one. Existing groups already have relationships formed and a new person will feel left out, no matter how open the group members are. Use last year’s January attendance numbers to help calculate how many new groups and coaches you will need to recruit before your sign-up weeks.

3. Use multiple weeks for sign-ups.

Most people only attend church one or two Sundays a month. If you only offer sign-ups for small groups on one weekend, you will miss over half of your congregation. Sign-ups should be offered at least two weeks in a row, with opportunities also available on the website for those who still missed it.

4. Have the senior pastor make the initial push.

If biblical community is an important piece of discipleship for your church, then the initial call should come from the senior leader. The congregation will need to hear the “why” behind small groups before they understand the “what.” No one can do that better than the lead vision caster for the church.

5. Provide biblically solid, easy-to-use curriculum.

It’s easy to spend a lot of time thinking about the details of the launch and little on what the groups will be studying. If groups are going to make disciples, they will need an easy-to-use Bible study to spur the necessary discipleship conversations. Aligning your groups with the Sunday messages is a good direction to start with. SmallGroup.com can help you write solid sermon-based studies without taking too much of your time.

6. Be ready to adjust after the launch.

It doesn’t matter much preparation you have put in before the launch, there will inevitably be groups that never get off of the ground. It may be because of location, time, personality or many other factors, but you have to be ready to adjust for those new leaders. Look for a way to combine groups in the same area, or ask the leaders to help another group for a semester before launching again in the spring.

7. Give groups a next step after launch.

If you want your groups to continue to succeed after the initial launch, you need to think about easy next steps for them. What will they study after the short-term campaign is over? Will they continue with a coach? Will they need to add group members at the next sign-up opportunity? Provide a roadmap for them, and your new groups will last beyond the first semester.

Chris Surratt is a ministry consultant and coach with over 22 years of experience serving the local church. Chris served on the Executive Team at Cross Point Church in Nashville, TN, and was on staff at Seacoast Church in Charleston, SC, for 15 years. He also manages SmallGroup.com for LifeWay Christian Resources. Chris’s first book, Small Groups For The Rest Of Us: How to Design Your Small Groups System to Reach the Fringes, was just released by Thomas Nelson. You can follow his blog at chrissurratt.com or follow him on Twitter @chrissurratt.

Church Leadership

January 2, 2020

Name Tags and the 3 Essentials of Group Ministry

By David Francis

LifeWay Groups Ministry holds to three essential qualities that every group ought to demonstrate:

disciple making
community building
culture shaping

One thing that can help build all three qualities are name tags. Some of you who know me or have read any of the twelve little books I’ve written about groups know how strongly I feel about name tags. Here is another installment!

1. Community Building. Nothing makes a newcomer to your group feel more at ease than a room full of people wearing name tags. Nothing! Community starts with names. Then stories connected to those names. Then stories that connect people to one another. So make a regular practice of sharing a piece of who you are everytime you wear name tags. Which should be every time! We can make tons of connections in just a few weeks of a new small group by asking everyone to print three lines on their name tags:

FIRST NAME (all caps)

last name (smaller)

Something about your assignment

The last line can be anything—post a topic in the room or on the table where people make their name tags. Favorite movie. Where you were born. Sports team you cheer for. Year you moved to town. Favorite book you’ve read this year. (Anybody can say “the Bible!”) I’ve seen tons of unexpected connections made this way.

2. Disciple Making. Discussion is more meaningful if the discussers can call each other by name. That’s another reason to print your first names in all caps. That way they can be seen easily across the room. I have visited dozens of Bible study groups all over America. The ones where almost everyone was wearing a name tag were not just more friendly. The Bible study was just better. Jack and Yolanda are new members of our small group. They were back again this week. They asked to be put on the email prayer list—and asked me to resend the link to a spiritual gifts inventory they had missed. Confession: We didn’t get out the name tags until they showed up. But we did get them out. It mattered.

3. Culture Shaping. One of the most inspiring stories I know about name tags happened in Boston in 2007. Forty thousand nametags were distributed at Fenway Park as fans entered a game. About half wore them. The sponsor? The Boston Police Department Crime Watch Unit! It was based on a program implemented in subway suburb Jamaica Plain by officer Joseph Porcelli. He began a movement that encouraged people to wear name tags everyday everywhere, and it actually had a dramatic measurable effect on the crime rate! Why? People who know each other by name are more likely to look out for one another. That’s all. That’s significant. That’s enough.

