The Meeting – Page 2

September 8, 2020

A Republican, a Democrat, and a Murder Hornet Walk Into a Group…

Remember when “murder hornets” were the biggest thing we had to worry about in 2020?

With all that’s taken place in the first eight months of this year—COVID-19, lockdowns, racial injustice, protests, political tensions—it feels like we should all just take a beach vacation for the rest of the year.

Unfortunately, that’s not possible for most of us, so we’re now trying to navigate through more tension online and in-person than seemingly ever before.

If you haven’t felt it yet, just pop open Facebook, Twitter, or any app where people gather and voice their opinions.

It’s natural that those conversations and opinions are going to carry over to your small group. And that’s not always a bad thing.

We want people to be themselves while in our group, and part of that is allowing them to share anxieties and worries taking place in their lives.

The problem comes when those times of sharing turn divisive. Masks or no masks. Trump or Biden. Pandemic or hoax. Virtual or in-person church/school.

Passions spill over on each side, and winners and losers are staked out by the group.

However, the message of the gospel—the place where our groups should ultimately stake our flags—isn’t a message of divisiveness.

It’s a message of unity, borne from the fact we’re all unified in our need of a crucified and risen Savior to save us from our sins.

So the question becomes: How do we successfully lead a group of people through a gospel discussion who are deeply divided on the issues of the day? Here are five ideas.

1. SET CLEAR GROUND RULES.

Every group should have some type of covenant or agreement in place for expectations of how the group will function.

As a part of that agreement, ground rules should be set on how political issues will be handled and discussed when they come up.

Above all, every conversation must be filled with faith, hope, and love. If those three things aren’t present, the debate will have to stop.

2. ACKNOWLEDGE THERE ARE DIFFERENT OPINIONS IN THE GROUP.

If there’s more than one person in your group, I can almost guarantee there will be different opinions on hot-button issues. Just acknowledging that fact from the beginning will help alleviate some of the tension.

Determine that you’re not going to have political contests within the group. Contests create winners and losers. We’re all winners when we cling to the message of the gospel.

3. CONTINUE TO PRACTICE THE “ONE ANOTHERS” IN YOUR GROUP.

Pastor Derwin Gray recently wrote, “Jesus says that people will know we are His disciples by the way we love one another. Love doesn’t mean I approve of your sin. Love means I recognize your human dignity and worth.”

As we continue to practice the “one anothers” in our group, the more we will see our fellow brothers and sisters as children of God, not as political foes.

4. BE READY TO CALL A TRUCE.

There will be moments and issues where it’s impossible for everyone to be in agreement. It will be up to you then as the leader to call a truce and ask everyone to agree to disagree on the topic at hand.

Continuing to debate will take time and energy away from the core mission of the group to study God’s Word and make disciples. Know when it’s time to call it and move on.

5. KNOW WHEN TO TAKE A DISCUSSION OFFLINE.

There will be times when a heated discussion should be continued outside of the group meeting. If the debate has turned personal between group members, it’s best to step in and suggest returning to it at a different time.

Don’t let the conflict fester too long without resolution. More time and space can sometimes lead to more built-up pain. Hurt people will hurt people.

With all of these options, use Paul’s advice in Ephesians 4:32 as your guide: “And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ.”

Even in this most divisive of times in history, we’re all bonded together by the love God had for us by sending His one and only Son to die for us. We can all unite around that!

A version of this article first appeared at factsandtrends.net.

CHRIS SURRATT (@ChrisSurratt) is the discipleship and small groups specialist for Lifeway Christian Resources, a ministry consultant and coach with more than 20 years of experience, and the author of Leading Small Groups: How to Gather, Launch, Lead, and Multiply Your Small Group.

Group Answers Podcast

September 2, 2020

Group Answers Episode 168: Leading Better Discussions With Your Online Group

By Chris Surratt

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On this episode of Group Answers, Chris, Brian, and Ken discuss how to lead a better discussion with your online group.

Ideas Discussed:

Call on a specific person to answer a specific question.
Send questions to group members in advance of the Bible study.
Do not answer your own questions.
Ask group members to raise their hand, use the chat feature, or use the “raise hand” feature in your online meeting tool.
Send group members to a breakout room.
Use a curriculum series that is discussion-oriented.

