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3 Ways Your Group Can Be Kind

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What comes after Valentine’s Day? Although we might only imagine the gray and cold months that wrap up winter, there’s a growing holiday gaining attention: February 17, National Random Acts of Kindness Day.

What does this mean for your group?

We often make it a group goal to be people of kindness. It’s a fruit of the Spirit after all (Galatians 5:22-23). We even say we want to be people living on compassionate mission—people who serve others outside our group, or friends who carry the burdens of those inside our small group or Sunday school.

So, if this is something we value, what if we made it a priority to intentionally and creatively engage with this holiday?

As National Random Acts of Kindness Day approaches, consider these ideas with your group:

  1. Try words

Our culture is saturated with words. From media to meetings and passing conversations, we have a lot of input. But, something powerful happens when we set aside the time to build others up. What if we, during Acts of Kindness Day and the entire week, were intentional to reach out to specific members of our group and tell them truth? Share the positive character traits we see in them? Point out the ways we see Christ working in their lives? Tell of the growth we’ve witnessed and the ways they have impacted our lives and contributed to the group? The impact of intention, kind words, is astounding.

  1. Take time

In the American culture, time can seem to be our resource in shortest supply. Busier is, after all, better. What if, during Act of Kindness Day and throughout the week, we sought to find just a little time? Time to linger slightly longer after group and ask a few more questions to some of the members. Time to pick one person to take to coffee this week. Time to babysit for some of the group members’ kids. Or, you can give time—sharing a gift certificate for the newly married couple to have a date night. We can show kindness by taking time and giving time.

  1. Train others

We compete sometimes more than we show care. Instead of training others in our group, we can get caught up in trying to be the best group leader as we are more concerned with having the most eloquent answers to our member’s questions than trying to train the members to find answers themselves and to even take their own steps towards leadership positions. What if we saw Act of Kindness Day and the following week as a landmark where our role shifted from being a leader to being a leader who develops leaders? Put another way, what if we focused on being a disciple using their gifts and seeking to develop other disciples to also use theirs? You might be surprised by the results you would find if you picked one group member and made a plan to equip them–to train them in how you prepare to lead group, to teach them how to use resources to better understand the Bible, to develop them in hospitality. The greatest kindness might be in training others to be people of kindness themselves.

No matter whether you already are a devoted celebrator of National Acts of Kindness Day or have never heard of the holiday, you can take action. Seeking to be kind to others is one simple way that we can follow Jesus and lead others toward him, pursuing loving God and others in any way we can (Mark 12:30-31).

Deborah Spooner is a Minnesota-born analytical creative serving as a Marketing Strategist for LifeWay’s Groups Ministry. As a pastor’s daughter with a background in Digital Communications and Media and Biblical & Theological Studies, you can find her at her local church, in deep conversation, or with a book or pen in hand as she seeks to know Christ more and make Him known.
Church Leadership

3 Ways to Approach Dating within Your Small Group

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Imagine this: you’re single. You’re Christian. You’re not getting any younger. And you’re in a church small group.

Does such a scenario give you a little anxiety?

From asking someone out and then having to face them again at group, to feeling the pressure to be ready to marry the person before going on a second date, the waters are dangerous. As the average age for marriage in America continues to rise, the stakes are even higher. For Christians, we add the factor that we feel the need to find our perfect ministry partner to catalyze our own faith and change the world.

How do we deal with this elephant in the room of singleness within Christian small groups while not crushing our cherished community?

  1. Dive deeper

Recently, I’ve had conversations which have echoed each other: talks with Christian women in their mid-to-late twenties who are still single and feeling scared, tired, frustrated, and confused that their mingling hasn’t produced a ring. Panic ensues.