David Francis is Director of Sunday School at LifeWay. He is the author of eleven small books available for free at lifeway.com/davidfrancis or at the iTunes store. His interactive Bible study, Spiritual Gifts, is in its ninth printing and is not free! (But it is available to order at lifeway.com.) He and his wife Vickie teach four- and five-year olds in Sunday School and are members of a small group of empty nesters. Their three sons and their families live in three different time zones—Boston, Los Angeles, and Bryan-College Station.

Church Leadership

December 9, 2019

Three Ways to Take the Temperature of Your Group

By Michael Kelley

My family will tell you that I’m a thermostat control freak. I have a day marked on my calendar when I have arbitrarily determined it’s acceptable to flip on the air conditioning or the heater, depending on the season. And even when those systems come on, they’re never set quite how my family would prefer.

They’d sure like the AC to flip on before it gets to be 76 degrees, and they’d probably enjoy the heater coming on before it gets to 65. Thing is, though, I like it just fine. I actually get quite a bit of satisfaction when I’m sweating in our living room, or when I’m bundled up at the kitchen table. It makes me feel tough; it makes me feel frugal. (Notice I said frugal. Not cheap. Can I get an amen from the dads out there?)

But even as I write this, I’m realizing that those under my care don’t have the same sensibilities I do. I have created an environment in the home that I like, appreciate, and enjoy, but those within the environment I’ve created might not be having the same reaction. Sure, I can simply dismiss their feelings and keep the thermostat the way I like it, but as a leader in the home I would do well to “take the temperature” of my family to see how they’re responding to the temperature of our home.

It’s a bit of a silly illustration, but the principle is strong, I believe. When you find yourself in a leadership role, whether in an organization, a small group, or a home, there is a certain temperature you have created in that environment. As godly leaders, we are not only responsible for setting the temperature; we are responsible for knowing how the temperature we have set is affecting those who have to live inside it.

When you take the temperature, you are making sure that you have not done something detrimental to the people living in it. You are humbly acknowledging that the culture you have intentionally created is having its desired effect, which is moving people closer and closer to Jesus. And you are also acknowledging that you are not the ultimate authority, and that like any other human, you might have made a mistake and created an environment that is having unintended consequences.

So how can you take the temperature inside the environment you lead? I would suggest at least three ways:

1. Listen. Most of the time, people who sit in your environment are talking. Many times it’s the easiest thing in the world to become so convinced that you’re right and your decisions are valid that you purposely choose not to listen to those who are speaking. But if you really want to know the temperature of the environment you’ve created, you’ve got to make sure your ears are open.

Of course, when you’re listening to others, you must also be listening to the voice of the Holy Spirit. That’s because not every voice you hear will be right or even helpful. So through the wisdom that only God will provide, you and I must learn who and what to listen to and when is the right moment to take heed.

2. Observe. Let me go back to the illustration of our home. It’s possible that my sweet wife knows by now that I like the thermostat set at a certain temperature. And though she might not like it that way, she has decided in her godly heart to not press the issue; instead, she has decided to wear a scarf and gloves to the dinner table.

Many times observation is an even more helpful method of taking the temperature than listening. That’s because people always communicate even when they’re not speaking. They communicate through their body language, their gestures, and even the indirect questions they ask. Watch, observe, take note—people will tell you what the temperature is even when they don’t tell you what the temperature is.

3. Ask. Of these three, this is the most obvious, but it’s also the one I think we do the least. We can actually, verbally, ask the question. Why don’t we do this more?

I would posit it’s because we already know what the answer is, and we don’t want to really hear it. That’s because when we do, we have to react to what we suspect but are unwilling to admit to ourselves. This is a humbling thing; it means we may have to adjust the “perfect plan” we had in place, and it means we have to admit that we, too, make mistakes.

But in those moments, we would do well to ask ourselves whether we would rather live with an illusion or pursue a better future? We can actually find someone we trust, someone we know will tell us the truth, and actually ask the question.

If you find yourself in a leadership role, friends, be it of an organization, church, group, or something else, don’t be afraid to take the temperature of the environment you are stewarding. Don’t be so married to your good intentions that you fail to embrace reality.