Resources Mentioned:

Leading Better Discussions blog post

The Group Answers Podcast is a weekly show designed to resource, train, and encourage small group leaders. Each episode considers current trends and resources as well as timeless truths and methods of discipleship. It is hosted by Brian Daniel, a Bible study and discipleship expert in Lifeway’s Groups Ministry, and Chris Surratt, the small group and discipleship specialist at Lifeway and author of Leading Small Groups.

Group Leadership

August 28, 2020

Leading Your Group Members to Question Their Doubts

By Deborah Spooner

In many ways, we’ve been here before.

Your group members are feeling and thinking… a lot of things. These likely include anxiety, loneliness, depression, miscommunication, lack of motivation, exhaustion, boredom, and much more.

When plans for the future seem uncertain and past milestones are easily dismissed, many groups experience renewed questions and even doubt.

Where is God during a season such as this?

I know He cares about my situation, but how could He let me face this many disappointments? I thought I was following His plans for my life, but even those seem disrupted… Did I miss something? I’m tired. I’m worn out. Is He really a good Father to ask us to endure this long?

But doubt is not a new place for group members to find themselves and we can take steps to help others (and ourselves) walk through such a challenging season.

Ask the What

It might seem simple, but group members may have a more difficult time pinpointing what they are actually struggling with or feeling than we might initially imagine. It could be that they think they are doubting God’s plan for their lives, but might actually feel guilt that they seemingly haven’t worked hard enough, and thus are afraid that they are missing God’s best. In this scenario, group members are doubting that they are enough, not that God’s plan is enough. Getting deeper into the core of what group members are thinking and feeling in their doubt is the first step in order to start helping. You can simply remember to “ask the what”—from what a group member is telling you of their experience, what might actually be going on within them? Is the “what” they’re struggling with deeper than what they might perceive?

Identify the When

Once you’ve worked to dig deeper into what someone might be struggling with, you can now begin to help them pinpoint the when. Maybe their “what” is that they doubt whether their inadequate effort has caused them to miss God’s best for their lives. You can look for the when by asking: when—at what times of day, after what activities, during what conversations—do you find yourself feeling this way? For instance, your group member might identify that they feel the most doubt about their inadequacy (and thus God’s plan) in the hour before dinner, when they have finished a work day and are transitioning to focus on their family or friends. Finding the various times or circumstances when the group member begins to struggle with doubt can begin to empower them to avoid becoming debilitated by their doubtful thoughts or feelings but instead look to make a change.

Search for the Who and How

After knowing “the what” and more closely pinpointing “the when,” now you can encourage your members to ask for “the who & how.” Ultimately, “the who” is Christ and He makes a true impact in our lives. For instance, as the busy mom finishes her work day and starts to prepare dinner for her family and friends, she might begin to doubt her adequacy, and by extension, even God’s goodness. At this moment, she can ask, “Who is Christ, and how does that change my situation, right now?” Christ is her Lord, and He’s brought her into His family with brothers and sisters that love her. Families recognize that mistakes will happen, and she is still loved even when she isn’t “enough,” as none of us truly can be. Remembering that Christ is the one who welcomes us into this family of believers changes her situation. How? This reminds her that she isn’t meant to perform but to show Christ’s love. She’s to help people see more of Jesus, regardless of her adequacy or inadequacy. And that won’t change. The reality of who Christ is brings larger perspective and truth into our moments of doubt. He has the power to truly impact and change our perspectives on these situations.

Our group members are experiencing difficulty. But, there’s help and hope for the here and now. We can ask the what, the why, and the who and how in order to get our doubts back on track. Yet sometimes, we all need further assistance as we ask questions and face persistent doubts about God, His goodness, and faith. Thankfully, we’ve teamed with Barnabas Piper to provide you with additional guidance. If you or your group members are struggling with doubt, check out the Help My Unbelief Bible study to take your next steps.