But it’s not just that they want a man and picket fence. There’s much more happening on a deeper level: shame. Sitting at a coffee shop doing a Bible study, we talked about “things in our life we wish were there” and skirted around the subject until someone came out and finally said it: “I wish I were married. And I know Jesus is enough, but if I’m real, I want more. And I’m starting to wonder if I’m even enough for anyone to want me.” This mirrored another situation in my small group as the subject was again avoided until someone said it: “Yeah, we’re talking about praying for big things, but many of us around this room have a prayer that hasn’t been answered. We’re still single. How do we deal with this?”

There’s also shame around talking about singleness and even admitting that, when single people walk into a room full of Christians, you can guess what’s one of the first things on their minds: the opposite sex. And since our minds are supposed to be fixed on Christ, no one wants to talk about how they’re prone to wander.

I could go on. There are also questions of what prayer really means in face of unanswered prayers. There’s the reality of ealousy of others who have something we want. There’s the nsecurity in the way we are. There’s the doubts because of seemingly irredeemable issues in the past..

There’s a lot beneath the surface. If we want to handle singleness well in our small groups, we need to be willing to go deep, to dig into what’s at the root of and tied to the word “single.”

  1. Do more

Often, when we feel awkward with a topic or know it’s delicate (or just flat out don’t want to deal with its depths), we start to do less. We don’t talk about it in group. We don’t talk about it with people in our groups when we’re meeting outside of the group time. We don’t even pray for it. If we minimize contact with the issue, we minimize the damage done, right? Not necessarily.

What would Christ do when he knew something mattered to the people around Him? Not avoid it. Instead, he’d seek to meet people where they were with this need they had. Often, this topic needs to be addressed in some way with your group. To do so, get to know the specifics of your group. How many are single? How many are married? And what are they feeling, thinking, and needing with this topic?

Handling this topic better in your small groups means doing more digging: digging into the individual concerns, pains, and joys. Then, you have options of what to do next. It could mean many different results: What would it look like to dedicate a specific night of small group to talk about singleness and marriage, or having a Q&A session between those married and not? What would it look like to dedicate time specifically to pray for the marriages of people in your group and to pray for the singles? What would it look like to ask more intentional questions to specific group members about the topic of singleness and marriage, and then build it into your small group schedule or have a separate night to talk through your group’s specific challenges?

Often through doing just a little more,, we can relieve the pressure and actually start making progress.

  1. Don’t be afraid (or selfish)

Singles need the group’s leadership to step out when it comes to this topic. They need leaders who first know the pulse of the group and can see how much or little may need to be said, but also leaders who are not afraid of diving into difficult and delicate topics. They need leaders of action and not just words. Do you see people in your small group that really maybe should go on a date, even if this could mean an awkward few weeks if things don’t work out? Try encouraging them to do so. Do some single people in your group really need mentorship around this topic right now, and maybe you see a married man or woman in your group who could step in and fill that role? Try asking if they’ll invest in others in this way. Has dating become the only focus of your group and you need to recenter your group back to a focus on Christ and not only on each other? Try bringing the focus back.

More deeply understanding your group and moving through the fear to action can be hard and takes time. As leaders, we sometimes don’t have much time and often have had not wonderful experiences ourselves. Maybe we’ve been burned in a dating relationship. Maybe we’ve been single, then married, then divorced and just feel too burnout or inadequate to speak into the topic. Maybe we think it’s not that big of a deal and people just overcomplicate things. But, we can’t stay silent and comfortable when we see a need. We just can’t take that selfish route, whether that means moving past pride or insecurity (or both).

Don’t be afraid of stepping on toes. Don’t be afraid that you have nothing to offer. Don’t be afraid that this is an over-talked about topic.

Have the courage to know your group and to know your group’s needs. Then, dive deep. And, do something.