Michael Kelley lives in Nashville, TN, with his wife, Jana, and three children: Joshua (10), Andi (7), and Christian (5). He serves as Director of Groups Ministry for Lifeway Christian Resources. As a communicator, Michael speaks across the country at churches, conferences, and retreats and is the author of Wednesdays Were Pretty Normal: A Boy, Cancer, and God; Transformational Discipleship; and Boring: Finding an Extraordinary God in an Ordinary Life. Find him on Twitter: @_MichaelKelley.

Church Leadership

November 25, 2019

Five Ways to Care for Hurting People During the Holidays

By Group Ministry

by Rick Howerton

While many people enjoy the holiday season more than any other time of the year, there are others who struggle to find any joy in it at all. In fact, for many people, this time of year is devastating and debilitating. A broken relationship, a haunting seasonal memory, the death of a friend or family member, or the inability to bless their family with the kind of gifts others are receiving plants a dark cloud over many, especially when they are seeing the masses celebrating passionately when they are hurting deeply.

So how does a small group leader show the love of Christ to those who are living in the midst of the dark night of the soul?

1. Be an active listener while disciplining yourself not to give advice.

For many in this situation, all they need is a listening ear. They need the opportunity to share with someone what they’re feeling and why they’re hurting so deeply. Allow them to say anything they need to say without telling them what they need to do. You can’t fix what’s broken, but you can help them release of some of their emotional intensity.

2. Exercise the ministry of “presence.”

For many, aloneness is what causes their greatest pain. Invite the person to your home to spend the evening without any agenda in mind. In fact, it may be best just to invite them to come for dinner and spend the evening with you and your family.

3. Worship with the hurting individual.

If the person you’re aiding is single, or they’re single when they attend worship at the church (their spouse doesn’t attend church), simply invite them to sit with you. In the presence of God, emotions often flow freely allowing you to be there to comfort them and, in many instances, allowing you to be there and encourage them to trust God in the midst of their darkness.

4. Text words of encouragement often.

Texting has opened the door to encourage in the moment when we don’t have the time for elongated conversations. Use this approach wisely. Don’t bombard the person with statements telling them that it will all work out (this is a promise you can’t honestly make), or that they just need to claim God’s promises. By the way, once a day would be best, twice a day would be optimal.

5. Invite the individual to celebrate the holiday with you—if it’s appropriate in your situation.

That is, if the person is going to spend the holiday alone. Be certain this is agreed to by your family, as many families prefer to spend the holiday with relatives only.

Rick Howerton is the South Central Regional Consultant for the Kentucky Baptist Convention. He has authored many small group studies, is a highly sought-after trainer and speaker, and is the author of Destination Community: Small Group Ministry Manual as well as A Different Kind of Tribe: Embracing the New Small Group Dynamic. He is also the co-author of Disciples Path: A Practical Guide to Disciple Making and Countdown: Launching and Leading Transformational Groups. But Rick’s deepest passion and his goal in life is to see “a biblical small group within walking distance of every person on the planet making disciples that make disciples.”

Church Leadership

November 21, 2019

Missional Small Groups

By Group Ministry

by Reid Smith

Outreach has a way of turning groups inside-out. Not a bad thing. Struggling groups and small group ministries have found help not by focusing on their own internal issues, but by looking beyond their problems and giving attention to the needs of those beyond their immediate relational circles.

Small groups are essential to empowering God’s people in mission. They are not meant to add new comfort zones for people, but rather create environments where believers can be emboldened to go beyond their comfort zones and to do things they never imagined themselves doing. Every group can find a way to be missional in a manner that is natural for its own unique group dynamic. To not do so is a big miss.

A small group becomes missional as it develops a heart and mindset that is aware and deliberate about sharing the Good News through word and deed with those who have yet to know Christ as their Savior and Lord. As the small group leader, if you don’t take the lead in cultivating this “outward-orientation” to your group life then it is very unlikely somebody else in the group will. So let people know at the beginning of your group that finding ways for everyone to share their faith will be an important part of your life together that will ensure everyone’s experience in the group is healthy and life-changing.

The Lord will show your group how it can make a difference in every sphere of influence (Acts 1:8). You might begin by thinking through what constitutes Jerusalem (local-citywide), Judea (citywide-regional), Samaria (statewide-countrywide), and the ends of the earth (countrywide-worldwide) for your group. What does each sphere look like and what opportunities exist within each? Ask the group to come up with examples for each area of influence.