Group Leadership

August 27, 2020

Leading Better Discussion in a Group that is Meeting Online

By Ken Braddy

Every once in a while, we all need a little boost. Some of us need a boost of energy. Others need a boost of confidence. If you are leading an online Bible study group, chances are you could use some ways to boost the discussion taking place. By now you’ve learned that teaching online is different than teaching in a classroom or living room. Your group members may not have fully adjusted to this new virtual environment, but you can have great discussion with a little boost. Here are 6 ways to boost discussion in your online group:

Call on a specific person to answer a specific question. By asking a person to respond to your question, you’ll get better responses than if you throw a question out to the group. You can even say to another person, “I’m coming to you next with the same question…get ready!”
Send questions to group members in advance of the Bible study. Use email or text messaging to send a few questions to your group members before you meet. If they have a day or two to ponder the questions, you’ll get a boost in the discussion during your Bible study.
Do not answer your own questions. If you are a group leader and frequently ask questions in your group, do not let silence intimidate you into answering your questions. If you do, you’ll train group members to wait for you to respond. Ask your question, wait 15-20 seconds, take a sip of coffee and relax, and I promise that someone in your group will be more uncomfortable with the silence and they’ll answer your question—just wait them out! Additionally, Christian educator and groups expert Robert Pamino’s research validated that the quality of responses goes up after people have had at least 20 seconds to contemplate their answers.
Ask group members to raise their hand, use the chat feature, or use the “raise hand” feature in your online meeting tool. Your online meeting tool, such as Zoom, will have features like “chat” and “raise hand.” Encourage your group members to use these, but don’t forget about the old-fashioned way…ask them to physically raise their hand if they want to ask a question or respond to one.
Send group members to a breakout room. If you use Zoom, the tool can divide your group into smaller ones and you can send them to a breakout room in smaller groups of 3-4 people to discuss a question you’ve assigned to the larger group. This is the same as using buzz groups in a classroom, except you’re doing so virtually.
Use a curriculum series that is discussion-oriented. Lifeway’s Bible Studies for Life series is designed to get group members talking. Each session contains 5 really great discussion questions, and the leader guide has three more alternate questions. The questions are provocative and open-ended so that discussion is boosted, not stymied. If you want to take a look at some free samples, click here to jump to the Bible Studies for Life homepage. It will be worth your time!

By implementing any or all of the 6 strategies above, you’ll boost discussion in your online Bible study group. Pick one or two to try the next time you meet with your group online.

Group Leadership

August 20, 2020

Challenging Paradigms

By Group Ministry

By Reid Smith

All of us come to the table with our own experience, biases, and presumptions about what works best with starting and multiplying healthy groups in a church. Over time, paradigms (or ways of thinking) about groups formulate in our minds, which in turn influence the culture of the community being built. This is natural, but should be challenged so that the culture of community in your church is being shaped strategically around informed convictions instead of unchallenged paradigms.

One of the best ways of challenging paradigms is by asking questions. As you search God’s Word and your heart, your paradigms might change or be further solidified. These inquiries are meant to be thought-provoking and are good to process with other trusted leaders whether or not you’ve launched groups in your church yet.

Are you ready to begin building a strategic culture of community in your church? Clear your mind and honestly grapple with these 10 questions:

Do you think of groups as a “ministry” of your church or as the building blocks of every ministry area of your church?
Is there a clear vision for groups? What language does leadership intentionally use to support this vision?
Does your church put more emphasis on joining or starting groups? What are the pros and cons of the language leadership uses to support this emphasis?
Do you consider it to be more advantageous to have a broad/open-ended or narrow/specific definition of what constitutes a “group” in your church? Explain.
What is the primary motivation of getting people in groups (retention, member care, increasing engagement in church activities/volunteerism, spiritual maturity, mission, etc.)? Are other critical things being under-communicated as a result of this emphasis?
On a scale of 1-10 (with ‘1’ being “if I have time and feel like it” to ‘10’ being “a vital spiritual habit I prioritize weekly”), how important do you think your average church member views their personal involvement in a group? Explain.
What are the qualifications for serving as a group leader? Would you consider yourself to have a high or low bar? Explain.
Do you have an ongoing rhythm of equipping leaders once they get started? Describe any gap you see between what this looks like now and what you hope it will look like.
What does success look like to your group leadership? How is it measured and celebrated?
How is growth and multiplication built into the way groups are communicated and stewarded in your church?