Deborah Spooner is a Minnesota-born analytical creative serving as a Marketing Strategist for LifeWay’s Groups Ministry. As a pastor’s daughter with a background in Digital Communications and Media and Biblical & Theological Studies, you can find her at her local church, in deep conversation, or with a book or pen in hand as she seeks to know Christ more and make Him known.
Church Leadership

More Questions Every Small Group Leader Has

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It can be intimidating to take on the leadership of a group, but you can be assured that (almost) every small group leader has the same doubts, concerns, and questions you do. The moment we as leaders think we have it all figured out is when we should stop being leaders. I have discovered that the best leaders always have questions, and they’re not afraid to ask them.

You can read my top five questions here, but here are three more questions every small group leader has.

1. What do we do about childcare?

This is the number one question from parents, and the number one barrier to many people committing to a small group. If you are planning to invite married couples with young kids, have a solution for this issue before the group begins. Here are a few ideas I recommend to group leaders: 

  • Each family makes their own arrangements for childcare.
  • The group hires a babysitter, and the families split the cost.
  • Work with the student ministry to hire a female babysitter who is raising money for a summer missions trip.
  • Work out a co-op relationship with another group that meets on another night.
  • Make one night a month a game night where the kids are invited to take part.
  • Involve the older kids into the discussion and life of the group. My kids have been active members of our groups through the years.
  • Rotate childcare among the members of the group, putting two non-related adults in charge of babysitting for a given night, and rotating each week.

2. What if no one shows up for the group meeting?

It can be very disheartening to prepare for your group and then have no one show up. It’s sometimes worse if only one person comes! Here are a few factors to think about if no one signs up or shows up for the group:

  • Is the group being hosted in too remote of an area from the church? It will be more difficult to ask church members to attend a group that is over 15-20 minutes from their house.
  • Is the group’s focus too narrow? Targeting a specific cause for a group to form around can be beneficial, but it will take longer to gain traction.
  • Are you meeting on an unpopular night? Look for a day and time that works well for the demographic you are inviting to the group.
  • Are the meetings consistent enough? Groups that only meet once a month will never gain the relational equity it takes to build loyalty.
  • Is the group shrinking? It is always good to add new people during the life of the small group.

3. How do I stay healthy as a leader while helping others do the same?

It’s important that we as leaders take care of our spiritual, mental, and physical selves while helping others do the same thing. We can spend so much time pouring into our group members, and forget that leading yourself is the number one priority. An unhealthy leader will eventually burnout. 

If you find yourself on the edge of burning out spiritually, here is an outline for staying healthy from Pastor Peter Scazzero. He calls it the Rule of Life. “Rule” is from the Greek word “trellis.” You use a trellis in a garden to ensure the plants grow straight and healthy.

Pay attention to these four major categories in your daily routine:

  1. Prayer: this also involves time in the Scripture and using silence and solitude in your quiet times
  2. Rest: Taking a regular sabbath, simplifying your life as much as possible, and making time for play and recreation.
  3. Work/Activity: Including service and mission into your life, and regular care for your physical body
  4. Relationships: Taking care of your emotional health through life-giving relationships with your family and community
Chris Surratt is a ministry consultant and coach with more than twenty years of experience serving the local church. Chris served on the Executive Teams at Cross Point Church in Nashville, TN., and Seacoast Church in Charleston, S.C., prior to becoming the Discipleship and Small Groups Specialist for LifeWay Christian Resources. He is the author of  Small Groups for the Rest of Us: How to Design Your Small Groups System to Reach the Fringes. You can follow his blog at www.chrissurratt.com.
Church Leadership

The Slow and Steady Pace of Discipleship

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Most of the mechanisms God uses to transform us into Christlikeness aren’t the big, but the small. They are the series of choices we face day after day. This is how Paul described growing in Christ – not as something exciting, but as a methodical process akin to that of athletic training:

Don’t you know that the runners in a stadium all race, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way to win the prize. Now everyone who competes exercises self-control in everything. However, they do it to receive a crown that will fade away, but we a crown that will never fade away. Therefore I do not run like one who runs aimlessly or box like one beating the air. Instead, I discipline my body and bring it under strict control, so that after preaching to others, I myself will not be disqualified (1 Corinthians 9:24-27, CSB).

