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Group Answers Podcast
February 3, 2021

Group Answers Episode 190: Coaching New Leaders

By Chris Surratt
https://media.blubrry.com/freebibleteaching/p/groupministry.lifeway.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/13/2021/02/GA-190.mp3

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On this episode of Group Answers, Brian, Chris, and Brandon talk about a few principles to follow as you train and coach new group leaders.

  • New leaders need more direction than veteran leaders.
  • Use multiple forms of communication. Communication level will decrease over time.
  • Care for the heart as much as the hands (skills).
  • Pray for and with your leaders often.
  • Eat what you sell. Growing leaders grow leaders.

The Group Answers Podcast is a weekly show designed to resource, train, and encourage small group leaders. Each episode considers current trends and resources as well as timeless truths and methods of discipleship. It is hosted by Brian Daniel, a Bible study and discipleship expert in Lifeway’s Groups Ministry, and Chris Surratt, the small group and discipleship specialist at Lifeway and author of Leading Small Groups.

Group Leadership
January 22, 2021

Derwin Gray on Making Peace

By Deborah Spooner

Peace.

Throughout history, the world has been devoid of lasting peace. In this midst of this reality, followers of Jesus seek the deepest peace that only Christ can give.

How do we understand biblical peace? How can we start to let it rule our hearts and minds? How can we strive to bring peace into our groups? How can these conversations even begin?

In his latest Bible study on the Beatitudes, Derwin Gray shares about peacemaking. We can learn from his wisdom excerpted below. 

The Call to Make Peace

As Jesus continued His prescription for happiness, He said,

Blessed are the peacemakers,

for they will be called sons of God

Matthew 5:9

Reread Matthew 5:7-8. How are these three Beatitudes related?

Pursuing peace (Matt. 5:9) is intertwined with hungering and thirsting for righteousness and being merciful (Matt. 5:7-8). Becoming a peacemaker requires that God has first brought us into peace with Him through the forgiveness that comes by grace through faith in Jesus. Then out of the overflow of the Holy Spirit’s power God enables us to live righteously and mercifully in response to the gospel.

Read Romans 5:1.

What did God do to pursue peace with us?

Notice that Jesus said happy are the peacemakers not happy are the peaceful. What’s the difference between those two things?

God’s righteousness has always been about embodying God’s love, and God’s love is always merciful. The good life—a life of happiness—is loving God, ourselves, and all of humanity. In the kingdom of God, there‘s “righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit” (Rom. 14:17). Peace isn’t passive. Being peaceful is a fleeting state of mind. Peacemaking is an active, God-given pursuit. It’s the intentional act of God in Christ reconciling us to Himself through the cross and enabling us to extend peace to others. Making peace is hard, happy gospel-work.

Does it surprise you to hear that peacemaking is “work”? Why must peace be actively sought instead of passively assumed?

First-Century Expectations

The world Jesus lived in was chaotic, violent, and tumultuous. Jewish men were awaiting the Messiah to usher in peace by eradicating the Romans from their homeland, and the Romans believed Caesar would usher in peace. Rome’s method of ensuring peace was through force and brutality.

How was Jesus’ peace different from the peace the world expected?

Jesus saw and experienced Roman oppression, hardships of being poor, and living on the margins. Jesus’ peace extended beyond the borders of circumstance. Others’ expectations couldn’t contain it. People could only experience the peace Jesus taught about through communion with God. When we say the happiness He taught about was more than the good feeling you get when something nice happens to you, we know Jesus meant it. He experienced it constantly.

Making Peace When It’s Hard

Read Romans 12:19-21.

Why must we make peace despite difficulty?

What keeps you from experiencing peace and making peace with others?

Is there anyone against whom you’re holding a grudge and withholding peace? How might letting that go lead to a greater sense of happiness?

When Jesus correlated our happiness with being peacemakers in a world of violence, injustice, and hardship, people would have seen that as radical. Jesus’ method of eradicating the Romans from the Promised Land wasn’t to cast them out with the sword but to usher them into the peace of God, so they could become peaceful people. For Jesus, seeking vengeance is a tool of the ungodly. The Prince of Peace entered a world devoid of peace to create peacemakers.

Prayer

Holy Spirit, help us to be people of peace in a world that needs the peace You secured with Your blood on the cross.