It is actually a good thing if you’re walking away from this exercise with more questions than answers. Take time to figure out how the Lord wants you to plant, prioritize, and prune your group life so that Christ-centered community can grow healthy and strong.

If you’re not the Lead/Senior Pastor, then find a way to process these questions together, agree on responses, and document them. This will establish and maintain a strategic culture of community that will start and multiply healthy groups throughout your church moving forward.

Reid Smith has been equipping leaders in churches of all sizes and stages of growth for effective disciple-making since 1996. He lives in Wellington, Florida where he serves as a Groups Pastor at Christ Fellowship. You can find more of his helpful resources at www.reidsmith.org.

Group Leadership

August 11, 2020

Best Practices for Online Groups

By Chris Surratt

As you might imagine, having an online group experience is considerably different than sharing a living room or classroom in person. Here are a few tips for participating in or facilitating an online group experience.

Recommend group members to download meeting software at least 30 minutes prior to meeting, just in case they have technology issues they need to work out.
Make sure your face has sufficient lighting.
- Lighting works best in front of your face, not behind.
Make sure your face is centered in the video camera.
- Members probably don’t want to see only your forehead or neck throughout the meeting, so position your camera accordingly.
Select the quietest room/location you can find.
- Turn off anything making noise in the background (TV, radio, appliances).
- Put pets in a different room or have them in a place where they will be most quiet.
Only use one device per household.
- When two devices are used in the same room, it produces feedback that affects all group participants.
- If two people feel more comfortable participating with their own devices than sharing the same one, each should have his or her own room for doing so.
Mute your computer unless you’re talking.
- If everyone’s microphone is turned on at the same time, the sound quality can be an issue and it can be hard to hear the person who is talking. The best policy is to mute yourself when you are not talking.
- If you are muted, make sure to nod your head and listen well so people can recognize you are following them.
- You will be muting and unmuting a lot, so get used to it.
- Also, you’ll get called out if you don’t unmute, so don’t be offended.
- The host may mute you if you don’t do this yourself, so don’t take that personally.
Be an assertive moderator.
- The moderator/host of the group will need to be welcoming and in charge. Make sure as host you jump on a few minutes early to welcome everyone.
- Redirect the conversation or mute participants as necessary. This may feel rude at times, but it is necessary to manage a good online experience for the group.
- Generally speaking, the moderator should talk 30% of the time and listen 70% of the time.
Create a plan for participants to indicate they’d like to talk.
- Since participants will often be muted, having a plan will help you know when to mute and unmute.
- You may try something like raising a hand, answering in a specific order, or another signal.
- Utilize the “chat” features to post questions for discussion.
Give your full attention to the group experience, resisting the urge to multi-task.
- When participants are not paying full attention it can be a big distraction online just like an in-person group.
- When talking, spend some time looking at the camera, not just the screen. This digital form of “eye-contact” goes a long way toward creating a sense of connection and community.
Stay in touch afterwards.
- Assign prayer partners to call each other after group is over and pray with them.
- Or text each other in gender specific text chats to share requests.
- Leverage GroupMe, Facebook Groups, WhatsApp, etc. as a place to stay connected and keep the conversation going throughout the week.

As we implement best practices for online groups, can we find best resources? Turns out Lifeway and various Christian leaders have partnered for resources that are especially timely in this current season. Check out an online Bible study group for Derwin Gray’s The Good Life, a multitude of teaching video options, and individualized resources such as Pray Like This: A 52-Week Prayer Journal or Foundations: A 260-Day Bible Reading Plan for Busy Believers.

Group Leadership

August 10, 2020

How to Choose a Bible Study for Your Online Group

By Chris Surratt

After several months of social distancing, most of us are now accustomed to gathering with our communities online.

It took us a few attempts to understand how online conferencing platforms work, but we did it, and now it’s time to utilize this new normal for more than just catching up with our groups.

For a lot of small groups, that means figuring out how to successfully choose and work through a Bible study virtually. It’s not always an easy task under normal circumstances, but now it’s especially difficult.

What worked well with a group sitting around a living room or classroom, may not translate as well to a video call. Here are a few things to think about as you decide what study might work best for your online group.