Take time to answer questions and give each one a part to play in organizing for outreach together. You might even want to go to the effort of linking outreach/evangelism with the vision and values of your small group. Explain how the community of your group can be instrumental in helping each one fulfill their calling to be an evangelist and bring biblical truths to life (Acts 2:42-47; 1 Pet 2:9-10; 2 Tim 4:5).

An easy way you can encourage group members to engage in personal evangelism is to turn your attention to people who are not a part of your group during your prayer time, especially those who are already in their relational circles. Prayer builds care. Don’t just give permission for them to invite friends…tell them you want them to invite their friends!

Learn about the neighborhood where you meet, the needs in your community, and ways your church is already reaching out that your group can join in and support. You might even want to reserve a meeting to talk about your discoveries so that your group can be strategic in its prayer and outreach.

There are a variety of ways your group can reach out together:

Invitational – invite your friends to your group and your church.
Event-based – Link your small group outreach to your church events and serve together during your weekend services or special outreach events.
Community-focused – Check out servantevangelism.com for some practical ideas then identify needs in your community that touch your group’s heart and serve together, e.g. community clean-up day, providing school supplies for underprivileged kids, food delivery, helping the homeless, etc.
Sponsorship – support a child (compassion.com) or adopt a people group (joshuaproject.net or adopt-a-people.org), starting with a little research and concerted prayer.
Mission Trips – Contact a member of your church’s pastoral leadership team and share that your group would like to go on a mission trip together. Learn about what your church is already doing and get a couple of recommendations on organizations that can help with planning it.

Missional small groups are not only about reaching those outside of our groups. It is also about reaching those inside of our groups so they can be built up and reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God (Eph 4:13). Small groups that allow God to turn them inside-out will experience the transformational joy of impacting lives for eternity and they mature spiritually in ways they never would have if members had never ventured beyond their own comfort zones.

Reid Smith has been equipping leaders in churches of all sizes and stages of growth for effective disciple-making since 1996. He currently serves as a Pastor of Groups at Christ Fellowship in Palm Beach County, FL and has been a contributing author for various publications, including LifeWay’s Ministry Grid. Learn more about how to start and multiply healthy groups throughout your church at www.reidsmith.org.

Church Leadership

November 14, 2019

When Your Group isn’t Responsive

By Group Ministry

Listen! The sower went out to sow.” —Mark 4:3

The sower’s work is unimpressive. Try to picture the sower scattering the seed by hand. He walks 20 miles in a day, up and down the same field, and when he comes home his legs are tired and his arms are aching.

He looks back over the field, and it strikes him that after all his work the field looks exactly the same as it did that morning. Nothing has changed. He has worked all day, and what does he have to show for it? His effort hasn’t made any observable difference.

This is the hidden pressure of all spiritual work. I sometimes envy the guys who work in construction. At the end of the day you can see what you accomplished. But open the Word with your small group and sometimes you wonder if you’ve done anything at all!

Remember the Beatles’ song “Eleanor Rigby”?

Eleanor Rigby died in the church and was buried along with her name.
Nobody came.

Father Mackenzie, wiping the dirt from his hands as he walks from the grave.
No one was saved.

Anyone who pours their energy into sharing the gospel knows what this is like: you work hard to sow the seed of the Word. But what comes of it?

How does the sower sustain himself in this work? How does he (or she) keep going? By having great confidence in the seed. The sower continues his work, because he is deeply convinced that the seed he is planting will bring a harvest pleasing to God.

I’ve been greatly helped by seeing that the doctrine of Scripture is not just what the Bible is (it is the word of God), but what the Bible does (it does the work of God).

The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul. The statutes of the Lord are trustworthy, making wise the simple. The precepts of the Lord are right, giving joy to the heart. The commands of the Lord are radiant, giving light to the eyes.” —Psalm 19:7-8

This Word is perfect, trustworthy, right, and radiant…that’s what the Scripture is. It revives the soul, makes the simple wise, gives joy to the heart, and light to the eyes…that’s what the Scripture does! And it does these things precisely because the Word of God is living and active and sharper than a two-edged sword.

How do you sustain a ministry of the Word to your small group? Have confidence in this seed. Believe what Jesus is telling us here—this is how God’s kingdom comes. This is how Christ’s church is established. This is how lives are changed in every culture and generation.