This post has been excerpted from The Good Life Bible Study. To try the first two complete Bible study sessions and their corresponding teaching videos, visit Lifeway.com/NewBibleStudies. 

Online Bible Study
December 17, 2020

Online Bible Studies Are Moving!

By Deborah Spooner

January is one of the best times for starting online Bible studies. 

As the new year rolls in, many of us experience waves of excitement and hope for what’s to come. We plan practical steps for growth, goal achievement, and making the year a great one. But, it can be difficult to keep resolutions. We often lose steam by the time February arrives. 

Online Bible studies are a practical step to ensure you don’t lose momentum on your Bible reading goals and plans. 

What’s changed for 2021?

Historically, we’ve hosted our online Bible studies in two ways. We initially ran our studies through a blog platform (like this one). More recently, we’ve held online Bible studies through Facebook Groups. Although these have been solid options that have been useful to facility great study and discussion, we are getting an OBS hosting facelift for 2021. We’re joining Lifeway’s Online Bible Study platform.

What is this “new platform”?

If you’ve done a Lifeway associated Bible study in the past, you may already have experience with the platform! The Lifeway Online Bible study platform, which previously only hosted Lifeway Women’s studies, has undergone changes to be able to include both men’s and women’s studies, as well as studies suitable for a mixed audience. Further changes have updated the user experience to be even more welcoming and easier to use!

When can I try it out?

Two Bible study options will give you a chance to try a Groups Bible study on the updated OBS platform, starting this January. Don’t miss out!

Battle Plan for Prayer (Alex Kendrick & Stephen Kendrick)

Launching Tuesday, January 5, 2021

This is an eight-week video-based Bible study that helps you develop a deeper walk with God as you seek the Lord for your battles. Through this study, you’ll be equipped to create their own prayer strategy, learning to be specific and deliberate in prayer. This study features teaching by Alex Kendrick and Stephen Kendrick on the following topics: what prayer is and is not, why God wants us to pray, specific areas of prayer, specific strategies for prayer, and more.

U-Turns (Tony Evans)

Launching Wednesday, January 6, 2021

This is a six-week video-based Bible study about God’s direction over your life. Dr. Tony Evans shows you the reality of human freedom, the consequences that come from bad choices, and the way to reverse the consequences. By aligning your life choices under God’s Word and pursuing an intimate relationship with Him, you can experience the abundant life Jesus has for you. You get to choose whether or not you want that and sometimes, you get to witness God change the direction of your life.

How do I sign up

It’s simple. Click on the study titles above to visit the associated Online Bible study’s page on the updated platform. On that page, you’ll see instructions about how to register and how the Online Bible study experiences work. If you have more questions about online Bible studies, check out this post.

What is an online Bible study?

If you’re not familiar with this type of study, our online Bible studies are simple to understand and easy to join. Each study corresponds to a printed (or digital version) of a Bible study from Lifeway groups. When you sign up for the OBS, you gain access to the teaching videos that are typically 10 – 20 minute sessions that are typically accessed through purchasing a Bible study leader kit. But, with OBS, we offer these videos for free!

Each week, we post a video that corresponds to a session in the printed (or digital version) of the Bible study and post questions. Anyone joining the OBS is able to answer questions and comment back to others who also answer. These studies build community with people across the US (and abroad!) and encourage an enriching Bible study experience within the virtual group.

You don’t want to miss out. See you there!

Group Answers Podcast
December 9, 2020

Group Answers Episode 182: The Future of Sunday School with Ken Braddy

By Group Ministry
https://media.blubrry.com/freebibleteaching/p/groupministry.lifeway.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/13/2020/12/GA-182.mp3

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On this episode of Group Answers, Chris, Brian, and Ken discuss what Sunday School might look like in 2021 and beyond.

Ken Braddy is Lifeway’s Director of Sunday School and manager of adult ongoing Bible studies. He blogs regularly about Sunday school and groups at kenbraddy.com.

Questions Discussed

  • What are some of the trends that you are seeing? 
  • What will be the major obstacles? 
  • What are some tools churches can use to help groups start strong in 2021?
  • Will we ever be back to “normal”?  

The Group Answers Podcast is a weekly show designed to resource, train, and encourage small group leaders. Each episode considers current trends and resources as well as timeless truths and methods of discipleship. It is hosted by Brian Daniel, a Bible study and discipleship expert in Lifeway’s Groups Ministry, and Chris Surratt, the small group and discipleship specialist at Lifeway and author of Leading Small Groups.