TYPE OF CONTENT

There are natural limitations to how deep a conversation can go in an online format. It’s more difficult to read body language and have the back-and-forth necessary to get too far below the surface of a line of discussion. That limitation will narrow the choices for the type of study content you offer.

Sermon-based. If everyone in the group is a member of the same church, then a sermon-based discussion is an easy option. Most church services are now online only, so it’s easy for a group member to watch the message before the group meeting–even if they didn’t catch it on Sunday.

If your church doesn’t offer discussion questions to go along with the messages, Smallgroup.com is an easy-to-use website to help you write your own. You can get a free 30-day trial with no obligation to continue.

Short-term. If you would rather do a short-term (6-weeks or less), stand-alone type Bible study, this is a great opportunity to poll the group to find out where the felt needs are right now.

They may be battling feelings of anxiety, loneliness, and/or depression during this uncertain and isolated time, so choose a study that brings biblical truth to those very real issues.

Dealing with doubt? Try Help My Unbelief by Barnabas Piper. Struggling with purpose? Consider Pathways by Tony Evans. Wondering how to engage with injustice? Study The Church and The Racial Divide by Trevor Atwood.

Video Study. Video supported studies are always a good choice for groups. It takes the burden of teaching the content off of the group leader, and allows him or her to facilitate a conversation around the teaching.

However, watching a video online with a group is more difficult than in-person. There are sometimes technical and legal issues with sharing a video, and longer videos will take up too much discussion time.

Look for studies with shorter teaching videos (10 minutes or less) or ask the members to watch them ahead of the group meeting. You can even rent or buy videos to send to your group or use individually. Smallgroup.com allows you to easily distribute the video by email or post a link anywhere on the web to share.

You’ll even see teaching from past live events you can incorporate into any small group experience. Or consider an “online Bible study,” hosted by Lifeway Groups, that allows your group members to access the teaching videos for free and to engage in a Facebook Group (as well as your own small group) with comments and discussion.

GROUP ENGAGEMENT

The way the group engages the content will be slightly different in an online environment. This will require the host/facilitator to be more active in bringing people into the discussion.

Where making eye contact with someone in an in-person group is sometimes enough to encourage them to speak, that is not possible online.

Until the group is more comfortable with the format, the facilitator may need to audibly call on someone if no-one jumps in. This will get less awkward the longer the group meets virtually.

The number of questions you get through will probably be fewer than normal, and that’s okay. Don’t feel pressured to finish every question in the study.

Choose two or three in advance that will adequately cover the topic in the allotted time, and give the rest as “homework” for the group to work through during the week between meetings.

Follow-up with group members is more important now than ever before. Because the online group discussions will probably stay more on the surface level, it’s important to connect by phone or text with individuals for those soul check-ins that we all need right now.

Some group members will be more open with their feelings, and others will need some in-between the lines discernment. Ask the Holy Spirit to give you wisdom as you make these phone calls.

It’s time for our online groups to continue the mission of creating disciples within the context of community. The study of God’s Word is an important part of that process.

Group Leadership

August 6, 2020

Leadership Investment Rhythms

By Group Ministry

By Reid Smith

Intentional investments made over time into developing group leaders will empower them to create healthy environments where biblical community can grow. This requires meaningful touchpoints in different ways with enough frequency that leaders feel known, loved, included, and challenged and they continue learning and growing.

Different leaders need different kinds of care. This care will look different for each leader based on their experience in leading groups. There are repeatable investment rhythms you can easily put into motion to build relationships for healthy leadership development. A group leader will fall somewhere on the spectrum of new to experienced. For simplicity sake, we will only look at these two general categories:

New leaders typically want time to interface with you in person and be connected with other leaders. They are helped by a higher frequency of touchpoints that are more personalized. You want to love on these leaders and provide ample attention and direction, especially within the first few months as they begin leading.

Experienced leaders typically prefer a lower frequency of touchpoints that don’t require as many in person meetings. They need to know you’re there and care, but they don’t need the same level of engagement as new leaders. Keep these people in the loop and show your appreciation for them.