Colin Smith (MPhil, London School of Theology) is Senior Pastor of The Orchard Evangelical Free Church, a multi-campus church in the northwest suburbs of Chicago, and his ministry extends through his radio program Unlocking the Bible. He is also committed to mentoring next-generation pastors, missionaries, and church-planters through The Orchard Network. Colin and his wife, Karen, have two married sons and four grand-daughters.

Church Leadership

November 7, 2019

10 Ways to Optimize Small Group Bible Study

By Group Ministry

by Reid Smith

As a small group leader, there are things that you can do in your preparation for your gatherings that can optimize the impact of God’s Word on people’s lives (Hebrews 4:12). These practices will actually help your group members get the most out of your Bible study together and become more responsive to the transformational work of the Holy Spirit in their lives:

1. Pray for it – Give each gathering over to Jesus. Pray for each group member by name. Ask for specific break-throughs and invite the Holy Spirit to have His way.

2. Preview it – It is well worth taking 15-minutes before each meeting to…

Read the key passages in at least two different translations (bible.com or biblegateway.com)
Refer to cross-references and commentaries to give yourself a good feel of the context.
Review the questions that are a part of the study you are using and select ones you sense your group will grab onto the best.
Reduce the volume of material given by 50%. This helps the group time feel more relaxed and more focused, which increases overall participation.
Rephrase the questions you decide to use in ways you think will spark further dialogue. Restating the same question in different ways helps some people formulate their thoughts.

3. Facilitate it – Don’t get into ‘teaching mode’ or feel like you have to have all the answers. You want your group’s Bible study to be a peer-to-peer learning experience where every person’s insight and personality influences the discussion. Here are some reusable questions that can enliven the dynamic of any discussion:

- What stands out to you in this passage? What impacted you during the reading?
- Was there something read that is new for you, reaffirming, confusing or challenging?
- How can we apply this to our lives today?
- How could this be shared with people who do not yet know Christ?
- Be patient with moments of silence. If nobody shares after a few seconds, put the question in another way. Here are a few other facilitation tips that will help to accelerate spiritual conversations: 1) Be ready to answer questions briefly and naturally if nobody initiates after giving a prolonged pause 2) People think primarily in pictures so try to portray a topic visually by applying questions to personal stories or hypothetical situations 3) Provide guardrails to keep the discussion on track so you don’t drift too far off topic.

4. Include them – When people feel included, they feel like they belong. When people feel like they belong, they want to engage. When people are engaged, they grow. Time may not allow for every person to participate in the way they would like, but you can help them feel more included by…

- Giving each person a purpose to fulfill in the group that corresponds with their gifting and passion – start them off with small tasks that have a shorter-term commitment.
- Circling back to people who have not shared, but looked like they were on the verge of saying something.
- Make eye-contact with those who share, acknowledging their input with simple affirmations like, “Thanks for sharing” or “Good insight,” and then try to relate it back to the passage being studied or keep the momentum going by inviting others to add their thoughts.
- Expressing your love for them, e.g. “I’m so glad you’re a part of our group!” Simple acknowledgements go a very long way in boosting people’s sense of belonging, which optimizes group Bible study in the future.

5. Open up – Not enough can be said about the importance of authenticity. This is essential to healthy leadership and Bible studies. The more open you are, the more open others will be. You make the group feel safe when you are real and it frees people up to be themselves, which is the kind of community everyone wants.

6. Listen up – One of the best ways you can love on the people in your group is to listen to them. This will probably mean you lay aside your own interests, agenda, or things you would like to say. Give people your full attention and reflect back to them that you understand by nodding or putting what they said into your own words to make sure you heard them correctly. When people see that others are being heard, they will feel more secure about opening up and sharing things on their heart.

7. Lighten up – People tend to be more reserved when there is a serious edge to the study. A light-hearted atmosphere actually encourages more involvement. If you have fun with it all, others will too.

8. Wrap-up – Summarize what happened in your group and give a teaser for what’s next before you end your group on time.

9. Follow-up – If somebody asks a question or shares a personal prayer need during your group study, be sure to follow-up with them. Also, don’t hesitate to contact people who said they were going to be at your Bible study, but were not. Let them know they were missed and see if there is anything they need.