Group Leadership
November 20, 2020

Jesus: The Servant in a Time of Suffering

By Deborah Spooner

Jesus. We know He is the Author and Perfecter of our faith, the King of kings and Lord of lords (Hebrews 12:2; 1 Timothy 6:15). But we can easily lose sight of this awe-striking reality as we go about our daily tasks. This is only increased as we experience seasons of upheaval, uncertainty, waiting, or suffering—a lot like what many are presently experiencing.

How do we remember the profound reality that Christ is the Suffering Servant, obedient to the Father above all else? How can we personally experience this reality and then share this life-giving truth with our groups in transformative ways?

We can start by studying and letting ourselves think more deeply on these realities of Jesus. Then, we can pose questions to ourselves and others.

As a starting point, consider this timely Bible study selection: 

The Father declares His pleasure with the Son.

Read Mark 1:9-11.

John the Baptist came preparing the people for the arrival of Jesus. But Jesus would not be the conquering king the people expected; God had sent the Suffering Servant prophesied by Isaiah. The people of Israel needed to understand the humility of their king, but they needed to understand His greatness as well. John confessed that he was not even worthy to untie the sandals of the One coming.

Jesus’ hometown was nothing to brag about, consistent with the circumstances of His birth. Nazareth was a backwater village, the wrong side of the tracks which nothing of notoriety ever came from. Jesus left this remote village of no reputation and was baptized by John to begin His earthly ministry.

But why? We know from John’s message that he was calling everyone everywhere to repentance, and that the sign of repentance was baptism. But Jesus was—and is—the perfect Son of God. He had no need to repent of sin because He was not a sinner. So why be baptized by John?

Jesus’ baptism was, first of all, an issue of obedience to the Father. In the Book of Matthew, we see that John did not want to baptize Jesus because of His greatness. Who was he, John—the forerunner, to baptize Jesus the Messiah? If anyone was baptizing anyone, it should be the other way around. But Jesus explained that His baptism was not for sin, but rather to obey the commands of the prophets. Even from the beginning of His ministry, we see Jesus’ priority was to do exactly what God had sent Him to do.

But there was another reason for Jesus’ baptism. He was baptized to identify with sinners. Though Jesus was not a sinner, He was to be counted among the sinners. By being baptized as sinners were baptized, Jesus associated with those who needed to repent and believe. A few years after this, He would identify in a deeper, more profound way, when He would take the sins of the world on Himself at the cross. He who knew no sin would become sin so that we might be given His righteousness (2 Cor. 5:21).

So Jesus, the perfect Son of God, went down into the water and came back up. It was a shadow of what was to come. Jesus would go down into death as the sacrifice for sin and come back up, raised to new life never again to die. 

Jesus identified with sinners in obedience to the will and plan of His Father, and His Father expressed His pleasure. The text tells us that immediately the heavens were torn open and the Spirit descended on Jesus like a dove. And the Father pronounced His approval: “You are my beloved Son; with you I am well-pleased” (Mark 1:11).

This same pronouncement that was given to Jesus because of His perfect obedience is credited to us because of that same obedience. When we believe in Jesus, His perfect righteousness is credited to our account, and we are positioned as the children of God. 

How amazing to hear this from on high. How amazing to be adopted into God’s family, co-heirs with Christ. How amazing to be counted righteous in Christ. How amazing to know that God has not made a mistake when He formed us and when He called us into His family. How amazing to hear, because of the gospel, “This is My beloved Son in whom I am well pleased!”

Why is it important to remember that Jesus’ priority was obedience to the Father, especially as you walk through seasons of suffering?

What practical difference does it make to you, as a Christian, to know that your Father in heaven is pleased with you?

The above content is excerpted and added to from the Gospel Foundations series, Volume 5: God With Us – The Gospels. Find out more about this Bible study which studies the life of Jesus here or learn more about the entire series here.

Church Leadership
November 16, 2020

Four Ways to Make Sure Your Small Groups Ministry Is Healthy

By Chris Surratt

If there is any “good” to come out of our current COVID-19 crisis, it’s that churches have been forced to reexamine the health of their current programs and ministries. What was working to help create disciples nine months ago may no longer be as effective.