Despite what the training montages in the Rocky movies might lead you to believe, being an athlete is hard work. It’s not accomplished in 5 minutes and it’s not usually done to the soundtrack of Survivor. Staying in top shape requires waking up at 4 a.m. every morning and going to bed early every night; having a plan for what you eat and how you spend your time; making sure that all the small choices in life point to the one goal. That’s the metaphor Paul chose for growing in Christ – it’s an athletic contest, not a magic show where doves come flying out of a hat.

One of the reasons that everything has meaning for us as disciples of Christ is because everything is either moving us toward Christ-likeness or away from it. Every choice isn’t just about the choice – it’s about whether we are embracing our sanctification or pushing against it. Paul knew the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ – that he is so valuable that anything stacked up against him looks like dung. Is it any wonder, then, that he would, just one chapter after 1 Corinthians 9, also exhort those in Corinth to consider the little things of life as an opportunity to glorify God? “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God” (1 Corinthians 10:31).

These common, everyday choices are the guts of discipleship. Following Christ is not just about selling everything you have for the sake of the poor (though it might indeed be that at some point); it also involves managing your time; appropriately handling your throw away thoughts; glorifying God through your eating and drinking; seeing the small things of life as things that either move you toward or away from Christlikeness. Disciples understand the true significance of these choices.

When was the last time you or I thought about these things? Chances are we haven’t considered them nearly as often as God has. As much as we might long for something new and different, something more exciting and fresh, God is still vitally concerned that we make the everyday, run of the mill choices of faithfulness because we desire the same thing that He does – to more and more resemble His Son.

Many of us, in an effort to spice things up a little bit, have abandoned thinking deeply about and struggling with these choices. Similarly, we have abandoned the everyday practices of saints of the past, looking for something a little bit more modern and progressive. So we find ourselves bowing down to the idol of excitement all while claiming to be seeking after the living God.

We don’t need something new. We need something old. We need to do the same things that saints of old have been doing in order to deepen our understanding and apprehension of the greatness of God. We need to see that it’s not some kind of secret formula or latest methodology that exposes the myth of the ordinary. Instead it’s through these means of grace that many of us have cast aside as outdated and legalistic that God has chosen to deepen our relationship and experience with Him.

Michael Kelley lives in Nashville, TN, with his wife, Jana, and three children: Joshua (10), Andi (7), and Christian (5). He serves as Director of Groups Ministry for Lifeway Christian Resources. As a communicator, Michael speaks across the country at churches, conferences, and retreats and is the author of Wednesdays Were Pretty Normal: A Boy, Cancer, and God; Transformational Discipleship; and Boring: Finding an Extraordinary God in an Ordinary Life. Find him on Twitter:@_MichaelKelley. Check out his latest book, Growing Down: Unlearning the Patterns of Adulthood that Keep Us from Jesus here.
Church Leadership, Tuesday Thoughts

Tuesday Thoughts: Choosing a Location for Your Small Group

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One of the decisions that you’ll have to make early on if you’re starting a small group is where are you going to host it? There’s a lot of options that you can use and all of them have pros and cons. So I want to talk just a minute about some good options if you’re looking at starting a small group, especially offsite from where your church is. The first natural one is your home. Now, home is a great place to have a small group. It feels comfortable. It’s easy to build community in, but there are some things that you want to think about when you think about your home and whether it might be good for your small group. The first thing is how big is it? Because if you’re going to have a large, small group, and I’m talking more than like 12, you know if you’re going to have 16, 18 people in your small group, you want to make sure that you have room in your living room or somewhere in the house where everyone can comfortably sit in a circle, see each other, hear each other, and feel like they’re in community at your house. If they’re having to spread out or sit behind people, that’s going to be less viable than if they could sit in a circle and see everybody in the group. So you want to make sure that your home is big enough and you’ll also want to think about childcare. If you’re going to have a group with small kids like parents with younger kids, you want to make sure that there’s somewhere in the house that you can comfortably have childcare, that the kids can have a safe time and it’s a good place for them to be during the group. So home is a great place for your small group, but there are also some other options.