10. Offer up – The way a group stays healthy in the long-run and goes deeper in their Bible study is by letting the grace of God flow outward. He wants to use our Christ-centered community to engage the world, not insulate ourselves from it (Acts 2:47; Rom 1:16, 10:14-15). God always makes room for the lost so expand your group circle as much as possible (Luke 15). He will provide the time and space for additional members if our hearts are seeking to extend His grace to those who have yet to come home. Practically-speaking, you can offer up your group by…

- Turning your group’s attention to lost people during your time of discussion and prayer.
- Telling members that you would LOVE for them to invite people they know to your group.
- Thinking together about how your group can share God’s grace with spiritually empty people.
- Traveling to locations beyond the home where you meet, e.g. hold your study in a public space or go on a mission trip together.
- Transitioning your group into new seasons of study by empowering people to look after different aspects of your group’s life together or handing off more responsibility to a person who could co-lead with you. This will prepare your group to multiply so that more people can be impacted by the love and message of Jesus Christ.

You know you’ve been successful at optimizing your small group’s Bible study if your group members love more: Love God more, love people more, love the lost more, and love Scripture more!

Reid Smith has been equipping leaders in churches of all sizes and stages of growth for effective disciple-making since 1996. He currently serves as a Pastor of Groups at Christ Fellowship in Palm Beach County, FL and has been a contributing author for various publications, including LifeWay’s Ministry Grid. Learn more about how to start and multiply healthy groups throughout your church at www.reidsmith.org.

Church Leadership

October 18, 2019

Four Ways We are to Shepherd our Groups

By Chris Surratt

The elders of the church were put in place to shepherd the congregation in the same way we as small group leaders are to shepherd our portion of the church. Although we are not that familiar with shepherds in today’s society, God chose shepherds throughout the Bible to lead His people. Abraham, Jacob, Moses, and David were all shepherds chosen as leaders by God. Jesus even referred to Himself as a shepherd: “I am the good shepherd. I know my own, and my own know me” (John 10:14).

Here are four ways we are to lead as shepherds for our groups:

From the heart

They know each sheep in their care and will work hard to get them to their destination. The small group leader’s role is to help the people in their group take the next spiritual step to get them from where they are to where they need to be. A shepherd leader will work hard to make sure no one is left behind on their spiritual journey.

With compassion

Jesus (the ultimate shepherd) set the example as a leader who always had compassion for His followers—even when it was most inconvenient.

We see in the book of Matthew Jesus withdrawing for time alone to grieve immediately after receiving the news of the death of John the Baptist, but He still could not escape the crowds.

When Jesus heard about it, he withdrew from there by boat to a remote place to be alone. When the crowds heard this, they followed him on foot from the towns. When he went ashore, he saw a large crowd, had compassion on them, and healed their sick. (Matt. 14:13–14)

Even though Jesus had every right to not care for another person at that moment, He saw sheep without a shepherd and had compassion for them. There will be many times as a small group leader where a member of your group will have a need at the most inopportune moment. It may be a phone call late at night. It may be someone who wants to stay after group to talk. It may be someone at church who needs to grab time in the lobby during the service you are about to attend. While inconvenient, it’s at those times where we have to remember the compassionate example of Jesus.

From the front

“When he has brought all his own outside, he goes ahead of them. The sheep follow him because they know his voice” (John 10:4). A leader that people will follow is a leader willing to go first. This may mean sharing a vulnerable story with the group to set the example of authenticity. The group will model the behavior you display. If you want your group to be open, open your heart first. If you want the group to serve, serve them first. Leading from the front does not mean dictating direction. It means setting the example for others to follow.

Sacrificially

There will be times when leading your group will be a sacrifice. Jesus said, “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep” (John 10:11). While your sacrifices will probably not involve laying your life down for someone, opening your home to a group of people weekly is a sacrifice. You have to keep the house clean, put up the pets, pull out all the extra chairs, make sure there is food, etc. It’s exhausting to host a group! You will need occasional breaks to not burn out, but that sacrifice of time and effort will lead to a group that bonds through consistency.

At the end of our time as leaders, we want to know we led our flock well. We can look to Jesus, the Good Shepherd, and follow His example of shepherding His flock. Though we will not be perfect, we want to lead from the heart, lead with compassion, lead from the front, and lead sacrificially.