NEW	EXPERIENCED
Pray for them regularly Call or text 1x/mo* Meet in person 1:1 or group format 1x/1-2 mos Send email or note 1-2x/mo Visit group twice in first 6 mos Be available as needed	Pray for them regularly Call or text 1x/mo Meet in person 1:1 or group format once per semester Send email or note 1x/mo Visit group 1x/yr Be available as needed

* Weekly frequency during their initial training & up through their first study

The concept of “span of care” applies as the scale of your group leadership grows. For example, let’s say you have eight group leaders. You’ve built relationships with them over time and have been able to provide the necessary care, but you want to do more. About this time, four new leaders emerge out of these groups who are eager to launch their own groups.

You quickly realize that you can’t maintain the same level of care with your first wave of leaders and also pour into the next wave. To meet this growing demand, you select one of your most capable and available leaders to function as a “coach” and invest into half of your experienced leaders (4) and half of the new leaders (2). Instead of your span of care becoming unmanageable at twelve, you equally divide care for the whole group of leaders between you and your new coach resulting in a 1:6 span of care.

Keep in mind that span of care is an elastic concept in practice. For example, coaches with greater margin and leadership competency can care for a greater number of leaders. Yet, it is important to continually assess what level of care leaders need because even the most experienced leaders face personal crises and challenges in group life that will require greater investment at times.

Occasionally, you and your coaches should plan to substitute an in-person touchpoint with a half-day retreat or conference that will develop your leadership community. There is an array of top-notch content available on demand for this type of setting. Adding variety into how you invest in your leaders will help guard against these rhythms falling into ruts.

The table above can serve as a rule of thumb to help you determine what healthy investment rhythms should look like in your church as you assess the maturity and specific needs of your group leadership.

Group Leadership

July 20, 2020

Five Reasons We Need Unchurched People in Our Groups

By Dwayne McCrary

After the Spanish flu pandemic, believers expressed a renewed interest in Bible study groups. We can certainly see why today! We miss the community found in the company of other believers. Talking through a Bible passage and listening to how others receive the truths found in that passage encourages us to process the passage further and gives us food for thought. We come to understand that our questions and doubts may be close to normal. The value of these groups is seen further through time spent praying with one another in person.

However following the Spanish flu, some began to see Bible study groups as places for believers to be nurtured and moved away from groups built for all people including the skeptic, searcher, and non-believer. People who are not yet believers need to study the Bible and we need them to be in our groups. Here’s why.

We need the dialogue. The longer we live as a believer, the more likely our friends will be believers. We begin to talk in “believer” terms and lose our “unbeliever” dialect. Losing some of that language is a good thing, but we must still find a way to communicate with unbelievers. We are called to share the gospel and we need contact with unbelievers to do so. Keeping our Bible study group open to all people puts us in a position to share the gospel more readily.
We need the accountability. In his letter to the Corinthians, Paul called on them to imitate him as he imitated Christ (11:1). The Corinthian believers needed someone to show them what a follower of Christ looked like and Paul was willing for them to examine him. By placing himself on this pedestal, Paul was making himself accountable to all who were looking to him as an example. We need to know others that need an example and we need the accountability to be such an example.
We need to remember. The longer we live as a believer, the more likely we are to forget the guilt, the search, and the sense of lostness that comes with being separated from God. Losing that sense impacts our gratitude for the cross and the salvation Christ provides us. We need to always be mindful of the grace granted to us.
We need to be challenged. We sometimes get comfortable with our beliefs and rarely revisit them. Being around unbelievers will lead us to explain why we believe what we believe. Doing so will help us refine and sharpen our beliefs, while keeping us from becoming complacent about what we believe and why.
We need to learn to love. We are directed to love our neighbors, all of them. The best way for breaking down a “them” and “us” mentality is spending time with whomever we consider to be “them.”

The believers in Bible study groups that purposefully remain open to all who join gain a great deal from the presence of unbelievers. Believers need those who don’t yet follow Christ to be in our Bible study group just as much as they need to study the Bible for themselves.

Dwayne McCrary leads some teams that create ongoing Bible study resources at Lifeway including Explore the Bible (goExploreTheBible.com). He teaches two groups in his church (one for empty nesters and one for three year olds) and is an adjunct professor at Midwestern Baptist Theological Seminary in Kansas City.

Group Answers Podcast

November 6, 2019

Leading Better Discussion in a Group that is Meeting Online

How to Choose a Bible Study for Your Online Group

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