A few of them are a neighborhood clubhouse. If you live in a neighborhood that has a clubhouse, a lot of times they sit empty during the week, especially at apartments, so you might look into maybe being able to rent it for a small fee. A lot of times it’s just a fee to cover the cleaning costs, but uh, that might be a good option for you. But the downside is if you have childcare, you need childcare, that’s not always a good good place because it’s easily just one room. So, but you might look at a neighborhood, a clubhouse.

Also maybe a room at the church building. Maybe your church allows groups to use Sunday school rooms or rooms at the church during the week. And that’s a great option, especially if they’ll let you use another room for childcare again. Um, but also it kind of limits some of the community that can happen during the small group, especially if you’re going to provide food. Because not all church rooms are good for that. And it’s also not always a great place just to hang out. So that’s kind of a downside to using a room at the church.

You might also be able to use a break room at the office. A lot of offices will allow a Bible study to go on during a break time, but you want to make sure that you clear that with the people at your office. It also allows you to invite people to your group that may not naturally want to come to your home or church or to a room at the church. So that’s another good option. And then a final one is a third space somewhere like a coffee house or something like that. That’s a good place to have, especially if you have a smaller group like 5 to 10 because you can go into a coffee house and sit around a table or a group of chairs and easily be able to have a discussion. Now that’s a tougher place if you’re going to have a larger group, if you’re going to have more than 10, you might look at some other options.

So those are just a few places that you can have your group. All of them have pros, they have cons, but take a look at those as you start your small group.

Chris Surratt is a ministry consultant and coach with more than twenty years of experience serving the local church. Chris served on the Executive Teams at Cross Point Church in Nashville, TN., and Seacoast Church in Charleston, S.C., prior to becoming the Discipleship and Small Groups Specialist for LifeWay Christian Resources. He is the author of  Small Groups for the Rest of Us: How to Design Your Small Groups System to Reach the Fringes. You can follow his blog at www.chrissurratt.com.
Church Leadership

4 Must-Read Articles for This Week

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The Most Sane Kind of Insanity – Michael Kelley

The basic definition of insanity is “the derangement of mind.” But there’s also another definition, one that applies when the word insanity isn’t used in a clinical sense but as a more casual description. That’s this: Extreme foolishness; folly. That’s how we typically use the word. We use it when we see something that doesn’t make sense according to our paradigm. We use it to describe someone’s workout regimen; we use it when we observe when someone goes to bed or when or how early they getup in the morning; we use it when we hear about someone trying to get downtown at 4:45 pm on a Tuesday.

7 Ways Christian Men Can Respect Woman – LifeWay Men

The Bible honors women and condemns anything that would harm or injure women, whether physical, verbal, emotional, or sexual. God has called men to be the protectors and defenders of women. In our sexualized culture, the minds of Christian men are being assaulted with lust-inducing images from advertisements on television to Internet pornography. Temptation does not have an expiration date, so Christian men of all ages and backgrounds are affected by the world’s sexual objectification of women.

How to Build Community in a New City – LifeWay Women’s Ministry

There’s a lot that goes into moving to a new city. You’re house hunting in areas you aren’t familiar with, hauling all of your belongings in a U-Haul, trying to figure out which grocery store keeps the zucchini noodles in stock, and wondering when you’ll ever find a new dentist. But one of the hardest things about a new move isn’t finding a grocery store or a dentist, but finding community.

Ten Reasons I am Optimistic about Churches in 2019 –  LifeWay Leadership

Despite the tough reality many congregations face today, I remain an obnoxious optimist as we move into 2019. Just yesterday, I received an email about a church that I thought was headed for closure. Through a series of God-blessed events, the church has turned the corner and will remain a presence in the community.