It has also helped shine a spotlight on ministries that have been merely existing for some time—even before this pandemic—but are not producing fruit like they once were.

For many churches, small groups are designed to be the spiritual and relational lifeblood for the congregation. Groups are the environment where the message of the gospel is lived out through the practice of the “one anothers.”

If groups truly are that important to the current and future state of the church, we should do everything we can now to ensure they’re healthy and resourced for success for the future. Here are four ways to help make that happen.

1. Budget for current and future success.

Small groups and discipleship aren’t normally at the top of the budget needs for churches. Groups are a somewhat low-maintenance and self-sustaining ministry line item.

In order for groups to function effectively in this new reality, there will have to be more invested financial resources. The means more investment in the depth and quality of what’s being studied, more in staffing for discipleship, and more in helping group leaders and hosts provide a safe and welcoming environment.

2. Refresh your curriculum for groups.

Whether your small groups are meeting in-person or online, it is time for a curriculum refresh. If your only option for curriculum is printed materials, it will be more difficult for online groups to utilize these fully. Lifeway now provides all of it’s ongoing and short-term studies in digital formats.

Providing studies based on the weekend message is also a great option for new groups and those only meeting online. Smallgroup.com is a tool that makes the process of writing your own studies faster and easier.

3. Make groups a priority everywhere.

The option to join a group can no longer be three clicks away on the website, or a once or twice a year emphasis from the pulpit. The church website was once considered the new lobby for the church, but it’s now the lobby, bulletin, and sometimes the stage.

Getting people assimilated into groups has to be easy and obvious from the first page of your website. Online Zoom groups have made this easier than ever, but in-person groups will need to be just as easy.

4. Model from the top.

Sheep will follow where the shepherd leads. Research shows that churches with leadership that is highly invested in groups have more people in the congregation actively attending groups.

If the lead communicators are actively involved in groups and frequently share stories from those group experiences, people will understand groups are a priority. If groups are just another option listed on the website, they’re easily passed over.

This next season of ministry will require much from our small groups and leaders. Let’s do everything we can to make sure they’re as healthy as they can be!

CHRIS SURRATT (@ChrisSurratt) is the discipleship and small groups specialist for Lifeway Christian Resources, a ministry consultant and coach with more than 20 years of experience, and the author of Leading Small Groups: How to Gather, Launch, Lead, and Multiply Your Small Group.

Group Answers Podcast
November 11, 2020

Group Answers Episode 178: Avoiding Drift in Discipleship

By Group Ministry
https://media.blubrry.com/freebibleteaching/p/groupministry.lifeway.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/13/2020/11/GA-178.mp3

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On this episode of Group Answers, Chris, Brian and Brandon talk about ways to avoid drifting in discipleship, even when everything else in life seems to be moving.

Resources:

  • The Daily Discipleship Guide
  • Six Reasons I’m Using the New Daily Discipleship Guide in My Group

The Group Answers Podcast is a weekly show designed to resource, train, and encourage small group leaders. Each episode considers current trends and resources as well as timeless truths and methods of discipleship. It is hosted by Brian Daniel, a Bible study and discipleship expert in Lifeway’s Groups Ministry, and Chris Surratt, the small group and discipleship specialist at Lifeway and author of Leading Small Groups.

Church Leadership, Group Leadership, Uncategorized
November 10, 2020

Six Reasons I’m Using the New Daily Discipleship Guide in My Group

By Ken Braddy

My wife and I recently launched a new Bible study group at our church. Almost a dozen adults gathered for the first meeting of this fledgling group! Since then we have grown to over 30 group members with an average attendance of 15.

When we were talking about starting this new group, we made a decision to use the Daily Discipleship Guide (DDG) from the Bible Studies for Life series produced by Lifeway. Why choose the Daily Discipleship guide? Here are six reasons I launched my new group with it as our primary discipleship tool:

  1. It is discussion-centered. I love the five great discussion questions that are a part of this series. Every study begins with a tremendous icebreaker question—one that gets the group talking, and one with no wrong answer (which encourages everyone to speak up more during the study and take a chance on answering the other questions that are asked). Plus, I don’t want the Bible study to be about me and what I say or do—I want the Bible study to be about what the group does, says, and thinks. Of course I study and prepare, and I fully guide my group’s study, but I don’t have to do all the talking.
  2. It engages the group members during the Bible study. The DDG has engaging images, in-group activities, and fill-in-the-blanks that engage logical, visual, physical, and relational learners.
  3. It provides five daily studies that tie to the group’s study. This is my favorite new feature in this resource! Once I lead the group’s Bible study, my group members have an opportunity to dig a little deeper in the days that follow. After the group Bible study ends, there are several pages that include daily Bible studies connecting to the biblical text we studied together as a group. Our group studies now align with my group member’s “God and me” time during the week. The daily studies expand on and reinforce what we studied as a group.
  4. The six-session studies are compelling and engaging. I don’t have to create new Bible studies every week on my own. I love the way Lifeway’s experts have carefully crafted each study along with the teaching resources I need to deliver a quality Bible study every week. The topics hit adults where they live and engage them in Bible study.
  5. The teaching plan is a part of the DDG. The group plan is built into the back of each Daily Discipleship Guide. Everyone in the group is now a potential teacher, substitute, or apprentice teacher. Savvy group leaders will identify a person or two with potential to be future group leaders (or subs and apprentices right now) to follow along in the group plan section, watching to see how the leader uses the teaching plan ideas in the group. I want these individuals to see that they could follow the same teaching plan to teach our group or a group of their own. The goal is for them to say, “Since I have the same teaching plan my leader does, I could do this!”
  6. The Bible Studies for Life series is based around the eight signposts of discipleship. Research has demonstrated there are eight signposts, or indicators, that people are on the right pathway and are growing as disciples. Every year, Bible Studies for Life has eight six-session studies. Each of the 8 studies is centered around one of the eight signposts of discipleship. If I simply continue using Bible Studies for Life in my group, I will expose my group members to the core ways that God’s people grow and mature as disciples. That’s huge!

I’m proud to place this excellent resource in the hands of every group member and our guests. If you want to have free access to four sessions of the Daily Discipleship Guide, click here.

Other than serving as the manager for Lifeway’s ongoing adult Bible studies and as the Director of Sunday School, Ken is an 18-year church education staff leader and blogs regularly about Sunday School and groups ministry at kenbraddy.com.

Group Leadership
November 5, 2020

Three Guidelines for Talking About the Election in Your Group

By Group Ministry

By Will Johnston

I once convinced someone to switch to my political party by berating their beliefs and saying that they must be stupid if they didn’t come around to my way of thinking.

Find that hard to believe?

Me too. It didn’t happen. I’ve actually never seen that strategy work, although that doesn’t seem to stop people from trying it out.

There’s a good chance that your small group members don’t all agree on politics.  Even if you think they do, they might not actually. I’ve got friends who are tight-lipped about their politics because they live in an area where their livelihoods would be impacted if they were too open.

Things are crazy right now. We’re all a little unsettled. We’re not sure what direction our country is going or how this election season is going to play out.

You’ve probably heard the old adage to avoid discussing religion and politics in polite company, but small group isn’t polite company.  At it’s best, it’s the people we can be the most real with, and politics has a real impact on our lives. It matters, and if it matters, then it’s fair game for groups.

That doesn’t mean every group needs to discuss politics, but you should be ready in case it comes up.  Here are three simple guidelines to keep your group discussion from going the way of the comments on nearly every Facebook post about politics.

  1. Focus on “I” rather than “you” or “they.”

Keep the conversation focused on who each person supports, why they support them, and even why they don’t support the other person.  For example:

  • “I supported Donald Trump because I think he has the best plan for XYZ.”
  • “I voted for Joe Biden because I believe he better reflects ABC.”
  • “My concern about Trump/Biden is that he DEF, and I think that reveals some character issues.”
  • “I understand why you would vote for Trump/Biden because of his position on HIJ, but I think XYZ is a higher priority, so that’s why I voted for Biden/Trump.

What we want to avoid are statements that disparage the other person or their positions and shut down discussion.  For example:

  • “I just don’t see how a Christian could support Donald Trump/Joe Biden. He’s for XYZ!”
  • “All Christians should support Donald Trump/Joe Biden because ABC!”
  • “Democrats/Republicans are for DEF, and that’s just plain ungodly.”
  • “Jesus cares about HIJ, so Christians should support Democrats/Republicans.”

Do you see the difference there?  The first set of statements expresses what I think and why I think it. The second set of statements tells everyone else that they have to agree with me.