Chris Surratt (@ChrisSurratt) is a ministry consultant and coach with more than twenty years of experience. He served on church staffs prior to becoming the discipleship and small groups specialist for LifeWay Christian Resources. He is the author of Leading Small Groups: How to Gather, Launch, Lead, and Multiply Your Small Group, from which this is excerpted and adapted with permission from B&H Publishing Group. You can follow his blog at ChrisSurratt.com.

Church Leadership

October 4, 2019

The One Thing We Don’t Do

By Reid Patton

In a recent sermon on guilt, my pastor said to the church, “I know you people. You come to my office for counseling, and most of the problems you have come because y’all don’t deal with your stuff.” What my pastor was saying is that most of us are not great at dealing with the sin in our lives. Even though we believe the gospel, that our sin has been taken care of at the cross, we still need to deal with the indwelling sin still lurking in our hearts. My suspicion is that the local church where I am member is not alone here. In fact, this problem goes all the way back to the garden.

When God did not accept Cain’s sacrifice, and Cain was sullen, God said, “Why are you furious? And why do you look despondent. If you do what is right, won’t you be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is for you, but you must rule over it” (Gen. 4:6b-7). The great Puritan pastor John Owen put it this way: “be killing sin or it will be killing you.” Because Cain did not deal with his sin, his sin dealt with him, and he killed his brother. We need keep watch over our lives because sin looks for any opportunity.

What my pastor, the Book of Genesis, and John Owen are all saying is that it is the duty of every believer to confess their sin and repent of it. Sin keeps us from fully experiencing the joy we were designed to have in Christ and damages our relationships with God and with other people. The mechanism God has given us to deal with our sin is confession and repentance (1 John 1:9; Mark 1:15). Repentance is not simply what brings us into faith with Christ, but it sustains our faith in Christ as we grow. We say no to sin and yes to God. That is what Owen had in mind when he wrote about killing sin—we continually repent of sin throughout our Christian life.

Our small groups are the ideal place to invite people into your personal battle against sin. Yet how few of us ever confess our sins to another believer as James suggested we should (5:16)? No, we typically do the opposite. We try and hide our sin from other people, afraid of what they might think of us. But guess what, everyone in your church and in your small group is a sinner. Therefore, after confessing your sin to God, the community of faith is the next best place to express your struggle with sin and find encouragement.

In her book Openness Unhindered, Rosaria Butterfield writes about the grace of confession in the community of the church: “After Pentecost, believers were ‘continually devoting themselves…to fellowship’ (Acts 2:42). In a real Christian community, there is no shame in repentance. Real Christian communities view repentant sinners as God sees them: cleansed and robed in Christ’s righteousness. And we know that that battle with sin is not finished until we die or Christ returns. For this reason, ‘from now on we recognize no one according to the flesh'” (2 Cor. 5:16).[1]

Butterfield’s point is that when we entered into the community of faith, we found a place where we are accepted despite our sin, because we aren’t recognized by our sin, but by the grace of God at work in our lives. Confession then is not a weight, but a freedom we can only find in Christ.

The people in your group should know about areas of your life where you are wrestling with sin. They should be aware of your struggle so they can pray for you and support you. They should know so they can hold you accountable. Confession is not an embarrassing burden but a great freedom secured for us by the blood of Christ.

All of this begins when you are open and honest about your own struggle and model what confession looks like. Lead from the front, and confess what is going on in your own heart. Be vulnerable to ask for prayer and accountability. Receive others confession with acceptance and grace while addressing it with prayer and pointing them back to the gospel. Make your small group a place where people can “deal with their stuff,” as my pastor suggested.

As small group leaders, you are on the front lines of ministry. You are the arms of the church and the first stop for pastoral care. Humbly embrace this responsibility and lead your groups to become a refuge where people can experience the life giving grace that comes from confessing sin and looking to Christ.

[1] Butterfield, Rosaria Champagne. Openness Unhindered: Further Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert on Sexual Identity and Union with Christ. Pittsburgh, PA: Crown & Covenant, 2015. Pg. 90.

Reid Patton is a Content Editor for the Custom Content Team at LifeWay Christian Resources, where he produces biblical small group studies for Discipleship In Context and SmallGroup.com. He is the thankful husband of Kristen and proud father of Ceile and serves with the Life Group leadership team at the Church at Station Hill in Spring Hill, Tennessee. In his free time, Reid likes reading and going to record stores. You can find him on Twitter@jreidpatton.

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