5 Ways to Grow Your Leadership Team’s Heart for Your Church’s Mission – Eric Geiger

Every leader needs a compass in their head. The mission answers “Question Zero”: “What are we ultimately supposed to be doing?” It makes the overall direction of the church unquestionable and points everyone in that direction. The mission is a golden thread that weaves through every activity of the church. It brings greater meaning to the most menial functions of ministry.

Church Leadership

3 Ways to Get Your Group Members to Stay

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What can we do to create a sticky group, one where people return and stay? If the research conducted by Dr. Rainer holds true (see that post here) there are a few big things we can do as Bible study leaders to get people to return and stay.

 Involve them.

First of all, we can involve them in the life of the group. Most groups have a core that does most of the work of planning the parties, making the coffee, and keeping up with absentees. I realize some may feel like they earned the role, but what keeps us from finding more ways of involving people in the work of the group? One way of involving new group members is allowing them to be greeters. This allows them to meet everyone who attends while still being aware of the needs of new people joining the group.

We can also be intentional about involving everyone in the actual study time. Allowing discussion to take place in smaller groups, crafting questions that don’t assume prior participation, and asking people prior to the group time to read a passage or lead a breakout discussion are actions that will go a long way toward creating a sticky group.

 Feed them.

Whatever you call your groups, everyone attending expects there to be Bible study. If the purpose of your group is not built around Bible study, then you may need to rethink what you call your group and why you meet. Most of us have been in groups that are focused on football scores, political debates, and personal stories. We could get that from most service organizations. If it is a Bible study group, then the Bible ought to be front and center.

Beyond studying the Bible, we can help our group members understand how to better use Bible study tools. We can show them how to use a Bible concordance or Bible dictionary as opposed to simply telling them what we found. Better yet, we could hand a Bible dictionary to a group member and walk them through the steps of using the resource. The way we lead the group time matters. 

 Treat them like people.

Most of us have attended a class or group where we felt more like an item than a person. We received a different kind of name tag, were asked to do things no one else was asked to do (like being the only one asked to introduce yourself to the group), or being the only one without a study guide. As the leader, we need to think of our group as a set of individuals who happen to be in a group. Groups tend to be viewed like an institution, losing individual personality in the process.

In effect, we are fostering an open group culture by the way we as the leaders treat all attendees of our groups. Groups easily become closed without even trying. We may allow new people to join us and still be closed by how we as a group treat them. Our treating each individual as a valued person will help move others to do the same. 

 What actions have you found helpful for getting people to stick in your group?

Dwayne McCrary is a project team leader for ongoing adult Bible study resources at LifeWay, including the adult Explore the Bible resources. He also teaches an adult group and preschool group every Sunday in the church he attends.
Church Leadership

Recruiting New Leaders – What to do with Another No! 

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by Dave Enns

You’ve set the vision, communicated the need, given realistic expectations, and offered proven and realistic training. All based on a great referral that this person would be a worthy group leader.  But they still tell you “No!”

Argh! Those “no’s” are never easy to hear.

My normal response to “no” was to thank them for considering it while doing all I can to hide my disappointment.  As fast as possible I would hang up the phone and move on to my next call.  Little did I know how short-sighted my response was. I had reduced recruiting to “filling a spot”. Their “no” was not only causing me to miss the opportunity to affirm and come alongside them, but also to team with them for years to come in recruiting and raising up new leaders. This realization sent me back to the drawing board on what recruiting was really about.

Here are four strategies that helped us stop recruiting to fill the position, truly affirm people in what God was calling them to do, and empower them to be part of our team for years to come.