  1. Jesus called us to unity, not to a political party.

I do not ask for these only, but also for those who will believe in me through their word, that they may all be Republicans, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me.

I love those words from Jesus, praying that we would all be Republicans so that the world may believe.  Or wait… was it Democrats? Did Jesus pray we would be Democrats?

Look, I think politics is important. I used to work on Capitol Hill. I truly believe that it matters. But ultimately, Jesus called me to follow Him, and he called me to unity with other followers, even the ones I disagree with politically.

At the end of the day, the world will see there’s something different about us when we can love people with whom we disagree because of the love of Jesus.

  1. Pray.

I probably should have started with “pray,” but the truth is we may not be able to open every discussion on politics that happens in our group with prayer.  Regardless, we can pray for our group’s unity ahead of time, just like Jesus prayed for the Church’s unity.

And when a political conversation starts up in our groups, we can pray silently that the words of our group members would be infused with love. We can pray that those nervous to share their thoughts would have the courage to do so, and that those who are outspoken would have the love and humility required to listen.

And sometimes, if a political discussion looks like it might heat up too much, you just might need to stop everyone, pray, and lay out some ground rules for the discussion. Feel free to use points one and two above.

Will Johnston is the Director of Build Community at Eastside Community Church in Anaheim, California. Will graduated from Wheaton College with a degree in theology, did a two-and-a-half year stint on Capitol Hill, and then joined the staff of National Community Church in Washington D.C., where he oversaw small groups.

Group Leadership
November 2, 2020

Avoiding Pitfalls in Group Dynamics

By Group Ministry

By Reid Smith

Community is messy business! Having differences in a small group, acknowledging disappointments and hurt feelings, and running up against frustrations and challenges are all part of moving to deeper maturity in community and Christlikeness. In fact, conflict can be the very thing that helps your group to break through to new levels of honesty and freedom in Christ.

When you trace Christ’s interactions with the Pharisees, His reaction at the Temple with the money changers, and some exchanges with the disciples, it becomes clear that Jesus did not avoid conflict. The New Testament does not gloss over the reality of conflict in community. However, God’s Word makes a difference between constructive conflict and pitfalls like senseless quarreling (Prov 20:3; Rom 14:19; Eph 4:25-32; 2 Tim 2:23-24).

There will be a mixture of personalities and gifts that will surface in your small group. Sometimes the dynamic that is created will function as a conduit of God’s healing love and peace. Other times, people will feel friction as fellow believers challenge them to turn from complacency and sin and move toward complete commitment to Jesus Christ. Both of these scenarios are great, and we should pray for them to occur. However, there will be times when conflict and confusion arise because of ignorance, insensitivity, or quarreling over petty issues, etc.  

Let’s take a look at some of the more common pitfalls and how to avoid them so that your small group can be a safe place where grace reigns and authentic biblical community can grow.

Don’t Tolerate Bickering Over Trivial Issues

Don’t allow abstract theological arguments to ensue over technical points of doctrine or trivial matters (1 Tim 1:3-7, 6:3-5; 2 Tim 2:23; Titus 3:9). This doesn’t help to build a healthy small group dynamic and it’s a turnoff to those just getting started in their relationship with God. You can ask those who tend to enjoy this to debate outside of your regular group time. Intellectualism is a good thing and can enrich your small group. However, unless it is coupled with “why” and “how” application questions, it is not beneficial in a mixed group dynamic. Promote safety and err toward discussion over debate. Maintain the highest level of awareness toward those with the lowest level of biblical literacy.

Beware the “Introversion and Argumentation Correlation” 

Petty conflict frequently signals that your small group has turned in on itself. For example, if your group is more concerned with the signs and times of the end of the world then with bringing in the harvest before Jesus returns, there’s a good chance your group has gotten off track. At times you will need to dredge the bottom of your small group’s stream so it can flow again by turning the focus of people away from themselves. The best way to do this is to engage in outreach together.

What if someone begins promoting false theology?