1. Reframing Rejection: A Pastoral moment to affirm the yes behind the no!  A no usually means a yes to something else. All too often we’re afraid to ask someone what’s happening in their lives, causing them to say “no.” But asking “why” is important. If it’s misaligned expectations, a conversation could easily change the outcome. But more often than not, potential leaders have legitimate commitments to family, health issues, work, other ministries or hobbies that are consuming their time. These are the yes’ behind the no.  These kind of yes’ are a pastoral opportunity to be intentional with that person, coming alongside to listen and understand their no to you, maybe an important yes to God.  How you handle this won’t be forgotten and how they see what they have to offer the Kingdom.

2. Expanding Your Recruiting Team: Suprise them how they can easily still have an impact.  When the need for leadership is sizable and your leads are few ask them if they would take the next 3-4 days to pray, and talk with their spouse or friends if they know someone else you should consider asking to lead a group. Don’t ask them to respond immediately. Most people need time to think, pray and consider. Plus, three days means for the next 72 hours you have another recruiter and person praying for you and your ministry! Set the expectation that you’ll give them a call back to follow up, and then make sure to do it! It confirms that you value their time and involvement in your ministry. You never know, their prayers may change their “no,” into “yes!”

3.  Keeping the Door Open to Future Potential: Ask if you can ask again.

In our small group ministry, every potential leader or host we contact has been referred by someone else. These personal leadership referrals are invaluable, and we never want to lose a strong referral. While you may have heard “No” or “Not now,” keep in mind this doesn’t necessarily mean “never.” Ask if you can contact them again next year for another “ask”.  In thirty years of vocational ministry, I’ve only had one person tell me not to call them back.  I once followed up with a potential leader four years in a row. Each year I called, we ended up having a fun conversation catching up about life, and whether or not it was the right time for leadership. The fourth year it was a “yes.”

4. Building Relational Capital:  Staying in their moment, not yours.

Even though someone has given you permission to call them back six months to a year later, the conversation needs to be as much about them and how they are doing, than just your need for more leaders. That’s why you need to write down the reason someone told you no the first time you called them. When I start this call-back conversation engaged and curious asking how their coaching little league went or getting an update on their parent’s health (both good reasons why they said no), most are surprised I actually remember those details.  It will also help you know if there’s no way you should be asking them to lead because they’re in the same situation they had been in the past.  A call not ending up in an ask reveals once again that you care more about them than just filling a slot.

Let’s be clear. Recruiting is hard work and rarely effective during office hours only. It’s one of the most challenging roles we have in ministry. It’s also one of the most rewarding opportunities we have to be involved in. It multiples impact, discipleship, and evangelism.  Every follower of Jesus we call to lead has a desire and passion to make a kingdom impact (Ephesians 2:10). It might be hard to see, but it’s there. Don’t let a “no” and a need to fill some slots cause you to miss it!

Dave Enns has been on staff at North Coast Church (the Sticky Church) since 1990 and is the lead pastor of their Small Groups Ministry.  He oversees a team of 25 staff, 1,400 lay leaders and over 6,000 who attend their home groups.
Church Leadership

Five Tips to Helping your New Group Last the Whole Year

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Stepping out to start a new small group can be a scary experience. All of us have the same questions starting out: Will anyone show up? Have I invited the right people? Have I picked the right study? How will I disciple everyone in my group? And the biggest question of all: Will my new group survive? Statistics say that around 70% of new businesses will eventually fail within five years. I would hazard a guess that it’s around the same for new small groups in the first year. We all have the best of intentions at the start, but life happens and good intentions get derailed.

However, there is hope! There are a few things that you can do now that will help your small group survive and thrive through the whole year. Here are five tips to starting and finishing strong.

  1. Consistency

Inconsistency can derail a small group from the start. There will be weeks where it is extremely tempting to just cancel. A few group members start dropping out early in the week, and now it seems easier to cancel and punt to the next week. After a few weeks of last minute canceling, most people will give up on showing up. Resist that urge to cancel, and stay consistent with your meetings. Some of the most impactful group meetings I have been a part of was with just a few people. Start the group off with a covenant or agreement stating that members will need to be consistent with their attendance throughout the semester, or join the group at another time when their schedules allow.

  1. Substance

Most people are already involved in a small group. There are smaller groups of people we interact with every day. We have groups at work, groups at school, groups at the football game, groups at the park, and on-and-on. For your small group to be compelling enough for someone to give another time slot to, it has to go beyond the surface and offer opportunities for people to grow deeper in their faith and love for Jesus. If your “study” time consists of 10-15  minutes of shallow conversation about the sermon from Sunday, or how their week was, that’s not enough.

To love God, we have to know God, and that will come from those deeper conversations inspired by a well written study of God’s Word. Check out lifeway.com/balanceddiscipleship for a robust Bible study plan.

  1. Care

Another difference in what you are offering and what people can get anywhere is genuine care. Your group members are needing more than a social time and a Bible study. The goal is to have your small group feel like family. Families care for one another and are there for each other when circumstances are great and not so great. We should celebrate and weep with our group members equally.

  1. Variety

Even the best experiences will get old when repeated too many times. If your small group meetings are always the same, the group will quickly become stale and group members will start to fade out. Change it up occasionally with the type of study you are doing. If you are consistently doing studies through books of the BIble, try a more topical study for a few weeks. If your group always uses a video driven study, change it up with discussion driven study for a semester. Also, build in nights where the group just does something fun.  Plan a night every six weeks that is a game night, or something fun outside of the normal meeting location.

  1. Empowerment

If you are a leader who has to do everything in the group – host, provide food, facilitate the discussion, handle the prayer request, schedule the activities, etc – then you are not empowering your members to discover their spiritual gifts and take ownership in the group. Consumers will feel the freedom to move on when the group no longer fills their needs. Owners have a stake and will feel the responsibility to help the group fill other’s needs. Start the group off with the expectation that everyone will eventually contribute to the life of the group. This will help create owners and not consumers.

Chris Surratt is a ministry consultant and coach with more than twenty years of experience serving the local church. Chris served on the Executive Teams at Cross Point Church in Nashville, TN., and Seacoast Church in Charleston, S.C., prior to becoming the Discipleship and Small Groups Specialist for LifeWay Christian Resources. He is the author of  Small Groups for the Rest of Us: How to Design Your Small Groups System to Reach the Fringes. You can follow his blog at www.chrissurratt.com.
Church Leadership

Why People Drop Out of a Bible Study Group

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In the book High Expectations, Dr. Thom Rainer shared reasons people gave for dropping out of evangelical churches. The reasons given in order of frequency were:

  1. Transfer of Job
  2. Apathy toward the church
    • Not being involved in anything
    • Not being fed
    • Not having friends
  3. Interpersonal conflict/wounded feelings

Other reasons were noted, but these three categories were the leading causes identified in that research. In one church I served, we contacted people who joined other churches in our city to see what we could learn from them. If you are wondering, those were some of the most difficult conversations I have ever initiated. The same things were expressed by those who were willing to talk to me. I realize the High Expectations research is now 20 years old and times have changed, but those “exit interviews” with former church members lead me to believe these reasons to be universal and timeless.

Why would we want to know why people drop out? So we can fix it! Dr. Rainer and his research team also found out that an effective Sunday School ministry was a critical factor in overcoming at least the apathy reasons (pp. 128-129) and could also minimize conflicts and wounds (seen in the person’s involvement being an impetus to stay instead of leave, p. 161). A healthy ongoing Bible study will not fix every woe, but the research indicates that a healthy ongoing Bible study ministry like Sunday School can clearly make a difference.

What other reasons for dropping out have you encountered? Do you think these reasons are universal? Why or why not?

What have you done to strengthen your ongoing Bible study ministry in light of the reasons you have encountered?  

Dwayne McCrary is a project team leader for ongoing adult Bible study resources at LifeWay, including the adult Explore the Bible resources. He also teaches an adult group and preschool group every Sunday in the church he attends.