There is a difference between someone saying something that happens to be erroneous (most of the times this is the case) and someone who is actually promoting false theology. If a person is doing the latter, address it head-on (1 Tim 1:18-19; 2 Tim 3:16-17; Titus 1:9, 2:1; Jude 1:3-4). The Bible is the Word of God (Gal 1:11-12;  2 Tim 3:14-17;  2 Pet 1:20-21, 3:15-16).  For this reason, the Scriptures need to be the standard of truth in all of your small group discussions. It’s important you show love and grace in how you do this. Here are some pointers for dealing with biblical misinterpretations or false theology that’s shared aloud in your small group: 

  1. Ask the person to clarify what they’re really saying—you might even restate it for them: “Are you saying that….am I hearing you correctly?”
  2. Ask them to show you scriptural support for what they’re saying. Oftentimes, this will bring a halt to it. If they try to justify their position, invite your co-leader or other trusted group members into the conversation by asking them, “What do you think about this?” 
  3. Gently but firmly express the truth and if possible support what you share with a biblical reference and bring closure to the matter—don’t let the individual’s misunderstanding derail the whole meeting. If they are in fact promoting something other than the truth—connect with them privately outside of your group time and be direct in asking them not to do it again. If they’re contentious, contact your coach for support.

Encourage “I” Statements vs. “You” Statements 

When restating what a person is saying or when handling conflict, begin by saying, “What I hear you saying is…” or “What I think you are saying is…” Then ask them if you’re accurate. This encourages understanding instead of frustration which can result when someone uses “You” statements (e.g. “You said…” or “You always make me feel…”) “I” statements communicate that what you are hearing the person say is your perception of what has been spoken, not necessarily what has been said (or what the person intended to say). This will help the person who is speaking to know they’ve been understood or misunderstood while fostering a sense of acceptance. Restating the speaker’s comments with “I” statements shows that you are genuinely trying to understand what the person is saying without judgment or accusation. “I” statements also help to express more personal feelings about what the other shared.

What if the group continues to get off topic? 

Multi-person discussions naturally meander. Don’t be too rigid. Try to keep the balance between keeping a focus and giving the focus some wiggle room. By way of analogy: a sailor doesn’t hold on tightly to the rope locking the sail in a single position. This actually gets the boat to the destination slower than if one held on loosely to the rope letting the sail fully catch the shifting winds. Every small group has its own pace and rhythm based on its unique chemistry—discern your group’s chemical make-up and steer the study and discussion accordingly. These pointers might help with a group which seems to continually get off topic:

  1. Preview your small group’s upcoming study material and assume you’ll only be able to cover HALF of the questions presented. Ask yourself: “Which half of these questions will work best for my group?” This “cleans up” the dynamic of your small group’s study and discussion time, bringing more focus onto the topic.
  2. Outline what you want to do from the outset of your time together. Avoid sharing as if it’s an agenda. Set a goal for your small group. For example, “In this meeting, let’s explore…” or “What I hope you’ll walk away with by the end of our meeting is…”
  3. Discern a pattern. Does your small group tend to get off topic at generally the same time of each meeting? Does something trigger your getting off topic (maybe it’s an individual, how questions are phrased, or maybe it’s the study itself!)?
  4. Ask the group if they’re happy with the study you’re doing. When a group continually gets off topic it might be a signal it’s time to abandon the particular study you’re doing. That’s okay to do! People might just be bored or disinterested with it. Dialogue together about this. Check in from time to time with your small group and ask them if the study you’re working through is working for them.
  5. Try to link “wandering talk” back to the topic at hand. Look for opportunities to jump in, graciously segue, and take hold of the steering wheel again. You don’t have to bring an abrupt halt to aimless chatter—look for the right moment when you can gracefully harness it and relate it to your small group’s study focus.
  6. Invite your coach to attend a meeting. They have a different vantage point than you and may see something you don’t that provides insight. 
  7. Ask other trusted small group members to help the study stay on track.

Avoid pitfalls, not conflict itself. Conflict avoidance has a paradoxical way of decimating relationships and destabilizing the development of biblical community. Rather, keep the main things the main things in your small group’s spiritual conversations. Encourage personal maturity and the missional application of God’s truth. Listen to the unique undertones of your small group dynamic, seek first to understand, and be flexible with how your journey together plays out. The same One who began a good work in you and will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus will do the same for your small group (Php 1:6).

Reid Smith has been equipping leaders in churches of all sizes and stages of growth for effective disciple-making since 1996. He lives in Wellington, Florida where he serves as a Groups Pastor at Christ Fellowship. You can find more of his helpful resources at www.reidsmith.org.

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